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"No, you don't understand...

...I neeeeeeeeeeeed to meet your parents."

It's common knowledge that as soon as my sister graduates from college (possibly grad school), my parents will be on the next thing smoking to Ghana. Okay, not IMMEDIATELY afterwards but as close as possible. Seeing how she's graduating a year early and jumping right into grad school, I can see them being in Ghana Sum 2013.

(they'll be the equiv of snowbirds... 3/4 of the year there, 3 months here)

It is for this reason (and a few others) that I've been wanting to meet DFB's parents. My parents won't be here in a few years. I'm a totally okay with that cause we've known forever they will retire "back home". But I what about my new set of parents that live two exits away from me? Can I see them from time to time? If not, let me know STRAIGHT UP.

And there in lies the REAL problem. For as long as I've been with DFB, I know I've addressed meeting his people. His response is always, "Yeah, ok." or "Soon." or something "safe" that leads me to believe I will one day meet his parents SOON. It's been four years dating and eons as friends. WTF, dude? I sooooo would've rather you told me, "They are not comfortable with my decision to not be with a Jewish girl so until they come around, don't plan on meeting them." DONE! No speculation, no limbo, I would've known where I stand and why I stand there! How you found yourself...protecting me...(?) didn't work cause now I'm more upset WITH THIS RING ON MY HAND. Do you know how foolish I feel never meeting the family of the person I am going to marry? Especially when he has been telling me I will meet them?

As friends? I guess.

As a dating couple? I let you push it under the rug.

As an engaged couple? No mas.

I canNOT go any further. Your definition/perception of soon and mine don't meet. I cannot and will not set myself or our future children for failure. I grew up with no grandparents. Not fun. They might as well not even exist to me. I can google my grandfather; great, the whole world knows what I know abt him, FACTS and STATS. No personal stories or ties to any of them. Is that going to happen in the next generation? A set of grandparents who are nothing but ghost stories told by Dad? Do they even exist? Can we see them?

"Soon."

i'm still alive

i love being in the black.

i haven't had to dip into my saings acct (see: other checking acct) since before christmas break. i am very happy abt that and can't wait for my savings acct to grow as a result.

i moved out. the utter foolishness that resulted towards the end of my trip to denver just pushed me over the edge. more on that later.

seeing my sister's natural hair has me considering going natural again. yeah, no. it's not my thing. but i would like to go longer between re-touches so I will figure something out in 5-6 weeks.

y'all, make sure you're ready to get married. it's not just getting a ring, having a ceremony and then everything is hunky-dory. I thought I was ready but I realized I wasn't. and there is the HUGE issue of family that DFB and I have YET to tackle. I can't believe it's this hard. As usual, I waver between not giving a fluck and losing my ever living mind abt it. but really, I just need some closure on the subject, either way will be fine.

I need to start planning next school year NOW. No more waiting till summer. If only I know where I want to be in 7 months, grrrrr.

so i'm an aries now? Psssssch. that's the last sign I want to be.

I'm getting back into cooking. I've very excited about it

last but not least, I do miss DFB. very, very much.

He usually comes over in some basketball shorts and shower shoes.
Has on one of his thousands tall tees that foote locker should be fined for "inventing".
He usually doesn't do anything for Christmas, no matter how I feel about the day .


On Christmas night, he came rocking a long-sleeve Polo similar to one I got him last year.
Some dark rinsed jeans that weren't skinny and def not baggy, just right.
Some COGNAC colored meve stadden dress shoes that look AMAZING on his size 14 foot
And he brought 12 gifts for the 12 days of Christmas.












Why I gotta be out of your life for you to get right?

Here's to a year of "get right". For both of us.

Christmas Menu

When Lyds sprung the menu decision on me, I had no idea where to even begin. I turned on the tv and Robin Miller was making a quick fix meal of turkey tenderloin.

Hmmmm, so we can have turkey without the big bird to-do? I'm there! She had hers with a mango lime dressing which I will be making as well.

Now we love us some ham so a brown sugar glazed one is on deck.

then the sides

green beans sauteed in garlic, EVOO, and butter
shallot smashed potatoes
cornbread stuffing
yellow rice (Africans gotta have their rice!)
fresh shucked white corn with orange and red bell peppers
spring mix salad

I's excited!

Cray-Cray

Why does the season bring out the crazy in people?

