DMG's Gem

Him: I don't care if you're a Knix fan, I could care less

Me: Lies.

H: It's all your fault

M: watching my show...

H: Watch your eggs freeze to, bye

M: as soon as your grammar improves we can talk. homophones steal thugness

Day Made? Check!

Your girl just got her hair done, right? Fresh mizani relaxer in this mug. Anyway, jet black hair is blowing in the wind as I'm walking from right-aid and leave it to the stoop niggas to say something.

SN: Hey Miss...

SN 2: Miss...

SN: Sweetheart...

SN 2: Sweet Miss...

SN: Chocolate...

SN 2: Sweet Chocolate...

SN: Swiss Miss

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I BUST.OUT.LAUGHING WHEN DUDE CALLED ME SWISS MISS!!!!! I had to turn around and see who deemed me Scandinavian!!! I flashed a smile and said, "Y'all just made my day!"

and then I scurried home.

I've decided to get relaxers every 4 months and keep it moving.

Update

1.

Met up with Officer Anderson* on Sunday. We watched the Pack and G-Men play and he was pleasantly surprised with my football knowledge. But I didn't know what exactly a 'Pick 6' was so I think he felt good being able to explain something to me.

While on the subject of females and football, I think I know what happened.

Hella chicks started pretending to like football so they can seem like that cool ass chick. The Marine? His ex wife used to watch football with him ALLLLL THE TIME. The minute they got married, she fessed up and said, "Ugh, I hate that ish. I'm going to the mall." When we used to hang out, he was very skeptical of me liking football and was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Whatever the case, guys got played into thinking their girls like football. It became a pandemic! But now that the fluff has been weeded out, guys are still like, "You like football? For real?" and I stay getting the side-eye! I don't your approval to like football!

So yeah, we met at the Brooklyn Bridge and walked to a pizzeria in The South Seaport of lower Man. As we were walking, there was a tree lighting and carolers in the street! Then before we sat down to watch the game, we looked at the skyline of Brooklyn at dusk. Walked to the other side of the pier and saw Lady Liberty! It was actually surreal. I couldn't believe I was meeting up with a member of the NYPD to eat pizza and watch the Giants play with the sun setting on Brooklyn in the background. Sounds like a cliche' bit in a rom-com!

So we've been chatting but our schedules are complete opposite. Oh well, there was talk of attending a Knicks game and getting me close to the action at NYE :-)

2.

I love flying. I haven't been scared the past two times. There was one time I didn't even know we were landing till I felt the *bump* of tire meeting asphalt. I hope I will always be able to afford to fly and eventually move up to first class as my standard. This weekend, I will be in the DMV for my grandfather's states-side memorial service. I'm more excited at all the family I'm going to see, including my brother :-) I haven't seen him since Labor Day weekend!

3.

I'm going to be an auntie! My very first niece is scheduled to arrive in march and I CAN'T WAIT! I've named her Staceyita and I'ma call her that cause I have a feeling she will be like me:

overprotected.

4.

I've been wearing my hair pinned up and whenever I start removing bobby pins, I'm surprised by how long my hair is :-) No, it's not what it used to be but it is so getting there! I told y'all, Operation Long Hair Don't Care was in effect!!! I can't wait for my hairdresser to see it!

5.

30th birthday. I've decided it will be in either Philly or DC. When I think of those two cities, I think of the birth of a new nation, independence, freedom, all that patriotic stuff. It will most likely be in DC so start planning for GHoGH Parte Deux!!!! Oh, the theme? Red, White, and Loub. Yes, I'm 30, tricks! Gimme my shoes!

6.

Sometimes I love where I work, sometimes I don't.

7.

I really love going out in NYC. I feel so alive and like this is how I'm supposed to be living. Sometimes, it may be a dive bar or some hood spot or some cool lounge in Manhattan. The yellow cabs, the hustle and bustle, guys and girls in their cutest fits, feeling good off of work, the whole vibe. SO ALIVE!

8.

I can't wait to go home and be in some sunshine. but first, the hair on my legs is Fcukin Ridiculous. I saw this on twitter and RT'd promptly: if the PETA people saw my legs, they'd throw paint on them.

*STAMP*

*I call him Officer Anderson b/c he reminds me of Anderson Coop. Small and piercing blue eyes.

What I Learned from Him (1)

i just went to the laundry room to start my second load of laundry and I saw some camo peeking from under a basket. I bent down and saw it was the 'hot weather cap' from PVC C. L. WHITE.

Wow.

he was my first boyfriend at FAMU. He was my (equivalent of a student leader) tour guide during TOPS (total orientation for parents and students) who caught my eye. 6 foot, 230? I'm there. We started dating at the end of the first football game. Yes, he asked me out old school style at the end of a football game. LOL, it was actually cute.

What led to our demise was another woman. I think I was actually "the other woman". I remember that spring 2003 day, I was truly heartbroken cause I couldn't believe that someone would NOT treat me the way I had been treating them. I take the "Golden Rule" very seriously!!

Whatever the case, he was Army reserve and activated in Feb 2003. Went to iraq and everything. made it back in one piece only to die on the operating table.

Yes, he is dead.

I have an ex who is no longer with us.

When he got back from Iraq, he went back to school, crossed Que and was seemingly back to normal. With a combination of not (having to) tak[ing] care of himself and medication many of our vets are put on to re-acclimate them to civilian life, C. L. was a candidate for gastric bypass surgery. It was on the table the world lost him. Not on the front lines, not from an IED or suicide bomber. Here in the States.

Holding his hat for the first time in some years, I was flooded with the memories we shared. They were good at first and I only wish we ended on a good foot cause I really liked his family and they loved me. We talked about the future (I believed him) and I saw a future with him. What shook me as I put on his hat like I used to do Fall 2002 was "What If...?"

What if we jumped on that marriage before war bandwagon and wedded before he was deployed. I'd be a widow.

