Guess What?

I've been hired by DCPS!

WOO HOO!!!!!!

Keep praying for me, I need to find a school who is in dire need of a kindergarten teacher!

and I know beggars can't be choosers, but I want a school that's predominantly "minority". Like, 70% black, 20% hispanic, 10% other.

what?

"I'd like to call up Angela and Danielle to the front... these two ladies are spending their last Sunday with us because one is moving to New York and the other is moving to California! Let's pray for them and wish them all the best!"

*applause all around*

Our Father? Cannon? What ever he is made an announcement similar to that abt 6 weeks ago. I was beaming with pride cause Dani clued me in several weeks before it all happened and I was soooo happy to see it come to be. The other one, *shoulder shrug*. I just "feel" for the liturgical ministry we'll be missing. (sarcasm)

During the peace time of service, one of the ladies I actually like* at church scurried over to me with great concern. Her face was painted with worry as she started to speak, "Angela and Dani are leaving! You're not going anywhere, are you?"

I was touched; smiled to show my appreciation and assured her I wasn't going anywhere. "No, I'm staying right here." She gushed and hugged me. "Good."

The minute I got home, I started applying to school districts in northern virginia and Washington, D.C.

*

What crossed my mind the split second after I was happy someone was worried I was leaving was, "Why can't I go?" It seemed like everyone was able to go on with their lives but I have to stay where I am? No, I don't have to stay, but it was highly recommended and strongly suggested I keep the "good" thing I have going. It started with my father "putting his foot down" when he found out I was moving out last year. Then at the end of the school year, he was all with the "So things are looking good... you don't need to go anywhere. You have your tenure, why lose that and start over wherever you're going?" etc.

You already know mom was upset I moved out last year. It took me flying to Texas for interviews for her to realize I'm really moving on with my life, 3 years after she persuaded me to come home after graduation. But when I was walking down the street in Arlington, she called me and wished me the best cause she knew it was time for me to grow up. Let's see how she takes my pending move to the DMV... it seems like I always have something up my sleeve when she's gone.

Believe it or not, my brother has not been the most supportive of my ideas to move. I'm sure in his head, he's being concerned but with questions like, "So if you move but don't get a job in DC, how will you pay your car note?" (that was the latest, there were tons more when TX was on the horizon), he makes me feel like I'm a dreamer. Maybe I do come off as a dreamer cause I've been talking a big game abt moving every summer. But people don't know what goes on in my head that prevents me from leaving.

Martina said it best once, "I know you like to keep details to yourself so stop me if I'm asking too many questions...". She's right. I've learned to keep certain things to myself. Why? Cause when I talk abt it, it doesn't seem to happen. Remember all that talk of moving back to Tally for grad school? Yeah, the whole neighborhood knew abt it (I only told Stan who told his friend and the rest his history) and it was hell getting questioned abt why I was still in WPB the following school year. "Not enough students applied so they won't be having that major this year." Then the pseudo sympathetic look...ugh.

Whatever the case, despite the haters and even the lovers who really want what's best for me and think it means staying right here, I have a support group of friends near and dear to my heart who have been praying me up. I'm counting on them and myself to make this the year I do ME. I can't stay here for you. I can't help with Koko, I can't join ECW. I can't do faux long distance, I can't be a club sponsor. I can't live with my parents, I can't do City Place. I'm too big for this big village. I love you, WPB but I love me more.

* regarding the women at my church; I speak to all of them, I tolerate many, I like very few.

A Ga Wedding Story

My dad made me type this up for my brother's wedding. He wants a handout at the reception where I think they will actually do this... I've seen it once on a Wedding Story YEARS ago and was geeked! I already knew the procedure but it's been a while and the refresher was cool!

*

The Ga marriage ceremony is where the groom’s family asks the bride’s family for the bride’s hand in marriage in the presence of family, friends, and well wishers. This ceremony as now been adopted by almost all ethnic groups in Ghana and now it is a necessary common rite of marriage for all Ghanaian couples. In Ghana today, some people perform this alone as a marriage ceremony, however most people go on to perform the Western wedding in a church in addition to the traditional marriage ceremony.

Procedure

The ceremony starts with the groom’s family “knocking” (kokooko) on the door of the bride’s family home. The groom’s family is gathered outside the house and waits for permission to enter.

- The groom’s family is given a seat with the groom in the rear of the group.

- The family is offered water to drink.

- The spokesperson of the groom announces his intentions by first asking if they are in the right house. “Is this the house of (bride's name)?”

- The bride’s family responds with, “Yes”.

- A religious official from the bride’s side prays to open the marriage ceremony

- - An elder from the groom’s side prays or pours libation for the same purpose.

The groom’s side presents drinks and presents for the bride and her family.

- The groom’s family poses a question to the bride’s family: “Is your lovely daughter free to be married to our son? She has not been betrothed to anyone, has she?” At this time, the aunties go to the back room where the bride has been and confer with her.

- They ask if she’s ready, explain how momentous the event is, and might even play a little delay tactics to make the groom, “sweat”. When they come from the room, they announce the bride is ready for marriage.

- The DJ begins to play loud, celebratory music

- The same group of women goes back to the room to dress the bride in beautiful attire. They bring her out to her family with music still playing.

- The bride’s family explains what has happened and ask if they can accept the presents on behalf of her.

- A male member of the bride’s family takes the bride hands and places them in the hands of the male leader of the groom’s family.

- He will then tell the groom’s family “we have given our daughter to you, promise to take care of her.” The male will go on to brag about the bride. “She is well fed, well educated, no scars, bumps, or bruises. She’s happy and drop dead gorgeous.”

