Day Made? Check!

Your girl just got her hair done, right? Fresh mizani relaxer in this mug. Anyway, jet black hair is blowing in the wind as I'm walking from right-aid and leave it to the stoop niggas to say something.

SN: Hey Miss...

SN 2: Miss...

SN: Sweetheart...

SN 2: Sweet Miss...

SN: Chocolate...

SN 2: Sweet Chocolate...

SN: Swiss Miss

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I BUST.OUT.LAUGHING WHEN DUDE CALLED ME SWISS MISS!!!!! I had to turn around and see who deemed me Scandinavian!!! I flashed a smile and said, "Y'all just made my day!"

and then I scurried home.

I've decided to get relaxers every 4 months and keep it moving.

What's Good, Miss?

Spring time is here. Stoop snowbirds are returning to their perches. So you want to know what's good? Let me tell you.

1.

i hate ghetto people. the bitches on welfare with their wic checks taking forever at the grocery store but let's not forget their new and improved ugs, winter 2012 northfase, fresh mani and using their ifone 4... on speakerphone of course. yeah the face of welfare is actually white trash but damn it if the black people on public assistance aren't ostentatious as hell! you have four children before you reached 25 and ALL OF THEM ARE WEARING JORDANS; baby being pushed in a maclaren stroller... iCan't.

Speaking of ugs, what happened to just your standard sand colored classic boots? why does a winter boot have to have satin and sequins? and leave it to Starkeisha to get that pair and a matching set for her two daughters.

2.

our charter is being changed. well, just the brooklyn schools. priority in the lottery will no longer go to 'at risk' students. well damn. what's the point of opening a charter school for children who would otherwise be attending failing schools? 6 years of closing the achievement gap was good enough i guess.

3.

i have finally decided to do something the weekend before my birthday. Keep your calendars and stomachs open for Friday, May 4 thru Sunday May 6th. But don't keep it open for birthday cake, I want that on my actual birthday (make my cake, snitches!). I've already started on my beauty diet of vitamins, cocoa butter and a bottle of water a day. Bringing in 30 gorgeous!

4.

living soshul is going to be the death of me. you already know abt my 4-day mexican vacay i have to use before october but now i've been hitting up the restaurant deals as well. Those truffled fries I had last sunday????? OMG, I was in heaven. And let's not even talk about the baked potato soup amuse bouche, crabcake appetizer, or the most delish burger. then the fresh doughnuts with cinnamon sugar and whipped creme fraiche, AND the chocolate shortcake sandwiching salted caramel... (i don't like shortcake or salted caramel but everything else was so good, i just ate it. i tasted nothing but sea salt.) All for $30.

*weeps*

Soigne, I will be back.

I have a dozen oysters and a bottle of wine on tap, a 4 course prix-fixe dinner for two, and some tapas to enjoy this spring!

5.

yesterday evening, i text officer anderson cooper to ask him where a good place to enjoy the St. Pat's parade would be. he called me at 1030pm and I was knocked the fcuk out. What's really funny is how I just knew in my head, I sounded okay but he was clearly like, "Umm, I woke you up. I will call you in the morning."

Would you believe he called me on his way to the gym? I was like, "Sir! You're not doing the parade?! YOUR NAME IS PATRICK!" He laughed and said he's done it more than enough times, he's going to enjoy his day off.

I would find the one Irishman who doesn't drink more than a bud light and avoids the St. Pat's Day parade. No fun!

6.

me and the other 30 something teacher have decided to be in a heterosexual domestic relationship where each of us has a baby by a hispanic man. We asked Boo Thang and BeyAndre but they both grimaced, choked on air, and quite simply over-reacted to our proposition. Ew, it so would've been artificial insemination, duhhhh!

7.

I bought JJ some DVF. I'm so excited for her!!! and i'm even more excited to be that auntie! do country things with your momma's side of the family. when it comes to me and mini me, be prepared to get glamourous! The Glamourest!!! (shout out to trina!)

8.

counting down to Summer vacay! BRING IT! I EARNED THE HELL OUT OF IT!!

Liq'd Saturday

Like any and every other Saturday, I lie in bed for hours and around 4pm, get to getting. Yesterday started off a little differently. I didn't want to get up and go. Matter of fact, I was in such a bad mood, I wanted to stay home and feed myself papa jon's pizza. I cancelled plans to meet up with friends at 1st Saturday and chatted with my sister. we both decided we will get married under the radar. i used to wonder why people elope; make 200% sense now.

Anyway, around 6pm I knew I couldn't waste a precious saturday being pissed at family and in-laws so i text Lish to see what she's up to. she was with another teacher who just happened to text me at the same time. they asked what i wanted to do and i said, "The ideal place for me would be a lounge that happens to be a bakery and a bar. I want red velvet cake and red wine. I want dessert and drinks.

Well lo & behold, there is a place just like that. Well, minus the lounge vibe. The Chocolate Room in Park Slope Brooklyn was a bakery with wine (& one beer) pairings!! Are you freaking kidding me?! I can really get cake and wine only? And the cafe setting is perfect for you and a date or your girlfriends?!

I got the flourless chocolate cake with a Spanish port.

Fraser and Niles would be so proud!