What if I was still in the picture, even as a friend to tell him, "C Dub, let's go for a run."

What if...

I told you this story cause there is someone I love DEEEEEEEAAAAARLY who is overweight. Yes, it's Drew. He's beyond the range I like. By 20+ pounds. I don't want him to be on someone's table and not make it. During our time apart (yes, we're taking break) I told him what I'm going to do and he asked, "Well what should I do?"

Work out. Not just for you, for me.

Random Thoughts

The one thing I like abt my cycle is how my cup size goes up. I'm like a good A.5 right now. Looks hot in the v-necks. Too bad I don't feel that way.

While on the topic, is it safe to leave "artillery" (what I call fem products) in the car? The heat won't denature anything? I don't want asbestosis on my lady parts.

And STILL on the topic, why did I go to the master bathroom and find a box of liners from 1982!?!?!?! Kanye said it best, "put that p^$$* in a sarcophagus"

So one of my fave homies works for NAS.CAR and got me and Drew access to the last race in the series (Homestead). I have no idea what we got ourselves into. I do want to go and check it off my hypothetical list of things done in life. (Attend a NASCAR race). I do wonder what Craig Mack would do in my case...

The commericals with a random man (dos xx and oldspi.ce) are too funny! We need more anonymous people.

My class makes me want to have children. Seriously, when I work one-on-one with the babes, I marvel at their little brains working and making connections. the lightbulb makes everything worth it :-)

Guess who's the sponsor of the new and improved Cooking Club??? Yeah, another teacher pestered the hell out of the principal and she brought them back. Yesterday, we made carrot-banana bread. Yep, me and 24 2nd-5th graders! Nope, I've never made it before that day. They came out ok!! Possibly too much stirring but you can't ask children not to stir!

I had a talk with Lyds. I think everything should... *fingers crossed* be ok planning wise. All my favorite girls are on board and I'm chipping away at ceremony/reception sites! I's getting excited! Esp when Jam decides to come down! Aaaaaaaah!

Drew said his parents will prob be at our wedding. You have no idea how happy I was when he said that! Now let's schedule a meeting between now and June... Baby steps?

My hair has lost its mind. But, it's getting done tomorrow. I can't wait. No more depending on bobby pins to hold together my self esteem.

Yo, that dress I wore this past Saturday? Straight up disrespectful. It mocked me. I felt like sophomore year after spring break when ALL my jeans and underwear happened to shrink in the dryer... bastards. I swore up and down it was the super hot dryers fault... till my roomie pointed out my face did the opposite of shrink, Texas bitch. I'm kidding (abt calling her a b!. She was one of the nicest people at HU!)

Football was good to me this week. Cowboys won, Giants lost, steelers lost, Vick/Eagles (mostly Vick) won. Dude straight up solo gang banged the Skins. How do you want it? I'll run it, I'll pass it, I'll hail mary it, how you want it? I got it. Gimme dat.

Even though I have two different dress styles in mind, I'm going for the fun party look. Sheath says, "demure". It doesn't say "fun". My brother likes the one I like too! He's so cute, he told me about a nice wedding he saw where I'm thinking of wedding... awwww!

Whyyyyyyy, is there a lady at school who prints out everything she's doing for her daughter's wedding (april 2011) for me? And she asked what size I am in case I was close in size to her daughter who got married last October. Ummmm, thanks but no thanks?!

Who can't wait for Thanksgiving break??? I can't wait for T-Break! even though I know it's going to be some madness...

I'm out!

Randoms

I know you guys think I'm kidding, but I really do wonder what Craig Mack is doing right now and like I did on Twitter, I do wonder, "What Would Craig Mack Do?". It's soooooo random but he was the first victim of Diddie so I worry about him :-(

i've taken up to running. I would rather do conditioning (the whole nine; weights, sprints, balance, agility, etc) but seeing how I don't play an organized sport for a university, that's out. I do miss the gym and having a trainer...

speaking of working out, someone said we're going to play tennis this weekend. If not, I'll continue to get my solo run on.

i've started waxing again. It's amazing to not have to worry about unwanted hair for 3 or more weeks at a time!

we've narrowed it down. Summertime. LAWD, be a cold front!

who here knows how I feel about deadlines?? Planning a wedding doesn't mesh with me... all I know is I want dark pink fabulousness. oh yeah, and a gray dress.

School isn't fun right now. I don't like pressure... I'ma flip out one day...

the political ads that simply DOG the opponent piss me off. I tweeted about one that was simply, "If you like Barack, you'll LOVE (gov candidate)." are you freaking serious?!?! THAT'S what we've come to!?!? and you know there are STUPID people out there who don't know what the fluck is going on but now know NOT to vote for someone cause an ad used psychology on they dumb asses!!!

woosah.

when a person pisses me off to no end, I call them a ninja and I qualify it with their race. "I know this white ninja did NOT ignore my question!!!!!!!!" yes, I've called DFB that a few times. One time, to his face.

I have a grown up costume for Halloween this year!!! I thiiiink, you can click my 'pix' tag and see what i wore 4 years ago. It was not a game!

My favorite ex and I keep in contact. We are the only other person each other knows who loves MJ as much as the other does (did that make sense?). I was thinking about him this morning and guess who sent me a text? Fave ex! I then told him, "I wish we lived closer! We'd be awesome friends and couples!" He replies, "Hell yeah! More ig'nant than 50 Tyson! Y'all should move!" #ChileBoo. The next place I'm moving is to a tower overlooking somebody's water! wait, that can apply where he is... okay, next place I'm moving is the M-I-Yayo!