- The groom’s family accepts the bride and also promises the bride’s family that she is in the right hands, in the right family. At this time, the male can brag about his family and their accomplishments.

- The groom comes from the back of the group and joins hands with his bride. They hug and kiss. They make rounds and greet people as a couple.

- Then the party really begins!

*

Sounds like a plan to me!

angst

that's what i'm feeling right now. i'm in that mode where i wish i could just crawl into a black hole and hide till everything bothering me disappears.

can i be that ostrich that sticks its head in the ground? i really, really wanted to do that yesterday.

if i don't see it, it doesn't exist, right? is that way it works? no? can we make it work that way?

i don't know what's up with my psyche. i have issues. my ups and downs (more specifically my downs) are making me take notice.

are my hormones out of whack?

am i that bored that i'm driving myself crazy?

is music really that bad that i actually curse several times a day whenever i hear drake/nikki/alicia/wayne?

i want to go back to being a little girl and having everything taken care of. i don't want to take care of me anymore. i don't want to pay bills, i don't even want to work.

maybe that's what it is. that's where this anxiety is coming from. i don't know where i'll be in a few weeks. will i be in dc? i'm sure i will be but dc is not going to make me 8 years old again. will i be in wpb? i would rather not work than go back to that school.

i have to squeeze in all my doctors appts these last few weeks cause if i do move, i'll be without insurance for a lil minute. not cool, especially since i'm going up north.

man. too much to do and think about. and i'm on vacay. i don't think i need all this time to myself.

i just need a sabbatical.

30's the New 20?

Why something always got be the new-new? Can't we just appreciate where we are? Maybe even take it back? Why come Jay Zee turned 40 so now it's the new 30? Is 30 where it's at? And when Drew turned 30 the other day, why did a 34 y.o we dined with say, "It's the new 20!"?

Did I miss a memo?

Was 20 the hauteness?

Now don't get me wrong, I'd LOVE to re-live my college days, all 2,555 of them. (Well, not alllll of them.) But when Niko (RJ's new boo) made the aforementioned statement, I was INSTANTLY taken back to 2002.

*

Okay, I turned 20 in May of 2002 so sophomore year was clearly over. I just gotten word I'd be attending FAMU with my brother who just graduated from Suncoast High. In May of 2002, I got my 2nd tattoo, a star on where I guess would be an ovary. Summer 2002, my family and I drove to Hampton to get my things out of storage. I left a note for Martina and BB on a trunk. I really think we drove back to Florida without a word coming out of my mouth.

Summer 2002, the guy I was dealing with starts to show his ass. We go back and forth via snail mail. (LMMFAO) I don't even remember what was said but I come thisclose to telling him, "That's why you weren't my first like I said you were." But I knew I wouldn't be coming back to HU and I didn't want him talking iSht about me while I wasn't there. He stamps, affirms, and confirms my decision to not make my first person anyone special. I could only imagine how I would've felt if he WAS my first. Someone would've had had to die. And it wasn't going to be me.

Fall 2002, first semester at FAMU... interesting. "Does anyone have class here?" Not taking a class but social class.

One thing I did notice was how openly Greek stuff was here. EVERYTHING was claimed with two colors and two years. I thought that was cool.

I shared a townhouse with two chicks I've known forever but mostly from Suncoast. We had lots of fun. Some trying times of course but more fun like making up dance routines and watching the Best man EVERYDAY. We were also walking distance to campus. I dated a guy who was the equivalent of a Student Leader at Hampton. We went to football games together with Kim and her BF (now husband). Dee marched in the 100.

I went to an Oil Spill with Kitty and fell on the ground a lot. I wasn't drunk, there was just hella liq on the floor. Not cool. I NEVER want to fall at parties and look like "that chick". Kitty got bit in the ass. We got barked at and guerilla-style dry humped. My car got broken into and all my CDs were gone. DEVASTATED. I then decided "I don't like Ques." They weren't like the ones at Hampton. FAMU Ques were beyond nasty and uncouth. and the ones from Florida State were extra hype. I assumed they had to prove themselves cause they're crossed at a PWI. Oh Lord, there's a white one too. He wins the title for Too Hype.

Parties at FAM are called Cosmos, short for Cosmopolitans. No one knew what I was talking about when I said I wanted to go to Cabs, short for Cabarets. Oh well, they were fun either way.

Football games are BEYOND a blast at my new school. OMG, the band is the greatest. and I know a lot of people in the band so I make special requests. It's so cool to know so many people from home. I feel like I can be myself. But in classes where I don't know anyone, I'm seen as the bourgie chick. I think it's cause I intro myself as a transfer from Hampton university. well, that's what I was! I'm torn. I hated the pretentiousness of HU, the "keeping up appearances" the full out accepting of being bourgie. You don't have to be stuck up/stank to have class. People were full of themselves at HU. But then I get to FAM and the ghettoness has me shaking my head at every turn. Where am I? Where do I belong? I didn't make any new friends.

Christmas comes, EVERYONE is home. I love not having to catch US Air to come home. I HATED that airline. My hair is long again.

Spring 2003

I'm still 20. The Student Leader I was dating ships out on Valentine's Day. He's in the reserves. I meet the whole family when we go to St. Pete the week before. Cool, his mom ADORES me.

Classes happen, I have a 3.8 gpa, I'm an education major and I love it. I visit my beloved Hampton for CC's bday in February. OMG, I MISS ALLL MY HOMIES! IT'S SO COOL TO BE AROUND PEOPLE WHO DON'T THINK YOU'RE BOURGIE, BUT NORMAL!!