The Weekender

my phone was tripping for most of the day. since it was saturday, i didn't really care. Around 10am when it went on the fritz, i said, "Okay, i'll go to ATT when i get up." Yeah, i never got up. I actually went back to sleep and didn't get up till 2 something. Phone was still frozen. Made the biggest and most delicious bowl of cereal (just corn flakes) and got an email my fave colleague (alisha) about a wing fest in brooklyn and hot chocolate fest in man. I SOOOOOO needed to be there! But that would mean getting up and getting dressed...

around 430pm, my a-hole phone was now dead. it committed suicide trying to unfreeze itself. i gchatted with alisha and we decided we're going into the city daggumit! i put on a see-thru shirt with sequined shoulders and made my way calle ocho in the upper west side for sangria and a shared plate of paella that had EVERYTHING in it... the best paella EVAAAAAAR!!! The portion was so huge we couldn't finish it but can i talk about the pulpo appetizer? the best grilled octopus i've ever had. i didn't even know octopus had fatty tissue but it was there and it was awesome; on top of a chickpea puree and a bed of diced smoked chorizo; get in my belly.

before that latin food made sweet, sensual love to my appetite, I was really thinking, "How crazy would i look with a bubble coat over a see-thru shirt? do those things go? isn't that like a coat with matching sandals?" Then I thought to wear the uniglo tank top underneath for an extra layer between me and the elements... didn't look right. Bump it, Hov said "en vogue with your skin out". Now was the time to try out my new NorthFase.

If you think I fell in love with my food, i am ENAMORED with my Upper West Side 700 Face!! YOOOOOOOOO, that is the most amazing piece of clothing I own!!!!! I love it more than my Jordans!!!!!! It was 37 degrees, drizzling snow and BLUSTERY AF when I left at 6pm. Ask me if I was cold...

Not a lick. The only part of me that was cold was the space between my boots and the bottom of my coat. So my knees were cold. Here is this Florida girl wearing a bra and a mesh top and a coat that by the way packs to less than 50% of its size. I don't know what space age technology they use but that coat is balloon light and does the damn thing! I am sooooo the biggest fan of NF!!!

I BELIEVE THE HYPE!!!

you know what hype i don't believe? the uniqlo heat tech. i had on the tights. might as well have left them off.

So after we eat and drink, we make our way to the east side. Park Ave to be exact. The Gansevoort. Rooftop is stuffy and boring, 35+ somethings. I see the Dunk Contest is on and that's the most amazing thing up there . Back down, Alisha's BF is off of work and he escorts us to the Champagne Bar.

I don't know where this has been my whole life but a bar that serves champagne is pure genius!!!! There were $6000 bottles of Cristal in my line of sight. I overheard the manager talking about this is a good time for rose champagne, etc and then he brought over a glass for me and Lish.

Cheers to the MF'in weekend.

Buenos Dias

It's 221 in the morning. Do you know where your Adei is?

1. Whitney died today. Such a shock! Everyone who was born in the early 80s loved them some Whitney. EVERYONE. Men and women. Her national anthem rivals that of marvin gaye's (I think hers is better, less "remixed") and of course she was the talent show go-to for YEARS. (Sexual Chocolate anyone?) But of course, the thing with social networks is you get some people who have to let people know they won't join the bandwagon of whatever the public sentiment is. Valentine's Day, Father's Day, 9/11; isht, even B.I.C.'s pics yesterday, there's always that one (or four).

2. Boo Thang told me he went to meet someone he met online and they went out for drinks in the upper west side. He seriously thinks dude put something in his drink cause he's never had margaritas that "strong" before. Because he was feeling weird, he didn't think he'd make it home (BK) on the train so they went to dude's house. Dude asked if he could ____ and BT said ok. When he woke up this morning, dude was trying to ____ some more and this time BT said no and left. I hate that these things happen and i've been lucky to not have any friends get drugged. I'm so upset for Boo Thang. I told him he needs to go to the police but he's trying to brush it off saying he ok'd it. "No! You were clearly under the influence..." but he's not tryna hear me. Probably cause even though he's gay, he's still a man and you don't know? men don't get raped! *sarcasm*

3. my saturdays have been AWESOME! Last week had two glasses of cab while at the BK museum and because Don Corn. died, it was an old school set the whole night. You'd've thought I never heard the Jackson 5 before! IDK, there's something about hearing your faves on loud speakers that make the songs THAT much better! even songs you don't like hit in the clubs (this timbaland, timberlake, hilson song sticks out right now...). After that, speech pathologist and another 1st grader teacher and I hit up Manhattan. I got a peach cosmo at some cool lounge near Times Square and then we went to a club. A bit housey for my taste but we had VIP/bottle service so I wasn't complaining. We know how that night ended. phone left in the cab,

4. speaking of phone, i haven't been too pressed to get a new one. although there are times when I NEED to talk to people, I can still communicate and that's all that matters. No phone makes me more accountable for where I'm going to be at what time. I have to order my steps b/c if I don't, I'm late to work or lost with no-one to call. yeah, that happened on Thursday. (It had to be thursday, didn't it?) I took my assistant out to dinner for all the hard work she does in the classroom and when it was time to go, I had no idea where I was and where I should go. I walked forever. In that part of Brooklyn, there are nothing but yellow cabs. (close to Man). I HATE yellow cabs. They know nothing about the other boroughs. I climb into one and tell him my cross streets. Nothing. I finally tell him I live in Bed-Stuy (most yellow cabs don't go there) and still nothing (I think he was faking.) He asked if I needed to go to Queens so then i ask, "Do you have GPS???" He says no. I get out and slam the door.

OH THIS IS WHY I LOST MY PHONE IN A CAB LAST WEEKEND!!! I TOOK IT OUT TO GET DIRECTIONS TO MY HOUSE FROM FUCKING MANHATTAN!!!!! BUT DRUNKY ME FORGOT TO PUT IT BACK IN MY PURSE!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH! I HATE YELLOW CABS!