Why did someone I'm related to get so far out of pocket, all I could do was blink?
Then when I called my bestie to vent, I didn't even have words.

Raise your hand if you own a house? *hands in pocket* Raise a hand if you WANT to be your own landlord right now right now? *sits on hands*

I'm not ready to be responsible for ANYONE but myself right now.

How come the Christmas dinner menu was just sprung on me and my sister? So in other words, me? I'm not sure if she's improved since she left for college, but last I checked *MICROWAVING*... *TURKEY* bacon... (yes, that awful combination) doesn't count as cooking. *shudder*

Why is someone else I'm related to PRESSURING me to call DFB over so we can "talk things out"? All the talking has been done; don't you get too far out of your pocket now...

All I want for Christmas is... semblance.

Holiday!

Today was the last day of school before winter break! Much needed rest and relaxation on deck! Well, starting after tomorrow cause unfortunately, I have a funeral to attend.

The woman we called Grandma (b/c ours are, you know, in Ghana... and don't speak english.) passed away last week and her service is tomorrow morning. When I got the news, I asked my mom if she told my brother. He doesn't take bad news very well and of course, I was feeling for him. In addition, he took to Grandma Mc more than my sister or I did. During his turbulent middle and high school years, he would go to her house and decompress. Then that Sunday, she'd wag her fingers at the family and tell us "not to mess with [her] Stanley". *sigh* I'll be fine, I hope he will be, too.

Now the next thing I'm going to share with you canNOT, CANNOT be shared with anyone else! Do not come on my FB page and mention it, don't tweet, don't drum, don't pass no notes, NADA! It is a surprise and I am beyond excited about it and I will be sooooo mad if one of y'all hoes ruin it! How? I don't know the world is small.

I'm going to Denver for New Years.

Yes, I will be in COLOfuthermuckingRADO at the end of this year and the beginning of next year! How outrageous is that?! And how random?! If you know me, you'd know I have moments of impulsiveness and buying a plane ticket last Sunday was a moment! I text a homie, "what are y'all doing for NY?" and he said, "drinking." "Can I join you?" "... ... HELL FUCK YEAH!"

I bought my ticket and that was that!

Now here's where the surpise comes in. Homie is married to my friend. She was a kinder teacher who up and moved two years ago. She.has.no.idea. she thinks HIS friend is coming to town! She will PISS herself when he sends her into DEN to get Phil but I'm standing there with the biggest poop eating grin!! OMFG, I soooooo can't wait!

Now you see why you can't say isht on FB? I'm at the point where I'm ignoring her calls cause honestly, I'm not good with secrets. I love sharing what's going on with my life with y'all! And this is def shareworthy! But don't say NUFFIN till the 31st :-)

This year, I have most of my presents done. I have a feeling Jameil will get hers before the New Year! HAHAHAHAHA! Now I just need to physically get mom and dad's. Half the battle was done when I figured out what to get them. Yaaaaay!

Is that it? I really don't have anything else to share! Happy Holidays!

Dear Santa

Hey Homie!

How you been? Tis your season! Don't work to hard but please see that I get something from my list. I've been very good. At least at work, I've been. Personal life? Don't hold "heartbreaking" against me :-(
So here's my list!

A pair of flat brown boots. Steve Madden has a pair called Internn that I think I like. 7.5 please.

Headbands. I don't like flowers/blossoms. I like bows and stones. Feathers are cool, too. Big band, skinny band, doesn't matter.

Books. Off the top of my head, I want 'Rosencr.antz and Guildenstern are Dead'. That play was so hilarious to me! I can also go for 'Death of a Sales.man', 'Christ Stopped at Eboli', 'The Meta.morphosis', (hardcover preferrably)and any Eric Carle book you like to add to my classroom library.

Thank-you for sending your elf, Jameil, to get me every season of SATC and the movie! OMG, some of the best times in my condo were spent watching hours of that show at a time. You're never alone when Carrie, Miranda, Sam, and Charlotte are around!
Now even though I heard it was hor-ree-blay, I would like SATC 2, just to complete the collection.

While on DVDs, I need MJ's "This is It", all seasons of Gossip Gurl, and seasons 2+ of NipTuck. Oooooooh! GON HEAD AND THROW...damn, what's that vampire show I got sucked into watching this summer...? TRUE BLOOD!!i I WANT TRUE BLOOD ON DVD!