Basketball games are okay... they're in the gym so I feel a bit claustrophobic. HU played in the convocation center which hosted concerts and other big events. Am I really sitting on wooden bleachers like I'm in highschool? Oh well, the Pep Band is great so I have fun.

It's spring time so probates are happening left and right. Virgil crossed Kappa. Everyone is at his probate but I'm on the phone with SL's WIFEY. Yes, the guy I was dating has a main chick. I call Deanne and she can't understand a word I'm saying cause I'm wailing on the phone. She was also at Virgil's probate. She thought I was dying of pain or something. My heart was breaking as if it was made of poorly made glass. It's a bad time for me. I cut my hair for the 2nd time in my life. I look like a Supreme and I love it.

The end of March brings a wonderful party to my life. The Illustrious Champagne Sip. Kitty and I attend our first one Spring 2003. THEE best party EVER. EVAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRR! We get dressed up in ball gowns and drink champagne all night? So there. We had no idea how loose it would get. But loose in a good way, not in a Champagne Sip 2004 way. *whew!*

April comes and goes. Exams and graduation come and go. School's out, "summer" is here. SL is still calling me, trying to make things work. I answer the calls as part of my American duty to boost the morale of our military but the feeling is gone. I'm like a hollow heart when it comes to love at this time. One day he calls while I'm at Kitty's and I start fake crying to make him feel bad. I remember why I was dubbed Ms. Drama freshman year at Hampton. He starts crying. But I don't think he's faking. I end with, "Don't call me anymore! Call Shay! *click*" Then, a guy in her section (french horn) who I had been eyeing on stops by and I get him. My motto for the year? "Fcuk the World, literally."*

So that was 20 for me. If 30 is going to be the 2.0 version of that, I'll pass.

*so even though Kitty and I said we were going to fcuk the world, we didn't. *LMAO* I didn't crush on anyone again till the end of Spring 2004.

Birthday Boy

If y'all know me, you know I make a big deal out of my birthday. If you know Drew, you know he doesn't.


But, if you REALLY know Drew, you'd know he doesn't MIND if someone makes a big deal out of his birthday.

I learned this little thing abt him last year when I was going crazy trying to find an immersion blender for Jameil. There he was moping and wondering what all the fuss was about. I had to get him right on together and tell him, "I make fuss for people who like fuss. Me and Jameil LOVE are birthdays and we make a big deal out of them! Does Target have an iFone app, find me a blender."

Whatever the case, I decided for his 30th, I'd make a 'fuss' over him.

On Tuesday, I told him, "Take a shower at 1230 and wait for me to pick you up". At 1250, I was in front of his place and we were off. He had no idea where we were going. Once we got to Aventura Mall, I told him, "We're getting married today! Go to Macy's and pic out your ring and get fitted for a suit!" When his face didn't show utter and extreme joy, I told him, "Calm down, we're just picking out your band. I'm going to get it for you." We walked thru Macie's when I "realized" we were in the wrong one. "Aa man, we need to go to Men's Macie's! That's on the other side of the mall, isn't it? Well, let's go!"

I'm dragging him across the mall when we get to the Art of Shaving. *Scrrrrrrrrrrr!* "Just kidding! You're getting a shave and haircut!" He started smiling but then the manager ruined it. "Your appt was for 1pm, it's 115. The barber has another appt and he may have to rush. If he doesn't do a good job, it's cause he has another client coming in."

ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW? WHO SAYS THAT!?!?

Drew turned to leave saying, "I don't want a bad rush job." and I make a deal. "OKay, skip the haircut, can you do a good job with the beard trim/shave?" Now it was the barber's turn to get huffy.

"I am a professional. I only do good work. Nothing I do is rushed"

Whatever. let your mgr tell it...



I walked around the area for a little while then went back. Drew's eyes were closed so I sat in the room and watched the barber do his thing. Soooooooooooooooooooooooooo coooooool! I was smiling and enjoying the show when my brother decides to call. The t-mobile ringtone shot Drew's eyes open! "Daaaaaaaaaah" I muttered and tip-toed out. I pressed 'ignore' but we already lost that meditative feeling. I call Stanley and he just wanted to know what Kitty and RJ thought of his house. See, I took them there the night before. My brother needed affirmation. So cute.

I walk some more and go back to see Drew is finished. His cheeks are rosy and his beard is SHARP! All the fine creams and lotions and tonics and extracts... grapeseed lily flower blossom, japanese palm frond, eucalyptus thorn mush, I don't know!


We walk the mall and I gave him the seersucker shorts he had been eyeing, then we go to a cool sneaker store, check out arden b and then we're out. I stop by holefoods to get some groceries but their prices were killing me. I couldn't even get down like that, I grab watercress and sage. for the rest, Publix it is.

We get back home and i realize I bought broccoli rabe instead of watercress.

DAAAAAAMN YOU HOLEFOOOOOOODS!!!!!!!!! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!

And oh, it is so bitter! nuffin i could do with that! my shrimp w/o roasted tomatoes or watercress salad was looking more like beans and sage. not awesome. although, i did use sun dried tomatoes... meh. i was still pissed abt the rabe.

(tbc)

Shello!

So I'm chilling in the NC; one summer trip down... EAST MECK, IT'S ON DA MAP!

Got my hair done yesterday, woo woo, can't wait to see it unwrapped today!

We surprised the hell out of Jameil's mom and it was great! I LOOOOVE surprises! Mini Me surprised Pops for Father's Day and it was AWESOME!