So I'm walking what seems like forever in luckily, the nice part of BK. But it's cold, late and a school night. I don't know how many blocks I walk, I finally see a livery cab. I tell him my cross streets, he tells me his price, i talk him down $2 and it's all good in the neighborhood.

5. I can't wait to go home and get my car. It has been consuming my mind since Christmas break.

6. I found a salon that does relaxers for $45 ($35 on Mon-Wed!) and she's a block away from my place. Yeah, basically the opposite direction as my Domi salon. She uses Mizani... what's a girl to do??????????????????? I really don't need to relax so why should I? cause it's there! and my hair is shinier with a relaxer! and I can do roller wraps with relaxers! and my edges won't look like Baa Baa Black Sheep!!!
Y'all know I'ma go back and forth with this. It's my hair, what else am I going to talk about??

7. My principal wants me to teach kindergarten next year... IDK how I feel about that. After having a taste of 1st grade, will I be able to go back to Where the Wild Things Are???? And in NY, you can be 4 y.o. in kinder. #HolUp

8. I don't know what has taken me so long but I am soooooo ordering Ugly Betty s3 and s4 from amazon! I watched a totally random episode and it brought me sooooo much joy! Thank you B. Suarez for adding to my love of Saturday!

9. Tomorrow is brunch day. I think I will have a brunch of baked goods. There's a pie place in Park Slope (BK), my patisserie in SoHo, cookies in Midtown and Oprah's cake place in Harlem. Wait, seeing how the high will only reach 32 degrees, I need some 'strategery' on how to make all that happen...

10. I cooked last week. Ribs, baked beans, corn, cornbread. I don't think I cooked the ribs long enough (too hungry) and they make me sick. Maybe my body isn't used to pork anymore. Oysters and sushi it is.

Alright good people, this was your weekly update! XOXO :-)

lush

i'm still drunk. luckily, no hangover. unlucily, i think i left my phone in the cab. a yellow cab at that :-(

The Gays

Went to BAM yesterday for the opening of the new feminist exhibit and of course First Saturday where the third floor atrium turns into a dance floor... I met up with my fave gay who happened to move to BK the same time I did, from Florida as well. He's the one who introduced me to sushi many moons ago back when we were students at FAMU. We also attended St. Michael's AND had internships at the same elementary school in Leon County! Yeah, he was my boy. I remember when we were coming from lunch when JBB apparently followed us and got loud in his driveway. Whitman (fake name) said, "Handle your business." in such a way, I felt invincible.

Anyway, I meet up with him and of course he has "the guys" with him... omg, gay guys are the best. The house music was pumping and the men were vogue-ing left and right. I saw some GORGEOUS gays and unfortunately, a lot of unattractive lezes *shudder*. It was an okay time, glad I didn't get there too early. After the museum was when Whitman and I started to catch up. He flat out told me "This city is 70% gay, Stace. There are so many boys out here, I don't know what to do with myself. I guess you don't want to hear this though..." I laughed and told him it's totally okay; I love gay guys. To the point I wish I could date one, but with me still as a straight female, however that would work lmao. We laughed and caught up over tortilla soup and plantains at a nearby Mexican restaurant.

One thing I noticed, he is so much more open up here. Even though there was a definite homo population at FAMU, they were still closeted. Never once did I hear the word "gay" come out of Whit's mouth while we were in Tallahassee. But last night, I almost had to tell him, "honey, I know." I'm happy for him. I'm happy for people who are comfortable in their own skin.


Yesterday, I went and had sushi. The two lezes at our school invited themselves to my dinner of one. I didn't mind, it was cool to talking to people outside of my team. They too told me NYC is heaven for them. Both of them are from the MidWest (IL and MN by way of MO) and didn't come out till they moved here 3-4 years ago. How sad is that that you can't be yourself? I can definitely attest to bringing out your true colors. I'm so much more assertive here. I love it. I wonder what else I will learn nd become while i'm here for what I sense will be a season...

slightly emo stace

*exhale*

The first Saturday of the year. So far, I'm loving it. Well, I'd like it even more if I would put away the clothes on my bed but whatever, it's Saturday.


I just realized I haven't had a relaxer since Oct 23. I don't know how i feel about that. I def don't miss it but I don't want to be dependent on intense levels of heat for my hair to be straight. I think what I'm really worried about is finding a nice black salon to re-touch my hair. The last one I went to was all hype and the ones in Man are simply out of my teacher budget. I guess that answers my question: $15 root blow-outs at the Dominican salons till whenever.

I paid all my bills yesterday. Sometimes I hate it but yesterday, it felt so good. I am so blessed to only have an AmEx bill (that was surprisingly low for a post Christmas balance), car note and insurance, and cell phone bill. I thank my dad every.single.day for no student loans. Him and FL Bright Futures.

It was hard for me to come back to NY after spending time with family in NoVA and of course Florida. It was like that first day of school when I was trying to get a job with DC Public schools. I didn't cry this time; I was (luckily) so engrossed in This Side of Paradise, it didn't hit me till later. But I did cry that morning it was -2 degrees. I cried b/c people wouldn't let me off the crowded ass bus and I had to walk an extra block to get to school. I was soooooo sad.

I said I want a big blowout party for the 30th but I don't think I want that anymore. Unless it can be spent in South Florida, (at the Mayfair Resort to be exact), I just want my girls and I to eat at a fabulous restaurant and drink top shelf till our heads fall off. and if Nigella Lawson can be there, i'd be even more excited. I love that thick hoe!
Ugh, it's on a Tuesday. Which means the Sunday before is Mothers' Day which means I won't be able to do anything till the weekend after my birthday, the 11-13th.

