Twits

I swear there is NOTHING better than watching (or not watching) an awards show on Twitr!! iDied this morning playing catch up! Some of my favorites? (edited)

@elon Nikki's outfit just let me know i'm too old for this ish.

@dmg shoutout to collins for the malcom x finger point when they flashed bieb's eyewear *snickering right now*

@court i like gaga better when she's wearing meat or kermit the frog

@e nikki calling wayne the best rapper alive reminds me of whitney calling bobby the king of rnb

@fresh amber rose mad AF she didn't think of the pregnancy red carpet stunt

@GP katie ain't been right since she got with cruise. she always looks she wants to tell us something but it afraid to speak

(re: CB) @court and your suit! RT@chav that ninja stole my moves!

@aki the wrong one RT @rj what key is she singing no scrubs in???

@gha wait, the dude who opened the vma was lady gaga!?!??!?! i'm so confused!!

*i glanced by my cousin watching it online, i thought it was bruno*

@marev bey is performing in clothes. that's all the preg confirmation you need

@tray the fact that it's time for a britney tribute means i'm getting old

@dani bey just ishted on y'all with that sexual chocolate mic drop #preggers (dying right now!!!)

@kko soooo, they kept the marriage private but announced the baby on the vmas.. oh. ok.

@kko watch kim k push back her baby so she won't have to compete with bey's. kris will NOT be having that!

@kko nikki gonna try this gaga move at BET awards next year lol

@paris people must really be disappointed that the only costume change gaga made was from a fonzie suit to a drunk fonzie suit

@yuno gaga, why you no look right with regular clothes on?

@fresh can't you just see it now? mama tina gluing little stones on booties and making asymmetrical onesies...

@pat why wayne got on tights tho?

@jam of all the BET endings...

i don't even need to watch!

but i will.

I Survived!

Really? I come to NY and the city has a hurricane? It hasn't seen once since 1938 but 4 weeks into this mug and here come Irene with alllll the pandemonium to boot.

It must be the south florida in me. I do NOT believe ANY of the hype. I was very surprised my brother text me, "You ok?" Yes, why wouldn't I be? We used to HATE fielding phone calls from UK, Ghana, and the US whenever hurricane season was on 10. Yes, we did appreciate the concern but we're here and we know sensationalism sells. Boy, does it sell.

Then there was TMI getting all up in arms b/c I was sooooo nonchalant about I.rene... like, he really got an attitude with me cause I started laughing at him trying to tell me how to live during a hurricane. "Make sure you have water! Stay away from the windows! Charge your phone just in case the power goes out! Get some flashlights! They say this will be the storm of a lifetime!"

-_-

Really? Cause I haven't been living in hurricane ally for the past 29 years. You know what my storm of a lifetime was? Hurricane Andrew. Cat 5. You know what another storm of a lifetime was? Katrina, Cat 5. She tore up the gulf while I was in Tally.

This is my thing. There is an exact science to hurricanes. As random and powerful as Mother Nature can be, there is no such thing as random. Let me explain myself and her for a split second.

1. I.rene was a Cat 3 when she was down in the warm waters of the Atlantic. Guess what happens to storms as they come up the east coast? the water gets cooler and they get weaker.

2. Her eye was never really developed. A bout-it hurricane has a definitive eye, as clear as a doughnut. She didn't have one. the literal center of her being was raggedy. When it is not crystal clear, dry air gets swept up into the bands/storm and basically deflates it.

So cooler water + dry air... you see where I'm going?

Now the argument TMI and others were trying to make was, "Well, the buildings aren't built for hurricanes like they are down in Florida! you need to make sure you're on the 10th floor or lower!"

I live on the 3rd floor in Brooklyn. Please calm down.

Now maybe there will be a time when a hurricane comes and shows my behind what it's made of. I am definitely not doubting nature and it's power. I will tell you this, I am NOT one of those people who say "Oh yeah, we're going to tough it out." (see: white trash in their trailer homes). If I was back home and the mayor of my town told me to evacuate or find a shelter immediately, I will heed. I just seriously doubt that "hurricane of a lifetime" will be up here. I truly believe NYC went into a frenzy as a pro-active instead of reactive measure. For that, I applaud the city. Someone brought up the Blizzard at a press conf and Bloomberg said, "What does the blizzard have to do with this? That was unexpected. This, we plan for and we take action." Get it, Bloomy!