Jam and I are catching up with a Hampton Homie (the best kind of homie, don't you think?) this evening and I'm excited! Plus, there are two more on tap! Come onnnn, BK and AC!

The minute I land in Ft. Lauderdale (3pm, 7/4/2010) I'm getting ready for a 4th of July Yacht party with Kitty and RJ! Can you say excited? The yacht leaves at 6pm from... The Port of Miami!! Aaaaaaahhhh! Man, we had a yacht party last year (see: rick ross themed pool party) at Kitty's parents' house. This year? We on a futhermuckin boat. Let the unlimited champagne flow!

My next plane trip will be to DC. For what? An in person interview with DC Public schools! Woo, woo! They liked my application and statement, said I did phenomenal during my phone interview, and now want to see me in action. I have to prepare a 10 minute mini lesson, analyze a case study and bring proof of growth. I don't know how that last one is going to work cause any formal assessments I gave are locked in a vault at school. How will that work? "hi, I need to get a running record book out the vault for a job interview. I know I have one here but I don't want it and I won't say anything till a new job is secure which is why I need this running record book... don't tell the principal."

So my move out date is Aug 1. That's like, tomorrow. My interview is 7/27... that means ima have to start moving back to Spencer Lakes the minute I step off the boat. OMG, overwhelmed doesn't begin to describe. Maybe not overwhelmed but confused? That's more my speed. Whirlwind. I have no idea what the next step is going to be. The only certain in the equation right now is I have an interview and I have to move out.

Uhhh, I think that's bout it! I'll holla at y'all later!

Estoy Aqui

I'm in Tally getting transcripts so I can get on with my life, OMG, why is my alma mater charging me $10 for one?!?!?!?!?!?!?! i just can't believe that!!! What happened to $5?!??! MAAAAAAAYBE $8?? TEN dollars is just plain rude and very inconsiderate. I know we in a reccession, but damn.

I took Tima to the shelter. I couldn't take her anymore. In my old age, i've become neater and neater. She was simply too messy for me. I like to come home to a clean place and clean it even more WHEN I WANT TO. She was making me do too much. And summer is here, she would've put salt in my travelling game. I felt horrendous but i knew it was for the best for both of us. Someone is going to get an energetic puppy and I get to go wherever I want for as long as I want.

I decided I want to have a drink every day of summer vacay and possibly get drunk. It sounds like fun, especially since I didn't use my college days wisely in that respect. 10am sounds like a fun time to start sippin on asti, what do you think?

Speaking of drinking, i've CORRECTLY calcuated the number of times I was throw-up drunk: 4. i forgot SUM '04 when I was road tripping all over Florida. Oh yes, the house party in Orlando had me feeling like i was in a wave pool. and I got sea-sick in the bushes.

I found an e-mail I sent Jameil last year and I'm strangely on track with what I planned for my life. I'll explain 'strangely' later.

I HAVE to do a lot of moving and shaking this summer. I need a trip to ATL, DFW, DC, NC, BAL, NYC, LAS before August 15, 2010. And if I can use my passport between now and back to school, I will consider my 30 before 30 accomplished. I know, that's only 1 before 30 but I don't have lofty goals in the summer, sue me.

Jameil has pointed out that ONLY when I'm with my friend Kitty, does utter foolishness occur. SO TRUE. You have no idea how many emails I've sent Jam from my phone abt what me and Kit have gotten into. Harmless fun like hopping stone walls to hunt mangoes to "are we gonna going to jail?" popping up in my mind whilst we were driving thru GA. I can't imagine how our lives would've been if we were white girls at a PWI.

Oh, a 30 before 30 just popped into my mind, I may have shared it with you already: catch a Dallas game IN Dallas. I think I want to pop my NFL experience cherry with a Cowboys game... yeah, that'll be an AWESOME first time. Then I can have an orgasm in the store... again. Y'all have no idea how buck wild I went in there in Feb... it was like eating the best sushi in the most fabulous hotel room and then jet-setting to Fashion Week in Paris and having an afterparty on a yacht.

*I JUST SHARED MY DEEPEST FANASTY WITH Y'ALL*

Anyway, I'm bout to go to campus and print some papers. I'll holllllllla!

I've always had a thing for V-A...

Arlington Public Schools

Alexandria City Public Schools

DC Public Schools

Fairfax County Schools




All have been tediously applied to so now I register and study for the Praxis and keep this momentum going! Woo!


"Oh let's do it!"

New Plans

As you may or may not know, I considered bailing on Texas because the application process seemed so tedious and expensive. It took the admonishing of DaniQ for me to realize I need to get back in the game and make my dreams come true. They aren't going to appear before my eyes, I have to put in work and in addition to grace from God, it'll happen.

After further consideration, I decided I will finish the Arlington application process but I will also look intothe DMV. Yeah, ill apply to Arlington, VA as well. I spoke with my fave uncle in Springfield, VA and he's all for it. If I can't find a place to stay, I am welcome in his home. He said he'll tell Fave Aunt (Auntie A) and she's going to be excited.

So I guess I'm moving to Va?? Pray me up for this please. I feel like this will be a better and wiser step for me at this point.

June 1

June 1st was my Godfather's funeral. This was the first one I was involved in emotionally and literally. If you remember about 5 years back, I went to my first funeral ever. It was the grandmother like figure in the guy I was dating's life. We drove to Alabama from Tally, I met the fam, I thought I was in there. Y'all might remember how that turned out.

The next funeral I attended was one of an old lady at my church. My brother was more attached to her than I was.