*blink*
#wack

Anyway, I want a croissant and a cookie on this fine Saturday. Maybe a stroll thru Central Park... ttyl

Vanity

so this guy I used to talk to back in the FAMU days just asked to be my friend on FB. He's the one who after a while, I couldn't STAND b/c he loved being a light-skinned Alpha who happened to be Catholic. He was starting this up while we were talking and even used some places we'd frequent to promote on the site. I remember putting him on to chocolate martinis on V-Day then all the hoes started jumping on my drink cause they read about it on DGL... *eyeroll* he didn't even give me credit. He was a certified asshole once his lil webpage started to jump-off.

it's changed. well, it has been 5+ years, lol

Anyway, I confirmed request and started looking thru his pics. Yo, he has NOT aged well. Like, he looks OLLLLLLD. Receding hairline, crows feet, poppa belly, et al. Meanwhile, I'm here getting better with age (lmao).

I just wonder if he's looking thru my pictures and saying, "Damn, I messed that up." or "Wow, she looks really good! She's always been cute but now she's simply gorgeous!" or whatever else guys say when they realize the err of their ways, HA!

I'm a mess right now.

Next note, I think I have a really nice clavicle.

Totally random, I know.

But for real, in the pictures that people like of me, I noticed my clavicle frames my head/face quite nicely. I think it's one of those unconscious things about beauty. You know why someone or something is pleasing to the eye, but you can't put your finger on it.

Lastly, I really and truly believe with all my heart, all my girls look amazing. I don't think there's a weak link in my crew. There is no "ugly friend" in my group. Whatever your type, she's here with personality to boot.

So that's my Saturday feel good rant. I'm wearing my sweatpants, went to the salon and now i'm thinking about sushi :-) Life is good (on the weekend).

Saturday and Sweatpants

It's no secret, I love these two things so much. Nothing and I mean nothing brings me more joy than Saturdays and sweatpants. I remember waxing poetic about the two one day back in my FAMU days. My flavor of the month (or year, who's counting?) was like, "Damn, can I get some love like that? Let you tell it, you don't need anything else." I replied, "You would love me to love you the way I love sweatpants, don't you? For a split second, you really wanted to be a pair of sweatpants, didn't you?" Then I burst into raucous laughter at his silence that was so telling *LOL* He went on to call me cold or heartless, something along those lines. And you already know that made me laugh even more.

So today, nothing on the agenda. That is the true beauty of Saturday. In case you don't know me, I don't like anything set in stone. Being locked down and I would go as far to say, commitment make me itch. I think it came from all the planning I used to do when I was younger. I would spend Saturdays planning my life. Yes, in 2nd and 3rd grade sitting at the dining table outlining how everything would go. Well, man plans; God laughs. So now, I don't plan. You would think that would ruffle the feathers of a Taurus who needs constant stability but my stability comes from the other virtue a Taurus craves: comfort. Am I happy? Then I'm good. Unhappy? Something needs to change.

I still pinch myself at where I am right now. This was DEFINITELY not in my little second grade mind. It wasn't even in my 27 y.o. mind. I am taking each day at a time and trying to gauge how I feel about this place. Honestly, every day is different. On Thursday, I was ready to up and leave. Now today is Saturday and I'm okay with the infinite possibilities NYC has to offer. I try not to wonder what the next year will hold cause if I latch onto an idea too tough, it won't happen. Well, I won't say it won't happen, it just wasn't meant to be. There's a difference you know.

So what am I going to do today? Maybe buy some boots from SM... hopefully catch the lobster roll food truck... stumble into target and possibly catch a movie. *shoulder shrug* I don't know and I like it like that :-)

Some Unholy War

Yo, Amy was a straight ride-or-die chick.

Like, have you heard the lyrics to this song??

No, HEARD them?

Staggering.

If my man was fighting

some unholy war

I would be behind him

Straight shook up beside him

with strength he didn't know

it's you I'm fighting for

he can't lose with me in tow

i refuse to let him go

at his side and drunk on pride

we wait for the blow.

Do you have that kind of love for anything? To literally or figuratively take the blow? (even though it's very plausible with Amy, I don't think she's talking about drugs here.)

put it in writing

but who you writing for?

it's just us on the kitchen floor

justice done, reciting

my stomach standing still

like you're reading my will

he still stands in spite of what his scars say

and i'll battle till this bitter finale

just me, my dignity

and this guitar case

She signed her life away to this love. no witnesses, no support. but she doesn't care. would you do the same? Let's say she's talking about Blake (very likely). No-one liked him. Despite what his scars say, she battled till the finale. How would you react to a love no-one else cared for?

yes, yes my man is fighting

some unholy war

and i will stand beside you

but who you dying for?

b, i would've died too

i'd like to

wow.

wow.

it doesn't matter what he was fighting and or dying for. if he's dying for it, she's dying too. that level of unconditional love is mind-blowing to me.

To love something THAT much must hurt. Like, for real. Doesn't your heart ache with all that you would do for something? For a child, when that day comes, I'm sure. But for someone (or something) else? I don't know.

if my man was fighting

some unholy war

if my man was fighting...

Thoughts that Cement Why I May Be Considered a B

1. do ugly people know they are ugly or do they think they look normal?

2. for real, why do Africans yell their phone conversations? you don't have to yell across the Atlantic, 'talk normal' in the phone.