Art Ba.sel Miami Beach is coming! I's so excited! I LOOOOOOVE visual art!! and my last issue of W mag had a ginormous article on America's most important art show!! woo hoo, can't wait! We haven't been since 2007; that needs to be fixed asap-edly!

speaking of art, I think that adds to my LOVE of Kan. He can do no wrong in my book. People like to ride on him cause he's wearing a red v-neck with hella chains but who else would have the guts to wear that? I LOVE him for that!!! Just cause you're in "hip hop" doesn't mean it has to be jeans and timbs/af1s, stop with the pigeonholing. although I didn't like the song he did on SNL, i LOVED the performance. so simple!

nevermind, people just think you drank the Ye kool-aid if you like what he does. real talk, he's up there with Barack. DON'T TALK ABOUT MY PREZ OR MY 'YE!!

I plan on getting WBW this weekend. We know what happened last time I did that... I found myself an(other) WB admirer. a marine one. BTW, we google chat once in a while... bless his crazy heart. I told him I was engaged before I put it on FB and he said I broke his heart. *snickering*. You're doing the most right now. THEE.most.

I'm ready for my hair to be long again. It was growing like wildfire when I was in the salon every 10 days... but i can't be spending money on frivolity anymore! I gots to put some away for you know, that thing I'm having sometime in the summer... LOL!

Is it too soon to try on dresses? Jam and I are ready to fly to NY and stop by kleinfelds. Anitra, we'll layover in DC and you're coming with. Dani, meet us at 133rd and White Plains. *BREAK!*

Chic-fil- a made me feel better after my trying afternoon that included ig WW, data entry, unsupervised children, and CRYING.

I don't do crying.

Today should've been Friday.

Stace, Wake Up!

Drew and I went to Bonita Springs for a Caribbean Fest he was playing in. It was cool, the city itself wasn't all that but we went and came right back. We got back in time to watch the rest of the Cowboys game and we were both watching, on edge. OMG, as you may or may not know, we lost and lost STUPIDLY. One of the announcers said it perfectly, "The Cowboys have been beaten again, by the Cowboys."

I was so upset at the last play that I literally put myself to sleep. Some 3 hours later, Drew starts fidgeting around, hugging me, kissing my un-wrapped head, and telling me how much he loves me, asks if I love him, who loves who more... mind you, I'm still asleep for the most part; head under the covers, fetal position. "Do you love me, babe?" "Yes, darling you know I do." "Ok, good, cause I love you too." "That's nice." I'm trying to sleep and he shakes me, "Hey, hey, turn around." "What? I'm sleeping!" "Wake up, turn around" I turn my head to face him, squinting cause i'm not awake yet, "What?????" "I love you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"

He puts the ring on my finger and I start laughing uncontrollably! Like, rolling around on the bed, wiping tears out of my eyes LAUGHING OUT LOUD. "ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!??! ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW!??! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" "So is that a yes??" "YESSSSSS!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA YOU ARE TOO MUCH! THIS IS TOO FUNNY!! DAMN, I'M AWAKE NOW! Awww babe, you're too cute!!! HAHAHAHA!!"

When all the laughing was done, he told me all the different ways he thought about proposing. He thought about using other people's children, putting inside of a cake, putting it on my finger while I was sleeping... then he realized the time was right (me sleeping?????) and he went with it. I'm play-play mad my hair was all un-wrapped, nails weren't done and I was half asleep but he said that it was perfect cause I went from zero to 100 in 5 seconds flat and he actually liked that I was drowsy. Weirdo!

Then we ordered sushi as usual and ate, he left for his show on SoBe, I called my mom and Jameil, chatted with Dani and decided to blog about it!

Now what's "weird" is that I thought I'd be on every social network screaming from the rooftops, "I's engaged!! FINALLY, IT HAS HAPPENED TO ME, RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE AND I JUST CANNOT HIDE IT! (I loved CeCe Pen). But I called 2 people, chatted with one, and sent out a few emails to a couple more. No tweets, no FB status update or profile picture of a left hand. I think I'm scared of EVERYONE being all in my business and I've heard the stories of people assuming/inviting themselves to your big day... no, not I.

What's also funny is that Mommy and I pored over my T&C Wedding mag yesterday morning over tea, pancakes and turkey sausage. I showed her all the pages I tabbed and we commented on likes and dislikes of every page. I've only done that with Jam and only felt comfy doing that with her yesterday. Then 24 hours later...!!!

So yeah, now the planning begins!! OW!!

Cheaters

Have you ever watched that show? Why is it so hilarious? But at the same time so sad? I'm wondering if I could've been on an episode...

So you know I have a crusher. That's my term for someone who crushes. Yes, TM really likes me after one incident of dancing the night away and a couple games of bowling. And me being me, I don't encourage crushers but I def don't crush them either... am I an enabler??

Whatever the case, for week 3 of partying with the WBs, RJ, Tish, and I were supposed to go karaoke-ing. What ended up happening was me and TM playing pool. Yep, just us two.

Now in MY head, I don't like him like that. He's a bit off from various injuries, he's a vet, he smokes his medicine pretty much all day, he's just visiting for a month or two, etc. No reason to start anything even if I was single. Oh yeah, he has an ex-fiance and an ex-wife. Sir.

I regress. I don't like him. I don't want him. I do appreciate the attention b/c of what's going on in my personal life (will talk abt later) and I honestly just have fun with him. I see it as the beginning of a cool friendship with the opposite sex. But, I know TM doesn't see it that way and I can only imagine how DFB would see it if he was watching me on video from an unmarked van.

We shot a couple games of pool, of course he whooped my arse cause he's good at everything, he drank a mug of beer, I had water... I started getting hungry so we went to a nearby bbq restaurant. We ordered and ate and left. Then went to DD for a chocolate craving he needed to fix. Oh yeah, your boy LOOOOOOOVES chocolate. More than any guy I've ever seen. All kinds of chocolate too. o_O

We sat outside of DD while he talked abt some Marine stuff, things he did his freshman year at WVU before he joined the Corp, the fact you can give him ANY weapon whether he was trained on it or not, from bow n arrow to rocket launcher, and he can hit the target in 3 or less shots, from its MAXIMUM range (I thought that was a scary cool piece of info), talked about how he spent a whole month stalking, hunting, and trapping a top 10 villian so that was 30 he did not shower...his italian mother and his german father, etc. He found it remarkable I called him an "Axis baby" and thought I was even better cause I'm cute and smart. The whole time he's talking and stuffing his face with coffee and dough, I'm thinking, "I hope nobody I know happens to show up... that'll be fcuked up." Because I started feeling guilty abt what I was doing even though on the other side of that coin, I knew I wasn't doing anything, I got up and said, "okay, I have to go now."