The last one was last March. It was my Godsister's Godmother. She was the Hamptonian who died from breast cancer. I boo-hooed at that funeral because her daughter was a junior in high school and her mom wasn't there to help her get ready for Prom or see her graduate this year. It was such a sad, sad, funeral!

But Godfather's was sad in a different way. Even though I didn't cry AS MUCH, the tears were definitely more personal. Hearing people come up to speak abt Godfather actually made me smile and nod in agreement. It was when the church choir sang a medley of the songs Godfather loved that got me slumped in my seat. Luckily, I was sitting next to my brother and he put his arm around me. I started crying and singing along with the choir. Those songs were songs I like to sing as well. Another time was when my oldest Godsister sang, "The Greatest Luv of All"... man, that song hits your heart no matter the occassion; or maybe just mine cause it feel like it should be every teacher's song.

When the pallbearers stood up to carry Godfather out, the whole family stood as well. The minute my brother and Godbrother grabbed the casket, I fell back into my seat hysterical. It was like the whole thing was just a forum on how great Godfather was but to see 12 men (yes, twelve), all who I know and 2 I'm very close with lift that rose gold coffin... it was too much. My Godfather is in there! He's really gone! He's not just sick and in his room resting! He's resting forever! Too much!

The ladies of the family followed the men with the flowers. Me, other Spencer Lakers, and friends of Godsisters' wiped our tears and left the church with glorious white lilies, roses, and mums. As I was walking out, I was not surprised but lovingly amazed at all the familiar faces I saw in the church and outside. What was really comforting was all the classmates we had who were in attendance. The guys from our highschool's GDP were there and some of their mothers. I've known some of them since elementary school and the others since freshman year and we are all pretty much one big family but it was still nice to see and hug them.

The ceremony at the memorial gardens... the actual placement of Godfather in the mausoleum (that's the wall, right?), seeing the immediate family place roses on his casket before it was fitted into and sealed forever...? The roughest. I've never been the the gravesite before. It's so... final. I was sobbing in the arms of a Spencer Laker and Stanley was crying behind his shades with his fiance holding him... man.

The repast was a lighter mood, I caught up with a 99er who's in med school and chatted it up with his mom who I've known forever. Just found out she's a Rattler! Mostly everyone present had some form of FAMU nalia on their car and I heard someone talk about The Moon (a club everyone goes to). Nice dinner then we left to rest. I tried to take a nap but the time escaped me. It was time to go back to the house. People were eating, drinking, smoking cigars, playing music and dominoes... a nice atmosphere. I caught up with another Spencer Laker/99er who's doing the music thing. We talked and talked. It was nice. He shared with me the death of his oldest sister and what Godfather was on the other side of the hospital door literally with open arms for him to cry in. It was the first and only time he cried for her.

The time came for me to leave, I had to go to work, it was the 2nd to last day of school. I should've called in cause apparently, I looked as bad as I felt. Oh well, that's life and death.

I plan on going to Godparents' house today. Now that the week has passed and everyone is gone, I'm sure she'd appreciate the quiet company.

Update

hey y'all.

I'm here. I'm reading. Just don't feel like posting. But here's an update.

My mom is going to Ghana for 3 months. She leaves tomorrow.

My brother bought a house.

I'm now 28 years old.

I got my professional contract (tenure).

The school year is almost over (15 school days).

I'm going car shopping with my dad this Friday.

Tima is getting better.

I'm feeling a down swing coming up.

One of my first college friends lost her mother Monday.

I need to get a move on with Texas. FAM, needs my 1st born dipped in the blood of Christ before I can get a transcript short of driving up to Tally myself.

Drew got me earrings.

I haven't cooked in over 2 weeks. Well, I kinda cooked when Jam was here. It was more like team cooking. Gotta get over that. Take-out adds up.

I need new music.

and that's bout it.

Red vs Blue

Remember *hyperlink, click "post"* this post? How I was sooooo perturbed by this guy's decision? Well this morning, I went on FB and noticed a fellow teacher associate of mine had as her status, the names of republican representatives and senators who voted for SB6. She also mentioned the republican reps and senators who voted AGAINST it. Then she linked an article to a republican's letter to the people of why she didn't support SB6.

I told her I like that idea and I was going to copy and paste her statuses and make a note on my page. But then I wanted more.

I didn't want to be the person who only blasted one side for a decision. I asked if she listed both sides, "I want EVERYBODY who voted for SB6! Pubs and Dems!" Before she got a chance to reply, I went to the FLGOV site myself and looked up the bill and how the votes went. I copied and pasted the names in a note then deleted the names of people who voted 'N'. I didn't look to see which party the politician belonged to, I just wanted the Yes Wo/Men

Here's the FB convo between me and the republican teacher.

AvK: did you only list republicans who voted for/against SB6? I want EVERYBODY! Pubs and Dems!

LRL: this site lists everyone in senate and house who voted FOR (you wont find any dems bc all dems voted AGAINST sb6)

AvK: Yeah, I wanted to be fair in my note and get everyone who voted for the bill. The politicians spoke for themselves.

Thanks for the spark, L. I hope your actions and my subsequent one will get people informed of who's making (or attempting to make) decisions for them.

*

I'm a democrat. I was raised by democrats and voted democrat in 2000 b/c that's what I was "supposed" to do. As I got older and actually start paying attention to parties and their tenets, I hold fast to being a democrat. I don't understand a party that doesn't seem to have a shred of human decency. I don't understand how being "fiscally responsible" can and often gets in the way of what's RIGHT.

How DARE you create a case to decrease education funding and then complain that the United States is at the bottom of the education world standings?