3. i secretly think my dad sent me to this Ghanian wedding ("as a representative of the Ks of So.Fla") to catch somebody's eye. let it be known, i don't do straight off the plane.

4. i am so in love with the color purple now. can i let you in on a secret? the color of my bridesmaid dress? the one i was hemming and hawing about? yeah, i dig it. i got it on my nails (OPI*s 'planks. a lot') and i found a wisteria scarf. and i bought an eggplant colored dress from the G A P, and then a v-neck tee.

5. i can really go for some mango salsa right now. i think i will make some this morning and tear it up this evening.

6. this guy wanted to dance with me last night. sir, i won't dance with you and let me let you know why.

a) we're at a underground karaoke bar.

b) you have on a 'VIP' tag at said bar.

c) if i look closely, i really think you're wearing a linen 'fit'.

and this was NOT the man missing a front tooth! this was someone else!

Lastly,

Yesterday, i mentioned to someone that i hadn't gotten a perm since the beginning of april and that i may skip relaxers for the whole summer. whatever the case, i talked abt a product a mostly natural friend of mine uses* and you would NOT believe the heat i got! like, i really should've ignored the person but she got me on the wrong day at the wrong time and i went in on her!

first of all, she felt the need to let me know that #TeamNatural rules state you don't advocate a product unless you've used it yourself.

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*record scratch*

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*blink, blink*

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pause.

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hold the press.

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stop the bus, i want off.

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WAIT ONE FUTHERMUCKING MINUTE.

di-?

Did yo-?

DID YOU JUST START A SENTENCE WITH "THE TEAM NATURAL RULES...

BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH, TAKE AND HAVE ALLLLLLLLLLLL THE SEATS!

after i told her where she can put those raggedy ass rules made by i guess the Boss Queen and COO of Natural People (see: some random with a u-tube channel), SHE TRIED TO DEFEND HERSELF BY SAYING, "Well maybe not rules, but there are guidelines. You know how relaxed people know to wrap their hair at night? well, there are guidelines for natural people too."

*logs off*

*she's not transitioning on purpose, she just has been working the flat iron and saw how east it was to be chemical free. it wasn't a CONSCIOUS decision, it was more a money/time crunch

Saturday with Sis

Sharlotte York, meet Avril Levign.


The world knows were 8 years apart but it still surprises me how different we are. Well, it doesn't but it's amazing how totally different from me she's growing up to be.

Yesterday, after a drama filled morning with Lyds, my sister and I spent the afternoon scouring the internets for tats. We both like tats. No surprise there. What I didn't know about my sister is that if she was white could, she'd be a tatted up rocker chick. Not neccessarily Kat Von D tatted, but lots, and lots of tats. Specifically, a tatted up pin-up girl. she's a 50s girl with edge. So maybe KVD afterall! Inside of the biceps, a message. exotic scene on the hip up to the underarm. wrists and ribcage. Not only does she want lots of tats, but she wants those roses, skull and crossbones, deadly cupcake, rocker chick tats. The only thing stopping her is the image she'd portray. If "they" get tats, they're rocker, punk chicks. If she gets tats, she's a ghetto boo.

Tis true. Black girls who are tatted up look ghetto as hell. Most of the time, they are tatted up with portraits, baby feet, panthers, paw prints, and names. If Sis were to get two black pin up girls, I can't see Quandalisha in that. Anyhoo...


After I designed my next tat (words in a certain font) and she found the pin-up girls she wanted, we started looking up makeup.

She is a MAKE-UP FIEND. I am not. Although I appreciate and adore a full face of make-up (I think Monica and Eva Long. are my make-up heroes), I can't see myself doing it AND, I'm not vigilant enough with my face to make sure I scrub off everything and therefore prevent breakouts. I know myself. I keep a bottle of waterless cetaphil cleanser next to the bed and that's how I wash my face at night. That will NOT work with foundation, bronzer, et al. Sis though? After years of doing pageants, she's only getting better. And she's not afraid to try new things. She got inspired so we decided to go to the mall. You should've seen the colors she had me trying on. Yeah, I complained about 'oh baby' but I wasn't ready to jump into 80s chic. (she got that by the way. you should see it in person). I ended up getting a berry-colored glass with little blue glitter flecks. A step up from the frosty look of years past. Oh Baby, I do thank you for your years of dedicated service to my lips. You have no idea how many men I've transfixed with you by my side. *deep bow*

Now that make-up is out the way, we started wandering aimlessly and ended up in Ebeb. Yeah, no. That store gets on my nerves more and more. Way too expensive for harlot looking crap. But, I always stop by just in case that gem some hootchie thought was too conservative is still there. That's how I scored on my NYE in ATL dress. Nope, not yesterday. And surprisingly, Sis plopped down and waited for me to justify a boucle suit. (i love boucle). That store seemed right up her alley!

We left and went into R-Den B.

Is it that I'm getting older or are the clothes getting cheaper (and not price-wise)? Almost everything in there looked like something you can get at a flea market. It has to be that I'm getting older; what was cute at 21 better not be cute at 29, I'm just saying, let's show some growth please.

As we looked and touched, something caught both our eyes. Add'tl 50% of select dresses. Ain't gotta ask us twice! we look and we both find coral dresses. I pick mine up and she says, "Ew". She picks hers up and I roll my eyes. Time for the dressing room.

We both step out and admire the other's dress. "Wow, Steph! Your's looks so good on you!" "Aww, Stace, you're rocking it!" Then we look in the huge 3-fold mirror and bust out laughing. My blousy belted shirt dress, her body hugging bandage dress. My bobbed wrap, her big curly fro. My berry stained pout, her glitterfied kisser. Then we look at each other like long lost twins do in the movies when they reunite and realize how different their lives are. Like, "Brrr, are we even related!?"