My question to you readers, was I wrong? I'm on the fence with myself. My definition of cheating is surprisingly liberal and I will def talk abt that in another post cause the TM issue is far from over. But talk to me abt opposite sex friendships, can you make new ones or is someone getting set-up for the okie-doke?

Day 5- Your Definition of Love

This one is easy for me.

My def of love is Andrew.

From the time I became cognizant of wanting to find and marry the love of my life, Andrew has been there. I used to treat every guy I dated like he was "The One" (t.o.). I used to think being T.O. meant me being supportive and seeing past B.S. I thought since I liked him and he liked me, we were working thru rough patches and I was just supposed to be patient. All the while, Drew was being my dream guy.

To me, love is respecting one another. There can't be one-way love situations. You love what the person does, stands for, and says. Conversation or thoughts aren't dominated by one side cause there is a level of respect for what the other says.

Love is admiring one another. You wake up in the morning to a smooched face slobberer and it makes you smile. You get ready for a night out and you are still amazed at how good your love looks. But don't forget a donation of 10,000 pencils to an impoverished school in Africa has been made in your name calls for admiration, too. Or together, you buy enough nets for a village to ward off malaria. Admiration of looks, no matter how scary or gorgeous and admiration of actions.

Love is also sacrifice. It can be something as small as skipping a paid rehearsal to spend time with your love. Or big like doing something you just don't want to do, like move back home. Love is also letting your love follow their dreams, even if it means being apart.

Love makes you do some things. But one thing I've learned from all my dealings and then being with Drew, love isn't supposed to hurt. Love feels good. Love feels like what you've been waiting your whole life for. Yeah, there are ups and downs but like that corny behind Luther song, "I rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else"

And you know I have a couple songs to go with LOVE.

How I Know- R Hargrove

I Got You- T Lockhart (just listen to the song, it's the only I could find)

Something About Us- D. Punk

Lady in My Life- M.J.Jackson

Life is Better- Tip feat N. Jones

Where Would I Be- Kin

Groovy Kind of Love- P.Collins (remake)

30's the New 20?

Why something always got be the new-new? Can't we just appreciate where we are? Maybe even take it back? Why come Jay Zee turned 40 so now it's the new 30? Is 30 where it's at? And when Drew turned 30 the other day, why did a 34 y.o we dined with say, "It's the new 20!"?

Did I miss a memo?

Was 20 the hauteness?

Now don't get me wrong, I'd LOVE to re-live my college days, all 2,555 of them. (Well, not alllll of them.) But when Niko (RJ's new boo) made the aforementioned statement, I was INSTANTLY taken back to 2002.

*

Okay, I turned 20 in May of 2002 so sophomore year was clearly over. I just gotten word I'd be attending FAMU with my brother who just graduated from Suncoast High. In May of 2002, I got my 2nd tattoo, a star on where I guess would be an ovary. Summer 2002, my family and I drove to Hampton to get my things out of storage. I left a note for Martina and BB on a trunk. I really think we drove back to Florida without a word coming out of my mouth.

Summer 2002, the guy I was dealing with starts to show his ass. We go back and forth via snail mail. (LMMFAO) I don't even remember what was said but I come thisclose to telling him, "That's why you weren't my first like I said you were." But I knew I wouldn't be coming back to HU and I didn't want him talking iSht about me while I wasn't there. He stamps, affirms, and confirms my decision to not make my first person anyone special. I could only imagine how I would've felt if he WAS my first. Someone would've had had to die. And it wasn't going to be me.

Fall 2002, first semester at FAMU... interesting. "Does anyone have class here?" Not taking a class but social class.

One thing I did notice was how openly Greek stuff was here. EVERYTHING was claimed with two colors and two years. I thought that was cool.

I shared a townhouse with two chicks I've known forever but mostly from Suncoast. We had lots of fun. Some trying times of course but more fun like making up dance routines and watching the Best man EVERYDAY. We were also walking distance to campus. I dated a guy who was the equivalent of a Student Leader at Hampton. We went to football games together with Kim and her BF (now husband). Dee marched in the 100.

I went to an Oil Spill with Kitty and fell on the ground a lot. I wasn't drunk, there was just hella liq on the floor. Not cool. I NEVER want to fall at parties and look like "that chick". Kitty got bit in the ass. We got barked at and guerilla-style dry humped. My car got broken into and all my CDs were gone. DEVASTATED. I then decided "I don't like Ques." They weren't like the ones at Hampton. FAMU Ques were beyond nasty and uncouth. and the ones from Florida State were extra hype. I assumed they had to prove themselves cause they're crossed at a PWI. Oh Lord, there's a white one too. He wins the title for Too Hype.

Parties at FAM are called Cosmos, short for Cosmopolitans. No one knew what I was talking about when I said I wanted to go to Cabs, short for Cabarets. Oh well, they were fun either way.

Football games are BEYOND a blast at my new school. OMG, the band is the greatest. and I know a lot of people in the band so I make special requests. It's so cool to know so many people from home. I feel like I can be myself. But in classes where I don't know anyone, I'm seen as the bourgie chick. I think it's cause I intro myself as a transfer from Hampton university. well, that's what I was! I'm torn. I hated the pretentiousness of HU, the "keeping up appearances" the full out accepting of being bourgie. You don't have to be stuck up/stank to have class. People were full of themselves at HU. But then I get to FAM and the ghettoness has me shaking my head at every turn. Where am I? Where do I belong? I didn't make any new friends.