How dare you lobby to rid advanced degree pay? So... you're not going to give me more 'pennies' (cause that's all we're making) to become a better teacher?

When did it become okay to get rid of tenure? Are you telling me job security is a thing of the past? I understand getting rid of the old teachers who are taking up space and money but what about the good ones who are looking to work for the long haul? There has to be a better way to flush out old, ineffective teachers. I cannot and will not work on a year-to-year basis. Especially when that annual contract is based on gains.

Speaking of gains, if you base pay on gains, what will you do for the teachers at schools who have and maintain As? Their effort to keep a good grade goes without fanfare? Then on the opposite end of that spectrum, what abt those impoverished schools who are already lacking in EVERYTHING (good teachers, supplies, resources, FUNDING)? No gains there so no money for those teachers who are there? Yeah, merit pay sounds good in theory but it just doesn't work in the real world. Not when there are COUNTLESS factors that go into a STUDENT. Parental (or lack of) support and socio-economic status are two of many that determine what really goes on in the classroom.

My next point, like the 1st generation artist wanna be who voted for McCan't, how can you as a teacher support a party that doesn't support you?

It's just really funny how politicians make these decisions. It's funnier how we let them.

Team Aiden

when I went to DFW in Feb, we talked several times. Of course, he was trying to come over and be Mr. Big to my Carrie. Specifically, that flashback scene she has of her and Big when they started their affair. yeah, I wasn't really feeling that. I think I may have led him on but I wanted to see what lengths he'd go to see me. Oh he was trying. The whole time I was there, we didn't see each other till I was on my way to the airport. He sat in the lobby till my driver came and we parted ways with a hug. When I got in the car, he text me,

"How come you didn't want to see me?"

I replied, "It's not that I didn't want to see you, I didn't want to see you the way you wanted to see me. Yo, that was 5 years ago. We aren't the same people. We were carefree college students. Now, we're adults in relationships. Why mess around for a faded memory?"

"Cause that memory was awesome. Yeah, we're different, but our passion might be the same"

"Really? Booooo... you know we can't really stand each other, right? We don't see eye-to-eye on ANYTHING. The only thing that could make you more opposite of me is if you're tall and white"

"Oh, like your boy? I would think you'd like that."

"You're funny, FB stalker. Anyway, I'll be back. We'll see what happens next time"

Next time was last week. I didn't let him know I was in town. He sent me a message on FB

"When you coming back to Texas?"

I didn't want to tell him I was in his state not even 48 hours ago...

"When I take my TX cert exam"

"Oh, I thought you were coming for another UTA visit, just checking"

Damn. UTA is so not on my agenda anymore. should reply with, "naw" but instead, I said

"I had an interview Saturday morning and I left the same day"

"Wow- like my bday Saturday? u ain't right"

I knew it was his birthday. and I thought about calling or texting but he doesn't call or text or even FB me on my birthday! and plus he's part of nat'l a-hole day. i don't like 4/10

"1. I was here for business. 2. you didn't invite me to your birthday party. happy belated 3. I'm always right"

that was a jab at our last text convo. he snapped at me over some paradigm isht. I told him if anything, we're both right but I'm def not wrong. Again, the bumping of the heads.

"I didn't know you'd be here. u be on that bs. it was never confirmed that you were coming"

are you mad? don't be mad.

"If I knew something was going on, I would've stayed longer"

I really think I would've. nah, I had to come home and take care of FaTima sooner than later.

"If I knew u were coming you would've know. you know what? you got it. i'ma let it go"

finally. he "broke up" with me. nothing more to say, besides,

"yep."

I actually feel good that he's removed himself. Him being in the back of my mind, wondering if we could re-live '04-'06 was #notagoodlook. The random texts, the trips to TX that could've been very detrimental to my psyche...

He's in the past for a reason. I'm just PRAYING he won't become my Aiden in the desert.

Birthday List... *UPDATED*

*sung like Jer-uh-my*

well, I got the entire collection of SATC for Christmas (thx, Jameil!!) and the movie for my birthday (thx, Jameil!!!) so that's off the list!! WOO HOO! I LOVE that show!

I got the 1st season of gossip gurl on iToons and I'm sure Drew will get the rest for me. That show is soooo good! I don't know what it is, but I love it! Maybe cause it shows the other side of that upper east side lifestyle; the Nate and Serena side. Everyone is not Chuck.

I have my boots and 'brella (thx dani and shayne). OMG, I feel so fab when I have the two together! Can't tell me NUFFIN when it rains!!!

I have my gray uggz (dreezy. we won't go into that one).

and I have enough beautiful stationary to last me for a while.

So what's left on my list?

you can never go wrong with VS Pink FAMU gear

MJJ tees. (I almost fainted at the price of the custom one I got in ATL)

anything Juicy Couture

a book considered a "classic". from the old (war & piece) to the modern (tar baby).

or world lit

CDs I would've bought circa 1993-2000

an adidas track fit

air max 95, (size 7 in women's or 5.5 in big kids)

almost anything with my name or an "S" on it.

iToons/publix/xpress/narnes and boble gift card

DVDs of my favorite TV shows: Dextr, Arrestd Developmnt, Law & Oarder/SVU, Cozby Show, (is Modern Family available yet?), The Offiss, and I'm sure there are some more I can't think of right now.

a new altima. (might as well put it on there. someone might win the lottery!)

Now if you know me and can think of something that's not on the list, gon 'head!!

It's Been a Long Time

As my g-male update-twitter pre-cursor thingy states, I'm "plotting"...

How can I get out of the school I don't like working at?