Now we have to stay tuned for winter and the snow that is sure to come! I know Jameil cannot WAIT for my suffering :-(((((((

On another note, school has been canceled for me tomorrow! I am excited! I get to go to school and finish up the last details I didn't get to and just shoved in teacher storage, lol! I will print out some activities and throughly plan my day :-) Summer vacay is almost over!!

Rants, Ramblings, Whatever

So last week was a bit more positive than this week. Chill out, I'm allowed to not be cheery miss sunshine every once in a while; I believe in balance, thankyouverymuch.

1. The school i will be working at is the newest in the System. So for some weird reason, our principal feels like we should see the 7 other schools and how they get down. i live in BK. for me to be at the BX school by 7am means i have to get up and going by 430 am. it's still dark. that can't be safe. my main gripe is this: you have to have 3 years teaching experience to become a teacher in the System. Why would watching another teacher go thru her routine help me in mine? Yes, I can pick up a few pointers here and there but ma'am, traveling to harlem and BX is just plain ridiculous.

2. i've been here for two weeks now. in those two weeks, i've been talked at and lectured every.single.workday. from 8am to 5 pm. what more is there to learn that i just checked my work email and found out we have another session at 8am... MY GOSH! DO YOU PEOPLE EVER STOP TALKING?!!?

3. 3 hour meetings must stop. call us together at the end of the day for a hour debrief every day. don't call us one day at 10 am and keep us till 120pm and then call another meeting at 3pm. that can't happen. people stop listening after 2 hours. and i get hungry for some real food, not some freaking cheesits you pass around. i've already devoured the almonds i had in my bag, let me go eat some food.

4. $95 for a retouch?? GTFOOHWTB

5. $103 pp for a prix fixe menu? GTFOOHWTBS

6. people who don't take out their wallet before the bus gets here.

ma'am. you know you're getting on the bus in t-minus 6 minutes. why must you stand in the stairwell, fumble thru your purse and take out $2.25 in change? OMFG.

7. some say it's better to use cash but not me. I have cash in hand, it disappears. I like using my card cause i have a running total of my balance in my head. with cash, i think, "Oh, it's already taken out *SPEND*" the lack of businesses that takes cards appalls me. i understand we're in Bed-stuy and most people don't have a bank account but cash their checks at the bodega, but is the fee that much that you can't have a card reader? i hate you. but i love you at the same time cause Lord KNOWS i'd be fat off of pizza, ribs and fried fish if my food spots took cards! Yum!!! LOL

wasn't that a good segway into positive?

8. like my dearest friend Jameil, I loooooooove a good meal. where she finds utter joy in collecting the esoteric ingredients and preparing delectable dishes, I want to find a restaurant that will feed me well. throw in awesome atmosphere and a good drink, i'm yours forever. New York has alllll that. It has the zagat rated hole in the wall rib joint in bed-stuy. it has the always fun habana outpost in ft. greene. then... it has kittichai in soho

*fans self*

Dani and I will be going there next week. I'm going to pee on myself if Sunday doesn't get here right now!!!!

9. events.

yo, talking to my dad, he was like, "Don't forget to catch a Knicks game. And tell your uncle Spike to sit down!" LOLOLOLOL!!!!!! I AM IN KNICKS COUNTRY!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! I CAN'T WAIT TO CATCH A GAME!

ummm, there are free music fests here like, alllll of the time. i missed when mos def had his free concert in BK and then the morning shows always have someone performing during the summer... (i missed maroon 5 too)

10. i have more friends here :-) it was tough being so far from everyone. with my mom gone, it was me and pops and koko. but that was more likely me and koko with my dad's voluntary work schedule. up here, i can hop on a train to see at least 4 friends or see my family in LI. and flying anywhere out of NY is cheaper than flying out of PBI, i know that for a fact.

Ok, here's to focusing on the positive and minimizing the negative! negative is going to happen, as long as i vent, put it in the air and be done, i should have a great year!

Things I Know Now

This will be a piggy back off of (lol, I was about to '@' you) Dani Colored Glasses' post about moving to NY and not knowing what the deal was.

1. Flo Jo beneath every NYer.
So true. I WAS too cute to run up a flight of stairs yesterday and that made all the difference in an air conditioned seat, getting to the city in a timely manner, not being harassed by the late night locals and... my car having DCG's uncle serenading us in Patois. Not again.