Christmas comes, EVERYONE is home. I love not having to catch US Air to come home. I HATED that airline. My hair is long again.

Spring 2003

I'm still 20. The Student Leader I was dating ships out on Valentine's Day. He's in the reserves. I meet the whole family when we go to St. Pete the week before. Cool, his mom ADORES me.

Classes happen, I have a 3.8 gpa, I'm an education major and I love it. I visit my beloved Hampton for CC's bday in February. OMG, I MISS ALLL MY HOMIES! IT'S SO COOL TO BE AROUND PEOPLE WHO DON'T THINK YOU'RE BOURGIE, BUT NORMAL!!

Basketball games are okay... they're in the gym so I feel a bit claustrophobic. HU played in the convocation center which hosted concerts and other big events. Am I really sitting on wooden bleachers like I'm in highschool? Oh well, the Pep Band is great so I have fun.

It's spring time so probates are happening left and right. Virgil crossed Kappa. Everyone is at his probate but I'm on the phone with SL's WIFEY. Yes, the guy I was dating has a main chick. I call Deanne and she can't understand a word I'm saying cause I'm wailing on the phone. She was also at Virgil's probate. She thought I was dying of pain or something. My heart was breaking as if it was made of poorly made glass. It's a bad time for me. I cut my hair for the 2nd time in my life. I look like a Supreme and I love it.

The end of March brings a wonderful party to my life. The Illustrious Champagne Sip. Kitty and I attend our first one Spring 2003. THEE best party EVER. EVAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRR! We get dressed up in ball gowns and drink champagne all night? So there. We had no idea how loose it would get. But loose in a good way, not in a Champagne Sip 2004 way. *whew!*

April comes and goes. Exams and graduation come and go. School's out, "summer" is here. SL is still calling me, trying to make things work. I answer the calls as part of my American duty to boost the morale of our military but the feeling is gone. I'm like a hollow heart when it comes to love at this time. One day he calls while I'm at Kitty's and I start fake crying to make him feel bad. I remember why I was dubbed Ms. Drama freshman year at Hampton. He starts crying. But I don't think he's faking. I end with, "Don't call me anymore! Call Shay! *click*" Then, a guy in her section (french horn) who I had been eyeing on stops by and I get him. My motto for the year? "Fcuk the World, literally."*

So that was 20 for me. If 30 is going to be the 2.0 version of that, I'll pass.

*so even though Kitty and I said we were going to fcuk the world, we didn't. *LMAO* I didn't crush on anyone again till the end of Spring 2004.

Estoy Aqui

I'm in Tally getting transcripts so I can get on with my life, OMG, why is my alma mater charging me $10 for one?!?!?!?!?!?!?! i just can't believe that!!! What happened to $5?!??! MAAAAAAAYBE $8?? TEN dollars is just plain rude and very inconsiderate. I know we in a reccession, but damn.

I took Tima to the shelter. I couldn't take her anymore. In my old age, i've become neater and neater. She was simply too messy for me. I like to come home to a clean place and clean it even more WHEN I WANT TO. She was making me do too much. And summer is here, she would've put salt in my travelling game. I felt horrendous but i knew it was for the best for both of us. Someone is going to get an energetic puppy and I get to go wherever I want for as long as I want.

I decided I want to have a drink every day of summer vacay and possibly get drunk. It sounds like fun, especially since I didn't use my college days wisely in that respect. 10am sounds like a fun time to start sippin on asti, what do you think?

Speaking of drinking, i've CORRECTLY calcuated the number of times I was throw-up drunk: 4. i forgot SUM '04 when I was road tripping all over Florida. Oh yes, the house party in Orlando had me feeling like i was in a wave pool. and I got sea-sick in the bushes.

I found an e-mail I sent Jameil last year and I'm strangely on track with what I planned for my life. I'll explain 'strangely' later.

I HAVE to do a lot of moving and shaking this summer. I need a trip to ATL, DFW, DC, NC, BAL, NYC, LAS before August 15, 2010. And if I can use my passport between now and back to school, I will consider my 30 before 30 accomplished. I know, that's only 1 before 30 but I don't have lofty goals in the summer, sue me.

Jameil has pointed out that ONLY when I'm with my friend Kitty, does utter foolishness occur. SO TRUE. You have no idea how many emails I've sent Jam from my phone abt what me and Kit have gotten into. Harmless fun like hopping stone walls to hunt mangoes to "are we gonna going to jail?" popping up in my mind whilst we were driving thru GA. I can't imagine how our lives would've been if we were white girls at a PWI.

Oh, a 30 before 30 just popped into my mind, I may have shared it with you already: catch a Dallas game IN Dallas. I think I want to pop my NFL experience cherry with a Cowboys game... yeah, that'll be an AWESOME first time. Then I can have an orgasm in the store... again. Y'all have no idea how buck wild I went in there in Feb... it was like eating the best sushi in the most fabulous hotel room and then jet-setting to Fashion Week in Paris and having an afterparty on a yacht.

*I JUST SHARED MY DEEPEST FANASTY WITH Y'ALL*

Anyway, I'm bout to go to campus and print some papers. I'll holllllllla!

Team Aiden

when I went to DFW in Feb, we talked several times. Of course, he was trying to come over and be Mr. Big to my Carrie. Specifically, that flashback scene she has of her and Big when they started their affair. yeah, I wasn't really feeling that. I think I may have led him on but I wanted to see what lengths he'd go to see me. Oh he was trying. The whole time I was there, we didn't see each other till I was on my way to the airport. He sat in the lobby till my driver came and we parted ways with a hug. When I got in the car, he text me,

"How come you didn't want to see me?"