How can I get out from under my mother's ever present thumb?

How can I get out of a town I was born and raised in?

How can I get out of a state that passed a bill that affect my profession and livelihood?

How can I get to the state I've been dreaming of since 2005?

Well, I took initiative and had a job interview with Arlington ISD. I think it went well. I'm a person who takes signs and symbolism very seriously and the lady who interviewed me come from a school where the mascot is the Bee. The mini alcove that leads to my room has a beehive and 19 bees buzzing around it (busy bee classroom). My bulletin board is bee-filled. I'm sure that's a good sign.

Another thing I've been plotting is my birthday. Y'all know I love my birthday. I said Vegas a couple weeks ago but that has been put on the back burner. We're doing my favorite city in Florida, MIAMI!!!

I've reserved a fabulous hotel and made a tentative schedule for me and my Fave 5, three which are blogger fam! manis, pedis, sushi, pool, beach, drinks, ceviche... all that! 28 is going to be Great!

*I want another slogan for 28. Y'all get on it, please and thank-you*

Speaking of plotting, let me just let y'all in on what Lyds has up her sleeve. She wants to talk to Drew. Tell him pick up the pace. i think she thinks if I get a ring, I won't go to texas. I know that's the bottom line for her, me not going too far. Oh well. I've been here for what seem slike forever and have been longing for TX so if I do get a ring, I'll be planning a wedding from the Fun Capital of the Lone Star State, Arlington. Shoot, I might make it a "destination" wedding, while you playing... (based on the strict def of dest. wedding... a place where guests have to travel 100 miles or more to attend).

So, that's what's been up. TTYL!

Closet Purge

I've been a very good girl. I've gotten rid of clothes I don't want to wear and shoes that hurt my feet. I realized I buy things cause the cost is too good to let go, but what is it really worth if I wear it once? Yeah the shoes are more than fabulous but do I have to absolutely curse myself out EVERY.SINGLE.TIME I wear them? and promise my feet, "If you get me to the car, I promise I'll never wear these again, I beg you."?

Clothes-wise, I got rid of adult tees. Specifically, Benoyst Farms tees. I don't plan on being there next year (I have a job interview with Arlington Independent School District in April!!!) and I never liked the shirts anyway. I really shouldn't have a million tees; all different colors. I guess when your official colors are mint and rust, there's nothing you can do paraphenalia wise...

I also got rid of a lot of Forever 21 dresses. They SCREAM "college student". That halter dress made by Polly and Ester? Not my friend. If I'm going to a club where that dress/fabric is appropro, shoot me.

I got rid of some straw stuff I used to be in love with. OMG, bags, shoes, hats... there is one hat I kept; I giant sunhat with a pink tiger lily tied to it. I'm keeping and using that one this year!

Shoes. Dear sweet shoes. I donated two Meve Staddens that I knew were too small but had to have anyway. I don't have navy blue shoes! I had to get those to match with the one navy fitted tee I own! Yeah, I wore them ONCE and didn't even make it thru writing block (8-835am). The other pair was my black pumps with the chrome heel. Those shoes were BAAAAAD. But those are also the ones that have me cursing at myself. I (stupidly) wore them to the club one time... I know I was that person I make fun of, the one who looks like her life will end if she has to take one more step in the shoes she's wearing. I was able to get more than one wear out of those. I actually got a lot of wear out of them. I'd wear them to school, take them off in the classroom and wear them in the hallway, holla.

The last pair of shoes I gave up were some white on white shell toes. but the white wasn't so white anymore. But, I'm not like fat.jose; I don't get rid of shoes once they touch the ground. I've had these joints for a couple of years. The shell-toe part was damn near yellow. Nope, gotta go.

Now I'm at a crossroads. I have a dark gray, zip-up, princess sleeve jean jacket from the GAP. I haven't worn it in a couple of years but it's denim. You don't toss denim, do you? Especially not GAP denim. paris blues and LEI from highschool, yes. Classic GAP and Levis, I think not.

Now since I'm getting rid of clothes and shoes, it's only appropriate I replace them, right?? Hee, hee. I bought 3 dresses and a pair of shoes. a black wrap dress, a white and silver mod dress with pockets, and a sunshine yellow a-line dress. the shoes are some patent leather joints that were on sale. oh yeah! Now for some sneakers...

Bet.

So what days are you free? You wanna try Tampa or Orlando for Spring Break?

Well, I'm playing Friday night, Saturday evening, and Tuesday night. I have studio work Monday and Wednesday. Let's plan for Thursday- Saturday.

Maaaaan! What am I supposed to do till Thursday?!!?

I don't know! That's on you! It's your Spring Break!

*light bulb*

And there it is. You are absolutely right. I'll talk to you later, bye.

End Call

It was another one of those moments when I realized I'm planning my life, even something as insignificant as Spring Break, around him. It was another moment where he, unintentionally, gave me a wake-up call. And now I'm mad I can't go anywhere fantabulous lest I pay upwards of $479 dollars. But poor planning on my part doesn't call for an emergency on kayak's part. I now must re-group my plans, as usual.

Randoms

One of my children wrote down what his homie told him about a girl in my class. "Jermaine said you are sexse."

1. What do you know about "sexse"? How old are you that you used that word for a classmate???

2. Should I've reminded him about the trailing 'y' and how it sounds like 'ee'? i.e. "sunnY", "cloudY", "StaceY"?

3. I wonder how I should've responded... I don't talk sex with 5 y.o.

*

Real talk, I thought I was going to get a ring this weekend. Drew made a big deal out of going to UM this weekend and got a hotel room at the most magnificent hotel I've ever been in, The Mayfair (waaaaaaaaaay prettier in person!)... for apparently no reason. But here's the kicker, when we checked out and got back to his place, he held my hand and said, "I'm looking for a stone for your ring."