Got our dresses and walked some more. I oohed and ahhhed at the LP windows, she fawned over the tribal funky patterns in XXI. We talked and walked right into B.Johnson where she was head over heels about some cardigan with guns on it and i was loving a tiered organza dress.

When you're that far apart from a sibling, I thought you kinda grow up admiring and wanting to follow in their footsteps a little. Or not! I guess leaving for college when she started 5th grade allowed her to form her own little personality that couldn't be anymore opposite that mine.

Why Not?

I definitely just asked Raheem DeVaughn out to dinner via twitter. LMMFAO!!!! I can only hope he sifts thru all his followers, sees my tweet, and takes me up on the offer!!!

Let's say he does... where would we go?
Hopefully, he likes sushi... yeah!
and then we can get drinks... yeah!
and then we can get ice cream... yeah!

wait, no. Sometimes, my body likes dairy. sometimes, I get extra African and reject it. #NotAGoodLook

It's Saturday! I LOVE Saturdays!

Tricks or Treats

Next year, I'm finding someone's party to be at! Halloween could've been "funner" if there weren't so many gosh darn people in one place! OMG, I PROMISE all of WPB and half of PBC was Downtown last night for MoonFest! It was LITERALLY shoulder to shoulder EVERYWHERE! Is it really looking like the club on NYE right now?!?! Wow.

So we spent most of the time standing on a bench looking for RJ. Of course with a quarter million people in one place, your phone doesn't know what to do with itself... the only saving grace was I'm okay with being a people watcher and there were people to watch!

There's this one guy I SWORE was Trick Double but one of the girls Tish and I were with said, "Naw, that's his look." I still think he was TDD. I love Trick so that was a treat!

White people love Halloween like no other. They come up with some costumes!! Someone was a polaroid and taking pictures with people! when you saw it on your camera, it was plain genius! Treat!

I saw a beer pong table. I saw jerzey shore cast, I saw Dexter and various super heros. I saw a Spartan ARMY... yes, a legion of guys with skirts, breastplates, and different weapons/helmets. Sexy! Treat, Treat, Treat!

Every time I saw a good looking firefighter, I asked if the chick behind him was his girlfriend and if he said no, we took a picture. Treat!

Then there were the non-dressing scrubs who were like, "Ay! I'm on fire! Put me out!"

*blink*

You're so clever.

Or not.

Most black guys did NOT dress; and if they had something, it was a scream mask. really? Scream? from 1996? Not even jigsaw?? Waaaack.

And if our sistas felt festive, they put on some cat ears with a bodysuit. Why does it have to be the sloppiest looking chick in the onesie? Whyyyyyyyyyy?? I saw leopards, cheetahs, and panthers that should just be put down.

That's a quote for the books.

I think we would've had more fun if there was liq in our system. I'm just not a drinker like that and I had horrible drinks the night before. I can't believe I attacked Halloween sober but you live and you learn! I hope everyone had fun night, whether it was hanging at home or on somebody's street! Trick or Treat!

The Un-Fun Side

I went to church for an event and talked to the priest about my engagement. It wasn't a formal thing, just he was sitting beside me asking why I wasn't in church on Sunday and I showed him my ring. He beamed and excused me but expected me next week. Happy, Happy Joy Joy. he asked for a date and of course I don't have one yet but then Lyds (on my other side) said, "Well they won't be getting married in church, he's a Jew."

Damn.

Drew told me 'jew' isn't necessarily bad, but saying someone is 'Jewish' is better than calling them a Jew.

Father said, "That's not a problem. I've co-officiated a Jewish-Christian wedding. But you do know his parents have probably disowned him right? And what are you going to do about your children? How will they be raised? Are you converting? Is he converting?"

"We've talked about his parents and Drew has made his decision a long time ago. Children will be raised in an Episcopalian church b/c he doesn't go to temple, he was just born Jewish."

"Okay! As long as you know!"

Yeah, I do. Thanks for bringing it up.


Thursday, I spent the afternoon and evening at my brother's house. We all were excited about my engagement but of course, the tone turned serious when his family came up.

"So how are his parents taking it?"
"They aren't."
"So they won't be at your wedding?"
"Probably not"
"And what about the engagement? What family will he have there?"
"Maaaybe his sister who lives down here, but he says she's crazy and I think she's a little upset Drew made his decision whereas she listened to their parents and stopped dating her non-Jewish guy"
"Damn. That will be weird not to have your parents at your wedding. They've known about you so what's the problem?"
"I'm not and never will be Jewish. *shoulder shrug*"

It's like I'm so excited and floating but then reality SMACKS me in the face.

Drew and I have addressed the family issue. Of course I haven't shared our convos with everyone else but it always takes me for a loop when people bring it up. And because people don't even know he's NOT black and damn sure don't know he's Jewish, when they find out, the questions I myself had to finally ask, re-hash the feelings of deserted-ness.

How weird will that be to have a beautiful ceremony followed by a wonderful reception and his family is noticeably absent? I'm feeling for DFB right now. I have my ginormous family in full support and he has no-one.

Day 5- Your Definition of Love

This one is easy for me.

My def of love is Andrew.

From the time I became cognizant of wanting to find and marry the love of my life, Andrew has been there. I used to treat every guy I dated like he was "The One" (t.o.). I used to think being T.O. meant me being supportive and seeing past B.S. I thought since I liked him and he liked me, we were working thru rough patches and I was just supposed to be patient. All the while, Drew was being my dream guy.