I replied, "It's not that I didn't want to see you, I didn't want to see you the way you wanted to see me. Yo, that was 5 years ago. We aren't the same people. We were carefree college students. Now, we're adults in relationships. Why mess around for a faded memory?"

"Cause that memory was awesome. Yeah, we're different, but our passion might be the same"

"Really? Booooo... you know we can't really stand each other, right? We don't see eye-to-eye on ANYTHING. The only thing that could make you more opposite of me is if you're tall and white"

"Oh, like your boy? I would think you'd like that."

"You're funny, FB stalker. Anyway, I'll be back. We'll see what happens next time"

Next time was last week. I didn't let him know I was in town. He sent me a message on FB

"When you coming back to Texas?"

I didn't want to tell him I was in his state not even 48 hours ago...

"When I take my TX cert exam"

"Oh, I thought you were coming for another UTA visit, just checking"

Damn. UTA is so not on my agenda anymore. should reply with, "naw" but instead, I said

"I had an interview Saturday morning and I left the same day"

"Wow- like my bday Saturday? u ain't right"

I knew it was his birthday. and I thought about calling or texting but he doesn't call or text or even FB me on my birthday! and plus he's part of nat'l a-hole day. i don't like 4/10

"1. I was here for business. 2. you didn't invite me to your birthday party. happy belated 3. I'm always right"

that was a jab at our last text convo. he snapped at me over some paradigm isht. I told him if anything, we're both right but I'm def not wrong. Again, the bumping of the heads.

"I didn't know you'd be here. u be on that bs. it was never confirmed that you were coming"

are you mad? don't be mad.

"If I knew something was going on, I would've stayed longer"

I really think I would've. nah, I had to come home and take care of FaTima sooner than later.

"If I knew u were coming you would've know. you know what? you got it. i'ma let it go"

finally. he "broke up" with me. nothing more to say, besides,

"yep."

I actually feel good that he's removed himself. Him being in the back of my mind, wondering if we could re-live '04-'06 was #notagoodlook. The random texts, the trips to TX that could've been very detrimental to my psyche...

He's in the past for a reason. I'm just PRAYING he won't become my Aiden in the desert.

#truthis

Those of you who tweet know what the pound sign means. If it didn't drive people crazy to have stream of consciousness tweets, this is what would be on there and not here... I guess it makes for another post.

#truthis I'm very sensitive about my dual college experience. I didn't want to go to Hampton but when I got there, I didn't want to leave. Don't get me wrong, I totally enjoyed my FAMU tenure and I'm eternally grateful for the top notch education I received but to this day, I remember at a convocation, the speaker told us to look to our left and look to our right. One of the people you looked at won't be here next year. I didn't think I'd be that person who was gone and it hurts cause I just wanted to start somewhere and finish there. But I hold fast to my "foundation". Imagine the person I'd be if I went str8 to FAM?

#truthis I sometimes want to be dating a black man. My total adult dating experience has been with Drew. And as "cool" as he is, he doesn't get a lot of things. I was rattled by the comments he made when reading my Essence, him not seeing the really big picture for us in regards to our 44th president, why there is a YBF and Essence, etc... it's not his fault but he obviously comes from a totally different paradigm

#truthis even though he wasn't good for me, I still think about 'him' ALL THE TIME. I don't even love this person and liked him rarely.

#truthis I'm very afraid of change. I admire people who get up and go and do but I could never imagine myself in their position. If I could do more with my life from my house, I'd be happy. But I don't want a degree from the Univ of Phoenix Online so I need to figure out what's next in my life

#truthis to piggyback off of the previous "tweet", I wish I wasn't as apathetic as I am. I just don't care about anything enough to go for it. yeah, I talk abt a master's but I'm living w/o one right? So between not wanting to rock my boat and being mostly okay with where I am...

#truthis (you guys already know this) I really don't like the Roots. or Talib (by himself)

#truthis I really miss my church in Tallahassee and haven't really been to church since Jan 2007. yeah, I've gone here and there, went in Hollywood a couple of times but from Aug 2002- Dec 2006, I must've missed 5 services at Saint Michael's & All Angels. I think I might go back to Tally for that church.

#truthis I never had a complex about my complexion. I didn't even know people had complexes till it was forced down my throat at HU. School Daze symposiums opened my eyes to some serious issues in black america. and reading this month's essence further cements my thought that WE keep it alive. not saying ignore it but do we have to talk about it every month?

#truthis I'm not an envious/jealous person. I remember the day when I got over being jealous. It was like a light switch; I said something aloud like, "Okay, no more" and that was it. To me, what's the point of jealousy?

#truthis I miss my dog Russell EVERYDAY. and I want another dog just like him.

#truthis I like jay-zee way more than I care to admit. waaaaaaay more. his wife too.

#truthis my allergy to spermicide was not the beat. I think about that dude I read the riot act to BEFORE I knew it was an allergic rx... *Kanye shrug* It was for the best in the long run cause I shole was scared to do anything for a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time!! God wanted me to be a good girl even though Satan and lust had other plans, LOL

#truthis I just assed myself out on this post.

Wedding Invites

I know weddings are not cheap. I know you're spending thousands of dollars to have your friends and family spend up to 6 hours with you. I know you're basically having a party in a tux/wedding dress.

But when I don't get an invite, I wonder about our status.

*

A homeboy of mine is getting married and months ago, he asked for my address and gave me the password to his wedding website. He's getting married this evening and I still have no invite. Clearly, I'm not going but, don't put it past me to drive some 4+ hours for a wedding I have no invite to! (brunswick).

Now the thing with invites to homeboys' wedding is I think, a sensitive one. I think it's a common conception that wedding day is the bride's day. with that said, I'm not invited to HER wedding, even though Dub is MY homie.