*blink blink*

*

Tima is starting to grow on me. Bump that, she has grown on me. I was sooooooooooooo ready to give her back! But guess who REALLY likes her?? Mom Dukes! Little does she know, she's getting her!

*

I talk a big game about growing my hair but I reeeeeeallly like it "short". I'm starting to think the longest I'll grow it is chin-length. A graduated bob with the gentlest layers in the back sounds too chic! I can do the sleek look, I can do the roller wrap wavy look... I'm a fan!

Speaking of hair, my sister cut hers off. She really needed to. Her nape has not grown since her Sweet 16 when she first glued tracks to it. yeah. And if you know Mini Me, she STAYS with some weave in her hair; it never got a chance for fresh hair or a chance to rest. We shall see how long this will last.

*

It hit me that if I still lived with my parents, I would be more than able to afford a new car. Like, an actual new car. I'd never buy a brand new car but if I wanted to, I could've. My rent alone takes two car payments. Then there's my ortho bill, cell phone, car insurance, and utilities. I need a two income household.

*

Drew and I spent most of the weekend in Dade County. I so want to live there. While driving to UM, we looked at the pretty mediterranean houses and admired every last one. Then while on the topic, I asked if he wanted to own a house. He said yeah, so I asked why. He couldn't think of a reason. Then he was like, "Why DO we have to own a house? It's a nice idea but whose nice idea was it that it has to be ours?" My thoughts exactly. But, I do want a yard for children to play in wiffle ball in. And a driveway to put up a basketball goal. And the idea of renting a house sounds weird. Maybe when our first born turns 5, we'll buy a house. At the rate we're going, I'll holla at a mortgage at 40.

*

I watched '16 & Preg.nant' for the first time this weekend. Wow. Wow.

Two Faces

I'm having a hard time with this situation/teacher at school. She's a brand-new teacher. Didn't even go thru a teacher program so she had NO idea what was going on. Now, she has it down pat and is doing a pretty good job. Here's my issue:

Because she's new, I told her to move into the empty classroom adjacent to mine. It made sense for her to be next to an experienced teacher her first year. Cool. She peeks her head into my classroom whenever she has a question, her class may come into mine to watch me model a lesson, etc.

What gets on my nerves is when she asks for my help, I give it to her and she goes behind my back and asks someone else. For example:

She wasn't feeling well and wanted to take last Friday off. Wednesday night, she was texting me like crazy about how to put in for a sub. I told her we'll do it together on Thursday. 630 Thursday morning, she started with the texts. Again, I told her we'll do it when we get to school. I promise you I was in the parking lot when I got 3 more texts. I ignored them. Went inside, set my things down and she peeks her head in my classroom.

"Can we do the sub thing now?"

"Didn't I say I will help you?"

"Yes."

"Well then calm down, I am here."

We go thru the steps and now it's time to pick a sub. The one she wants already has a job so I tell her not to worry, there are tons of people looking to substitute. All you need to worry about is creating the absence for yourself so someone can take the job. I give her the sub I always use and we create the job. The screen reads, "Job Creation Successful!" Yay!

Why every hour, she asks me if my sub has taken the job yet?

"How will I know if Mrs. G takes the job?"

"You don't. All you have to worry about is creating your absence. They can send in Hannibal. It has nothing to do with you. All subs have to go thru the same process so you can rest assured you'll get someone decent. You can't control which sub takes the job. You can hope Mrs. G gets it but what will you do if she doesn't? Are you going to come in a teach when you can't even talk? Stop thinking about it, you've done all you can do."

The next hour, she came in to ask if there is possibly, some way to check on the status of her job creation. I told her, "I honestly don't want to hear about it. You need to stop worrying about it. It's not that serious. You will be gone for ONE day. Guess who will be okay? Everyone but you. Chill.Out."

Come Friday, we're all standing outside for dismissal and I make a comment about how nervous she was about making an absence. Why did another teacher chime in with, "Really? Around lunch yesterday, she asked me if she can check who gets her class. I told her you can't control who gets your class."

*blink blink*

So... you didn't believe me when I told you YOU CAN'T CONTROL WHO GETS YOUR CLASS!?! Oh my gosh, you know who was worried about the wrong thing!?!?

Second example.

Her sick leave form. Luckily, our sec'y fills out the form and all we have to do is check it over, sign and back date it. She asks me before our learning team meeting starts.

"This was in my mailbox. What am I supposed to do with it?"

"Check it over, make sure the date of your absence is correct and it's under paid leave. Sign it, make a copy and give it back to the sec."

An hour later, when we're pretty much done with our meeting and just milling around, I hear her ask another teacher, "Hey, what am I supposed to do with this?"

Word??

FACE.

Today was the last straw. Come to find out, she always asks me but then goes back and asks someone else. I understand wanting a second opinion on something things but I'm not diagnosing you with cancer. It's a fcuking form. Sign it, date it. Return it. If you don't believe ANYTHING I say, please stop asking me. It's really unnerving to me that you have to double-check EVERYTHING I tell you. And you know what, it's not even like I'm telling you. You're asking me. I have no shame either. If I don't know something, I will say, "You know what? I'm not sure. Let's go ask Mrs. Hershire." Boom, no big deal. I tried to reason with myself and think, "she just wants to double check cause that's the kind of person she is". Well, that kind of person doesn't need to ask me anymore questions.