To me, love is respecting one another. There can't be one-way love situations. You love what the person does, stands for, and says. Conversation or thoughts aren't dominated by one side cause there is a level of respect for what the other says.

Love is admiring one another. You wake up in the morning to a smooched face slobberer and it makes you smile. You get ready for a night out and you are still amazed at how good your love looks. But don't forget a donation of 10,000 pencils to an impoverished school in Africa has been made in your name calls for admiration, too. Or together, you buy enough nets for a village to ward off malaria. Admiration of looks, no matter how scary or gorgeous and admiration of actions.

Love is also sacrifice. It can be something as small as skipping a paid rehearsal to spend time with your love. Or big like doing something you just don't want to do, like move back home. Love is also letting your love follow their dreams, even if it means being apart.

Love makes you do some things. But one thing I've learned from all my dealings and then being with Drew, love isn't supposed to hurt. Love feels good. Love feels like what you've been waiting your whole life for. Yeah, there are ups and downs but like that corny behind Luther song, "I rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else"

And you know I have a couple songs to go with LOVE.

How I Know- R Hargrove

I Got You- T Lockhart (just listen to the song, it's the only I could find)

Something About Us- D. Punk

Lady in My Life- M.J.Jackson

Life is Better- Tip feat N. Jones

Where Would I Be- Kin

Groovy Kind of Love- P.Collins (remake)

Guess What?

I've been hired by DCPS!

WOO HOO!!!!!!

Keep praying for me, I need to find a school who is in dire need of a kindergarten teacher!

and I know beggars can't be choosers, but I want a school that's predominantly "minority". Like, 70% black, 20% hispanic, 10% other.

what?

30's the New 20?

Why something always got be the new-new? Can't we just appreciate where we are? Maybe even take it back? Why come Jay Zee turned 40 so now it's the new 30? Is 30 where it's at? And when Drew turned 30 the other day, why did a 34 y.o we dined with say, "It's the new 20!"?

Did I miss a memo?

Was 20 the hauteness?

Now don't get me wrong, I'd LOVE to re-live my college days, all 2,555 of them. (Well, not alllll of them.) But when Niko (RJ's new boo) made the aforementioned statement, I was INSTANTLY taken back to 2002.

*

Okay, I turned 20 in May of 2002 so sophomore year was clearly over. I just gotten word I'd be attending FAMU with my brother who just graduated from Suncoast High. In May of 2002, I got my 2nd tattoo, a star on where I guess would be an ovary. Summer 2002, my family and I drove to Hampton to get my things out of storage. I left a note for Martina and BB on a trunk. I really think we drove back to Florida without a word coming out of my mouth.

Summer 2002, the guy I was dealing with starts to show his ass. We go back and forth via snail mail. (LMMFAO) I don't even remember what was said but I come thisclose to telling him, "That's why you weren't my first like I said you were." But I knew I wouldn't be coming back to HU and I didn't want him talking iSht about me while I wasn't there. He stamps, affirms, and confirms my decision to not make my first person anyone special. I could only imagine how I would've felt if he WAS my first. Someone would've had had to die. And it wasn't going to be me.

Fall 2002, first semester at FAMU... interesting. "Does anyone have class here?" Not taking a class but social class.

One thing I did notice was how openly Greek stuff was here. EVERYTHING was claimed with two colors and two years. I thought that was cool.

I shared a townhouse with two chicks I've known forever but mostly from Suncoast. We had lots of fun. Some trying times of course but more fun like making up dance routines and watching the Best man EVERYDAY. We were also walking distance to campus. I dated a guy who was the equivalent of a Student Leader at Hampton. We went to football games together with Kim and her BF (now husband). Dee marched in the 100.

I went to an Oil Spill with Kitty and fell on the ground a lot. I wasn't drunk, there was just hella liq on the floor. Not cool. I NEVER want to fall at parties and look like "that chick". Kitty got bit in the ass. We got barked at and guerilla-style dry humped. My car got broken into and all my CDs were gone. DEVASTATED. I then decided "I don't like Ques." They weren't like the ones at Hampton. FAMU Ques were beyond nasty and uncouth. and the ones from Florida State were extra hype. I assumed they had to prove themselves cause they're crossed at a PWI. Oh Lord, there's a white one too. He wins the title for Too Hype.

Parties at FAM are called Cosmos, short for Cosmopolitans. No one knew what I was talking about when I said I wanted to go to Cabs, short for Cabarets. Oh well, they were fun either way.

Football games are BEYOND a blast at my new school. OMG, the band is the greatest. and I know a lot of people in the band so I make special requests. It's so cool to know so many people from home. I feel like I can be myself. But in classes where I don't know anyone, I'm seen as the bourgie chick. I think it's cause I intro myself as a transfer from Hampton university. well, that's what I was! I'm torn. I hated the pretentiousness of HU, the "keeping up appearances" the full out accepting of being bourgie. You don't have to be stuck up/stank to have class. People were full of themselves at HU. But then I get to FAM and the ghettoness has me shaking my head at every turn. Where am I? Where do I belong? I didn't make any new friends.

Christmas comes, EVERYONE is home. I love not having to catch US Air to come home. I HATED that airline. My hair is long again.

Spring 2003

I'm still 20. The Student Leader I was dating ships out on Valentine's Day. He's in the reserves. I meet the whole family when we go to St. Pete the week before. Cool, his mom ADORES me.