*

I remember the 1st of my homeboys to get married. Mr. L and his Cookie Monster. That was back in 2003 (damn, has it really been 6 years? I don't think so... or has it!?!?). I was pacing the driveway waiting for my invite. I mean, it was only the wedding of the year! Everyone from Suncoast was going to be there!! When a week before the wedding rolled around, I called him and asked, "Am I invited to the wedding? I know I'm an ex and I wasn't sure how Cooks would feel about that..."

Yeah, I asked that awkward question! Seeing it in print and being much older now, I can't believe I did that. Naivete, I tell you.

Yeah, I was an ex of the soon-to-be hubby. And can I tell you, he told me OTHER exes weren't invited but I was. As it turned out, the invites were pseudo sent out and most who were there were told to could come. It was a beautiful ceremony and a fun reception!

Next homeboy wedding... fave ex's.

Geez, I just get them ready, don't I?

I didn't get an invite but I didn't ask. That was last year so I had more tact. It turns out, the invite was addressed to me and Kitty at our apt. Neither one of us were there anymore. Kitty's sister read us the info and we made it to Daytona to participate in ANOTHER beautiful ceremony of my ex. we didn't stay for the reception cause Kitty's then (wack) beau was hungry and he didn't eat what was being served. So upset about that one cause I know it was off the chain. Fave ex is a Striker and so are TWO of his groomsmen. And bride is greek so I missed out on the serenade and strolls... ARGH!

That's what happens when you bring 1-star strays into the group...

I'm sitting here wondering what the deal will be abt Dub's wedding... was it sent to my parent's house? Is it a word of mouth joint like TWO I've been to? Or is Bride flat out hating?

Fiery Lord or Righteous?

this is a totally random post. i just stumbled on someone's twitter page and these feelings started to come forth!!!

my dad worked with a man named Idris for years. I think he was my dad's fave Rx to work with cause he'd come home with, "Idris this" and "Idris that". All through high school, I had a crush on this man and I never saw him a day in my life. One time, I called Pops at work and got, "Pharmacy, Idris speaking"... I was stunned. "Hello? Pharmacy..." I finally got myself together and asked to speak to Poppa Diddy Pop. But I totally forgot what I wanted cause I was still swooning from talking to "Idris"

*

There was this guy at FAMU name Idris. He was a Miami Boy so I knew to stay away. But there was something so intriguing about him! A smoky mysteriousness... anyway, one day at a pool party, Dris and his homies (who happened to be in the 100 so they knew Kitty) were hanging out, it was all cool and what not till Tremaine asked Kitty, "But for real, why is Adei staring at Idris?"

MORTIFIED.

I didn't know I was doing it. Well, I knew I was sneaking looks but I didn't know niggas was watching me watching him! Damn lil... all in mine! Can I have this!?!? You know I got indignant; with the, "Don't be mad I'm not watching you while you over there watching me! Watch your ass!" *LOL* I laugh now. I had to pick up my pride back then.

*

Rx Idris passed away this spring. You know I was so sad. I wanted to go to his funeral to put a face to the person I crushed on for years but come to find out, he was Muslim and was buried 3 days later, on a school day. I never got to see him :-(

*

So after my 2 Idris crushes, here comes fine ass, British ass Idris*Alba.

WOO!!! He is just awesome. Brit accent or "American" slang, he is IT!!

I used to be in love with the name Gabe... well, I still am. But there is nothing like an 'Idris' to make me blush! I so want to name my son Idris!!!

Photogs were ON IT!

Uh-Oh. This is why I say no flats after 7pm. Cause they might look like hers. You don't wanna win!!!

The next 3 are my FAVORITE shots from the party!! Those photogs were on it! These looks like some incriminating shots on GMO or FBY!!! LMAO!!!I need some funny captions...

Adei and her secret lover meet on a rooftop and share a passionate hug as he whispers something in her ear.

Adei stands coyly and smiles from ear-to-ear once she hears the good news! Stay tuned to find out what it is!

Adei and her unknown man rock out to their favorite song as he keeps her close! Spies at the event say they never left eachother's side and were in their own world!

OW!!! I love this shot!!!! I think they should play this song at their next party when I come thru...
Yes, shoes!!

Christmas So Far...

Its been GRRRRRRREAT! Well besides the fact I got in at 430am and I'm already up... it was so worth it!

So the latter part of yesterday, the part that STILL had no sunshine, I was not the one. Ba.dee.tude. I decided to go to sleep.

I couldn't sleep in my room cause Big Mini Me (freshman 15 y'all) is here and was gabbin it up on the phone. My oh so comfortable mattress topper is on my bros bed but he's here for the month and if Mom Dukes (MD) caught me lying on her bed whilst she was "cleaning" (see: making a mess to clean up) that'll be drama into the new year.

I decide to get my sleep mask, something I RARELY use cause I fall asleep so easily ANYWHERE, and sleep in the sitting room. Got my Alumni Status blanket and hit the couch; GONE!

My thing was, there is no point in trudging thru housework today when we're probably going to have to do it tomorrow. I know how md operates, I'm hip to her game... plus a cranky Adei doing housework is the last person you'd want to be around. If you even THINK about looking at the floor I just swept and swiffered, you got another thing coming! And I don't care if you have to pee, hold it till my floor dries. Then you can walk across it.

SO! I GO TO SLEEP! IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL THE "CLEANING" ACTION!

I wake, I clean, I shower, I go.

I'm in church and I start to feel better. I notice the new tapestries hanging and love them. I peep all the college students home for the holidays and wonder why the boys aren't my age. I sing Christmas hymns that I love more than carols. I hug my fly friend Dani of Dani Colored Glasses and her fly sis and their beaus. I offer the sis an xpress gift card for her red-headed boo but she says "sharing is not caring". Scrooge.

During communion, the church sings Silent Night. We turn off the lights and the ushers and acolytes light candlesticks that were given out as you walked into church. So beautiful. Not as beautiful as I remember in the past but still very nice.

So church is over and its now Christmas. What a nice way to bring in the day! Its the afterparty (is that appropro?) that had me coming in at 430am.

