angst

that's what i'm feeling right now. i'm in that mode where i wish i could just crawl into a black hole and hide till everything bothering me disappears.

can i be that ostrich that sticks its head in the ground? i really, really wanted to do that yesterday.

if i don't see it, it doesn't exist, right? is that way it works? no? can we make it work that way?

i don't know what's up with my psyche. i have issues. my ups and downs (more specifically my downs) are making me take notice.

are my hormones out of whack?

am i that bored that i'm driving myself crazy?

is music really that bad that i actually curse several times a day whenever i hear drake/nikki/alicia/wayne?

i want to go back to being a little girl and having everything taken care of. i don't want to take care of me anymore. i don't want to pay bills, i don't even want to work.

maybe that's what it is. that's where this anxiety is coming from. i don't know where i'll be in a few weeks. will i be in dc? i'm sure i will be but dc is not going to make me 8 years old again. will i be in wpb? i would rather not work than go back to that school.

i have to squeeze in all my doctors appts these last few weeks cause if i do move, i'll be without insurance for a lil minute. not cool, especially since i'm going up north.

man. too much to do and think about. and i'm on vacay. i don't think i need all this time to myself.

i just need a sabbatical.