Classes happen, I have a 3.8 gpa, I'm an education major and I love it. I visit my beloved Hampton for CC's bday in February. OMG, I MISS ALLL MY HOMIES! IT'S SO COOL TO BE AROUND PEOPLE WHO DON'T THINK YOU'RE BOURGIE, BUT NORMAL!!

Basketball games are okay... they're in the gym so I feel a bit claustrophobic. HU played in the convocation center which hosted concerts and other big events. Am I really sitting on wooden bleachers like I'm in highschool? Oh well, the Pep Band is great so I have fun.

It's spring time so probates are happening left and right. Virgil crossed Kappa. Everyone is at his probate but I'm on the phone with SL's WIFEY. Yes, the guy I was dating has a main chick. I call Deanne and she can't understand a word I'm saying cause I'm wailing on the phone. She was also at Virgil's probate. She thought I was dying of pain or something. My heart was breaking as if it was made of poorly made glass. It's a bad time for me. I cut my hair for the 2nd time in my life. I look like a Supreme and I love it.

The end of March brings a wonderful party to my life. The Illustrious Champagne Sip. Kitty and I attend our first one Spring 2003. THEE best party EVER. EVAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRR! We get dressed up in ball gowns and drink champagne all night? So there. We had no idea how loose it would get. But loose in a good way, not in a Champagne Sip 2004 way. *whew!*

April comes and goes. Exams and graduation come and go. School's out, "summer" is here. SL is still calling me, trying to make things work. I answer the calls as part of my American duty to boost the morale of our military but the feeling is gone. I'm like a hollow heart when it comes to love at this time. One day he calls while I'm at Kitty's and I start fake crying to make him feel bad. I remember why I was dubbed Ms. Drama freshman year at Hampton. He starts crying. But I don't think he's faking. I end with, "Don't call me anymore! Call Shay! *click*" Then, a guy in her section (french horn) who I had been eyeing on stops by and I get him. My motto for the year? "Fcuk the World, literally."*

So that was 20 for me. If 30 is going to be the 2.0 version of that, I'll pass.

*so even though Kitty and I said we were going to fcuk the world, we didn't. *LMAO* I didn't crush on anyone again till the end of Spring 2004.

June 1

June 1st was my Godfather's funeral. This was the first one I was involved in emotionally and literally. If you remember about 5 years back, I went to my first funeral ever. It was the grandmother like figure in the guy I was dating's life. We drove to Alabama from Tally, I met the fam, I thought I was in there. Y'all might remember how that turned out.

The next funeral I attended was one of an old lady at my church. My brother was more attached to her than I was.

The last one was last March. It was my Godsister's Godmother. She was the Hamptonian who died from breast cancer. I boo-hooed at that funeral because her daughter was a junior in high school and her mom wasn't there to help her get ready for Prom or see her graduate this year. It was such a sad, sad, funeral!

But Godfather's was sad in a different way. Even though I didn't cry AS MUCH, the tears were definitely more personal. Hearing people come up to speak abt Godfather actually made me smile and nod in agreement. It was when the church choir sang a medley of the songs Godfather loved that got me slumped in my seat. Luckily, I was sitting next to my brother and he put his arm around me. I started crying and singing along with the choir. Those songs were songs I like to sing as well. Another time was when my oldest Godsister sang, "The Greatest Luv of All"... man, that song hits your heart no matter the occassion; or maybe just mine cause it feel like it should be every teacher's song.

When the pallbearers stood up to carry Godfather out, the whole family stood as well. The minute my brother and Godbrother grabbed the casket, I fell back into my seat hysterical. It was like the whole thing was just a forum on how great Godfather was but to see 12 men (yes, twelve), all who I know and 2 I'm very close with lift that rose gold coffin... it was too much. My Godfather is in there! He's really gone! He's not just sick and in his room resting! He's resting forever! Too much!

The ladies of the family followed the men with the flowers. Me, other Spencer Lakers, and friends of Godsisters' wiped our tears and left the church with glorious white lilies, roses, and mums. As I was walking out, I was not surprised but lovingly amazed at all the familiar faces I saw in the church and outside. What was really comforting was all the classmates we had who were in attendance. The guys from our highschool's GDP were there and some of their mothers. I've known some of them since elementary school and the others since freshman year and we are all pretty much one big family but it was still nice to see and hug them.

The ceremony at the memorial gardens... the actual placement of Godfather in the mausoleum (that's the wall, right?), seeing the immediate family place roses on his casket before it was fitted into and sealed forever...? The roughest. I've never been the the gravesite before. It's so... final. I was sobbing in the arms of a Spencer Laker and Stanley was crying behind his shades with his fiance holding him... man.

The repast was a lighter mood, I caught up with a 99er who's in med school and chatted it up with his mom who I've known forever. Just found out she's a Rattler! Mostly everyone present had some form of FAMU nalia on their car and I heard someone talk about The Moon (a club everyone goes to). Nice dinner then we left to rest. I tried to take a nap but the time escaped me. It was time to go back to the house. People were eating, drinking, smoking cigars, playing music and dominoes... a nice atmosphere. I caught up with another Spencer Laker/99er who's doing the music thing. We talked and talked. It was nice. He shared with me the death of his oldest sister and what Godfather was on the other side of the hospital door literally with open arms for him to cry in. It was the first and only time he cried for her.

The time came for me to leave, I had to go to work, it was the 2nd to last day of school. I should've called in cause apparently, I looked as bad as I felt. Oh well, that's life and death.

I plan on going to Godparents' house today. Now that the week has passed and everyone is gone, I'm sure she'd appreciate the quiet company.