Its been the buzz that this restaurant/lounge is the place to be. Chat it up with a fellow parishoner and its official. I go home to change out the mary janes and sox and don a pink, black and white halter dress. Tre.cute. Although it was RAINING by the time church ended and my hair was a tad bit frizzed, I'm still fly with it. Drove, parked and walk to the spot and one of my fave homies is at the door. He says, "come child. Hold on to me." and we walk right in. Yes! No cover! Thanks Cover!

EV.REE.ONE.IS.HERE.

EVERYONE!

Yo, my crew is here of course but the dudes of the graduating class before us are in full effect! No, FULLLLLLLL EFFECT! Its always bomb when 99 dudes and 2000 chicks are around! And especially since a couple of them I haven't seen in YEARS are in the spot? Aww man, I was geeked.

What song comes on as I hug all my girls?


Get Me Bodied.

You know we cut up something serious! Then while he played a song that has a line dance to it, this dude interrupts my dance! He grabs my hand mid spin and just holds me there! I look at him like, "uh? Dancing here!" and he replies in my ear, "I just had to stop you so I can admire you."

Aww shucks. When you interrupt me for that, I can't get mad. And you're cute. But, I gotta man.


The music was banging and the DJ got into this mid 90s set and played guess?








Scrub the Ground.










Game.

Over.



Do you know what that song does to me? Well, DO YOU??

Jam does. She's Scrubbed the Ground. A party is officially hot if you play Scrub the Ground, there's no denying it! My girls and I are scrubbing the ground, killing it in stilletos and dresses. A dude grabs my hand during the "Round and round we go" part. Then the scrubbing starts and it helps that I have a tether. Thanks dude! No go away cause you're not cute.

So my song came on, cool. Then the reggae set had the 99 boys in the same frenzy the booty music has us girls. "Moah Fiyah!" and "bloodclot" had the most American of dudes reppin hard and singing every word. It was at that time I was glad Drew sent me hella mixtapes.

DJ got into a trini soca set that is ALWAYS high energy and he even bust into a haitian song that I actually like and reminds me of my graduation. Drew made a mixtape for the occasion and threw on some vintage zouk music. Again, much thanks to the Dreezyfbaby :-)

Man, the night is going by and its 3am already! Michael Jackson had me doing the City Boy Slide from Miami... Noo Edition had me Lauderdale Dropping...pulled out the Cabbage Patch during Chubb Rock, got our thug on during a khaled set that had teachers, financial analysts, med students, lawyers, and bankers GRINDIN. We are SO HOOOOOOD! Wait, take out the 'are'... WE SO HOOOOOD! That's better.

By the time 4am rolls around, its a wrap. I didn't even know we had a spot with south beach hours and I'm loving it! We all hug, I get numbers from homies whose numbers changed and find out the 99 crew will be in ATL for new years!!!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

"We pop champagne like we won the championship, mane"

And go ahead and throw that dirty J.Jones on too. I can't front, that song is hot. South Florida is about to do it big in the Peach State.


And that's my Christmas so far.

Lucky No. 7

11:17pm

I just realized something.

While sitting, thinking about my past "loves" which were really likes, lusts, conquests and defeats, trying my best to remember every "oooh" and "ahhh" that brought me closer to what I thought would and should be love, thinking about the nonchalance of that summer day to the cool and calculating night of two can play that game, what they meant to me at the time, every emotion from unadulterated joy in knowing that I got him where I want him to the deepest, darkest melancholy blue melodies, seeing that look on his face when he realizes I'm a bad, bad chick or the double take when I pass him by for what he hopes isn't the last time... with all these thoughts and numbers and dates running thru my head; first phone conversations to last text messages, I realized something.



Drew is the black man I've always wanted.


He lifts me up, always. he picks me up when I'm too gone to stand on my own. he compliments my personality in his exact oppositeness. When I cry, he doesn't get scared. When I laugh, he doesn't get insecure. when I shine, he glows. he's not afraid to talk about the future. he's a man without being an asshole. he's sensitive without being a punk. If I have a need, he has made it his MISSION to meet it. he fills out a boxer brief, rocks a button down, and sags his jeans just right.. he loves me so good, so well, so complete...


he is more than ANY of them will ever be.

SCORE!

the musical love of my fantasy life. i don't care or believe anything anyone has to say about him!! I LOVE YOU MICHAEL JOE JACKSON!!!


B.ad, Be.n, Bloo.d on the Dancefloor, D.angerous/Special Editi.on (I have both), Forev.er, Michael; Got to .Be There, HISt.ory: Past, Present, Future; Invincib.le, Music & M.e, Thrill.er/Special Edition (both), Michael Ja.ckson Anthology; tapes, records, CDs, DVDs, mp3... whatever the next medium is, i'll be there!

Who gets Martin Scorcese to direct your MUSIC video??? MICHAEL JOE JACKSON!! (its not the extended version that's on DVDs)


I remember getting the 'Ba.d' record for Christmas and asking my mom why MJJ looked white. That was back in '88.

I remember standing in line and waiting to be one of the first to get Dan,gerous. I was in 3rd grade. I danced to 'Ja;m' at summer camp that year.

waiting in line with my dad for HIStory at Be.st Buy. I was going to 8th grade. I remember stalking MT,V for the video premiere of S.cream and trying to win the guitar he smashed.

Sophomore year in college, I hit up a friend of a friend to take me to the mall so I could get Invincibl.e the day it came out. There was no line :-(


Shout outs to The Smoking Section and the Aphillia.tes for this mixtape to add to my formerly complete MJJ collection!!! and I just copped that Outskirts: lost Ou.tkast Remixes!!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!




P.S. peep that ring. that's the star i wanted!! ok, not as big...

*sigh*

"One day he will wake up and realize just how amazing she really is... and she will be waking up next to the guy who already knew."



damn.