2. The Cute Commute.

I thought I could make my commute to Harlem in my nude patent leather pumps and back. After all, I'm just walking a few blocks to and from the train stations...








FACE.






Those stairs and platforms and more stairs and more platforms and breezeways and under-underground tunnels and transfers via a totally different platform and construction on the platform leading to detours to a split level platform? Then the standing and waiting for a train or for your walk signal? *whimper* I wore cr.ocs for 48 hours straight. Not even my trusty steve madden flippies but crocs. I wanted to marry them, they were so good to me.

3. The all encompassing Tote.
I don't know how they do it. They have these lone-shomp totes with EVERYTHING in them!!! They talk about running to work in their asics, break out the full tupperware of salad, toppings, and dressings, the camelb.ak water bottle, two pieces of fruit, their mac, molesk.ine, iP.ad, umbrella, and tor.yburch flats. Where does it all go?? I have this denim GAP tote which I ADORE and all I'm carrying is the mac, my wallet, and my keys. and I want to die. I'm a wristlet kind of girl. Adjustment is tantamount to survival.

4. Weather Expert.
Yeah, I came home and ordered the isht out some rain boots. Why I didn't order them the FIRST time I got rained on and feet street wet, I have no idea but just know that I am on the hunt for an ankle length northfase bubble with a hood/snorkel BEFORE winter gets here.

and I'm going to find it.

5. Scarves

I have no problems with scarves. I love my solid color jones new york joints with a passion. I have red, dark pink, orange, yellow, wisteria, black, and cream (need blue and green, peeps). How many of them did I bring with my in my packing haste last week? Nun. But, for whatever reason, my leopard print blanket of a scarf was in my carry on from when I bought it in the DMV this past June and that's what i decided DIDN'T match my dress and therefore wasn't coming with me last night.

Then the sky opened. I had nothing to protect my hair, I had nothing to keep me warm on the train, I had nothing. Again, back to that "too cute to commute" tenet. Ima learn, lil mama, Ima learn. There is NOTHING cute about a skinny black girl shivering on the train looking like a drenched kitten.

7. Personal Space

I'm African. There is no such thing as personal space. We leave all doors open and damn you to nigeria if you think you're going to close/lock the door while you're taking a shower (that's what shower curtains are for). I've told you years ago, the first time I slept with a door closed was my first night at Hampton. This issue doesn't bother me at all. I just want to get on the train. Let my ass in. I missed the last one trying to be cute, remember?

I have even thought of asking guys if they would mind me sitting on their laps. I would never EVER do that but this has crossed my mind:

I wonder if he would mind me sitting on his lap. My feet are killing me in these damn pumps. I should just sit and see if he would object, yeah...

Not only that, but if you do happen to get a seat on a crowded train, be prepared to have someone's junk in your face. Yep. The seats are that low. Full.frontal.

8. Up/Downtown

It makes so much sense to me now. I was truly confused for the longest time and it's because I'm not used to the word 'uptown'. We have a Downtown. It's where City Place is. Oh yeah, the courthouse but more importantly, City Place. Here, uptown is going... up! Downtown is... down! I used to think all of Man was 'Downtown' just based on my schemata (where the action and business take place) but many many train rides and begging MTA officials to let me in cause "I know I just swiped my card but that was across the street and that was the wrong way", I got it all figured out. If I want to go home, I go Downtown and keep going till I'm not even in Man anymore but in BK, across the water. If I want to go to the System, I go Uptown till I'm damn near in The BX.

9. Cabs.

I've taken two. I'm not there yet. If I can't get there by bus or train, I don't need to be there. I'm kidding. That's a stupid way to think but I need to wrap my head around using cash and then I think I'll be more open to them. Lord knows, I could've used one last night.

9. Personal Entertainment.

There was a point in time when I didn't charge my itouch until I was going on a trip. I used it that infrequently. Now, I am PISSED if I didn't charge it the night before. Music... shit, just the headphones alone give you personal space. I know you see my earbuds in, don't talk to me about my superman tattoo it's not that big of a deal. It's a tat. I'm in NY and VERY mild compared to the population.

