"I'd like to call up Angela and Danielle to the front... these two ladies are spending their last Sunday with us because one is moving to New York and the other is moving to California! Let's pray for them and wish them all the best!"
*applause all around*
Our Father? Cannon? What ever he is made an announcement similar to that abt 6 weeks ago. I was beaming with pride cause Dani clued me in several weeks before it all happened and I was soooo happy to see it come to be. The other one, *shoulder shrug*. I just "feel" for the liturgical ministry we'll be missing. (sarcasm)
During the peace time of service, one of the ladies I actually like* at church scurried over to me with great concern. Her face was painted with worry as she started to speak, "Angela and Dani are leaving! You're not going anywhere, are you?"
I was touched; smiled to show my appreciation and assured her I wasn't going anywhere. "No, I'm staying right here." She gushed and hugged me. "Good."
The minute I got home, I started applying to school districts in northern virginia and Washington, D.C.
*
What crossed my mind the split second after I was happy someone was worried I was leaving was, "Why can't I go?" It seemed like everyone was able to go on with their lives but I have to stay where I am? No, I don't have to stay, but it was highly recommended and strongly suggested I keep the "good" thing I have going. It started with my father "putting his foot down" when he found out I was moving out last year. Then at the end of the school year, he was all with the "So things are looking good... you don't need to go anywhere. You have your tenure, why lose that and start over wherever you're going?" etc.
You already know mom was upset I moved out last year. It took me flying to Texas for interviews for her to realize I'm really moving on with my life, 3 years after she persuaded me to come home after graduation. But when I was walking down the street in Arlington, she called me and wished me the best cause she knew it was time for me to grow up. Let's see how she takes my pending move to the DMV... it seems like I always have something up my sleeve when she's gone.
Believe it or not, my brother has not been the most supportive of my ideas to move. I'm sure in his head, he's being concerned but with questions like, "So if you move but don't get a job in DC, how will you pay your car note?" (that was the latest, there were tons more when TX was on the horizon), he makes me feel like I'm a dreamer. Maybe I do come off as a dreamer cause I've been talking a big game abt moving every summer. But people don't know what goes on in my head that prevents me from leaving.
Martina said it best once, "I know you like to keep details to yourself so stop me if I'm asking too many questions...". She's right. I've learned to keep certain things to myself. Why? Cause when I talk abt it, it doesn't seem to happen. Remember all that talk of moving back to Tally for grad school? Yeah, the whole neighborhood knew abt it (I only told Stan who told his friend and the rest his history) and it was hell getting questioned abt why I was still in WPB the following school year. "Not enough students applied so they won't be having that major this year." Then the pseudo sympathetic look...ugh.
Whatever the case, despite the haters and even the lovers who really want what's best for me and think it means staying right here, I have a support group of friends near and dear to my heart who have been praying me up. I'm counting on them and myself to make this the year I do ME. I can't stay here for you. I can't help with Koko, I can't join ECW. I can't do faux long distance, I can't be a club sponsor. I can't live with my parents, I can't do City Place. I'm too big for this big village. I love you, WPB but I love me more.
* regarding the women at my church; I speak to all of them, I tolerate many, I like very few.