I do like reading the AM NY (or something like that) just to get a heads up on what's going but what usually happens is i play bejeweled and listen to itoons on shuffle. I've been hearing some songs I didn't even know I have and I like them!

10. Be present

Yo, this came to me as I was walking home from the train station. BE PRESENT. As I was swimming home and thinking about the wonderful shower I was about to take in BLEACH, I thought, "Yo. I just left freakin Manhattan after a night with some girlfriends. I am walking in the rain in Brooklyn, New York. I am walking HOME in BK. I am here. It rains. So what?

Enjoy each moment as they come b/c it could've been a totally different ball game. TOTALLY different. I don't have that much money. Buying plane tickets with less than 48 hours turn around (and checked bag fees, grrr) is pricey. Trying to make your new place as comfy as possible and freaking transportation costs money. My MTA card def had $0.50 and I knew if I used my card I would be left with the negative absolute value of that in my account (FRIDAY, I NEED YOU HERE LIKE I'VE NEVER NEEDED A FRIDAY BEFORE) but whatever, I am freaking HERE.

and there is my first week in New York! LOLOL i'm loving every moment of it!

An Educator's Rant

So. To bring everyone up to speed, I moved to NY last Sunday after getting word I was hired by a prestigious charter school of documentary fame. All aboard? Let's go.

Between Te*ach4America and NY Fell.ows, I just wonder how many actual educators we have in the System (my pseudonym for the...network of schools I now work for). Seeing how TFA is el negro nuevo or the new law school, I feel like my profession is being flooded with trust fund babies who majored in existential russian literature at sarah law.rence or ceramics at uc*la. For instance, my assistant majored in publishing...








Publishing.










PUBLISHING.



And after graduation two years ago, went to live in france for two years to learn the language. After two years of cafe conversations, she "felt a pull to do more with her life" and that brought her to the System. And now she's in my classroom as an assistant but more like a co-teacher. And b/c she worked at the System during summer school, I can already tell she thinks she knows more than me abt teaching. For my HU people, she's like the students who went to pre-college. Shut.up. You were here for a full 4 weeks before us, you cut your summer short, dummy.

Now I'm not saying the only people who should be teachers should have majored in education, I'm def not saying that b/c there are TONS of people who missed their calling, who were coerced into a certain major (hello? I'm "supposed" to be a pharmacist and then a pediatrician??). As a matter of fact, Jam's cousin was a business major at FAM and he wo teacher of the year a number of times. That's all fine. But more often than not, I feel like people get into education cause they feel like it's a last resort. Maybe their major didn't pan out; it was harder than they thought, whatever. We've all had that teacher who knew their subject BUT COULD NOT TEACH. I remember a math teacher at SHS. He was a mathematician. He was not a teacher. He knew math upside down and inside out. But since he didn't major in secondary education with a math emphasis, he didn't know how to TEACH. He didn't take pedagogy, foundations, development, etc. You know I actually took classes that TAUGHT me how to TEACH each subject? (Of course you know.)

I'm all for teaching and people wanting to be teachers. The profession and the country needs more teachers. What we don't need are bry.nma.wr grads thinking they are doing the world a favor by "trying this teaching thing out". In three or four years, when you're "over" working in Harlem and there's a sudden shortage of teachers b/c it's "on to the next one", then what?

dream weaver

how you doin lil shawty, let me whisper in your ear

tell you somethin that you might like to hear...

it really blows their minds when you tell them you are totally capable of thinking about relationships the same way they think of them.

'they' being men.

it's okay. just tell them they are doing a good job.

pulchrum est paucorum hominum

'beauty is for the few' as in Niet.zsche's 1885 The Antichr!st. I don't know how I came across this line but it turned up in a search a few weeks ago and I've been digging it ever since.

I am a little bit obsessed with looks. Not in a way that I would alter anything I was blessed with (outside of orthodontics) but just how looks affect interactions. There are people who I think are unattractive and have unsavory personalities to boot. I often wonder where to they get off acting like that looking the way they do. Then there are people who I swear look good because their personality is awesome or they carry themselves with the perfect balance of humbleness and confidence. I dated a guy in high school who every one would agree was not the best looking but he was loved by everyone. Then there was the cutie with a shit personality...

what makes a certain person attractive? Is it that perfect ratio (1:1.6)? Does everyone have their own ratio? When do you cross the line into straight up preference? is beauty really in the eye of the beholder?