J-Zee's catalog, 808 & <3breaks, Nee-Yo's catalog.

Anything from VSPink that's FAMU or Dallas Cowboys related :-)

What I Learned from Him (1)

i just went to the laundry room to start my second load of laundry and I saw some camo peeking from under a basket. I bent down and saw it was the 'hot weather cap' from PVC C. L. WHITE.

Wow.

he was my first boyfriend at FAMU. He was my (equivalent of a student leader) tour guide during TOPS (total orientation for parents and students) who caught my eye. 6 foot, 230? I'm there. We started dating at the end of the first football game. Yes, he asked me out old school style at the end of a football game. LOL, it was actually cute.

What led to our demise was another woman. I think I was actually "the other woman". I remember that spring 2003 day, I was truly heartbroken cause I couldn't believe that someone would NOT treat me the way I had been treating them. I take the "Golden Rule" very seriously!!

Whatever the case, he was Army reserve and activated in Feb 2003. Went to iraq and everything. made it back in one piece only to die on the operating table.

Yes, he is dead.

I have an ex who is no longer with us.

When he got back from Iraq, he went back to school, crossed Que and was seemingly back to normal. With a combination of not (having to) tak[ing] care of himself and medication many of our vets are put on to re-acclimate them to civilian life, C. L. was a candidate for gastric bypass surgery. It was on the table the world lost him. Not on the front lines, not from an IED or suicide bomber. Here in the States.

Holding his hat for the first time in some years, I was flooded with the memories we shared. They were good at first and I only wish we ended on a good foot cause I really liked his family and they loved me. We talked about the future (I believed him) and I saw a future with him. What shook me as I put on his hat like I used to do Fall 2002 was "What If...?"

What if we jumped on that marriage before war bandwagon and wedded before he was deployed. I'd be a widow.

What if I was still in the picture, even as a friend to tell him, "C Dub, let's go for a run."

What if...

I told you this story cause there is someone I love DEEEEEEEAAAAARLY who is overweight. Yes, it's Drew. He's beyond the range I like. By 20+ pounds. I don't want him to be on someone's table and not make it. During our time apart (yes, we're taking break) I told him what I'm going to do and he asked, "Well what should I do?"

Work out. Not just for you, for me.

the unspoken rift

we're at a standstill.

ummm, i really don't know what is going on. i know i've expressed how much fun i'm NOT having and the feeling is getting stronger. things have changed. what was not awesome before seems to be magnified. such a weird dynamic.

and it's beyond the reality of a day hitting. the reality of forever is what's getting me.

on one hand, you say, "everything in due time"

but something in the back of my head is SCREAMING, "it took too long"

*hangs head*

Random Thoughts

The one thing I like abt my cycle is how my cup size goes up. I'm like a good A.5 right now. Looks hot in the v-necks. Too bad I don't feel that way.

While on the topic, is it safe to leave "artillery" (what I call fem products) in the car? The heat won't denature anything? I don't want asbestosis on my lady parts.

And STILL on the topic, why did I go to the master bathroom and find a box of liners from 1982!?!?!?! Kanye said it best, "put that p^$$* in a sarcophagus"

So one of my fave homies works for NAS.CAR and got me and Drew access to the last race in the series (Homestead). I have no idea what we got ourselves into. I do want to go and check it off my hypothetical list of things done in life. (Attend a NASCAR race). I do wonder what Craig Mack would do in my case...

The commericals with a random man (dos xx and oldspi.ce) are too funny! We need more anonymous people.

My class makes me want to have children. Seriously, when I work one-on-one with the babes, I marvel at their little brains working and making connections. the lightbulb makes everything worth it :-)

Guess who's the sponsor of the new and improved Cooking Club??? Yeah, another teacher pestered the hell out of the principal and she brought them back. Yesterday, we made carrot-banana bread. Yep, me and 24 2nd-5th graders! Nope, I've never made it before that day. They came out ok!! Possibly too much stirring but you can't ask children not to stir!

I had a talk with Lyds. I think everything should... *fingers crossed* be ok planning wise. All my favorite girls are on board and I'm chipping away at ceremony/reception sites! I's getting excited! Esp when Jam decides to come down! Aaaaaaaah!

Drew said his parents will prob be at our wedding. You have no idea how happy I was when he said that! Now let's schedule a meeting between now and June... Baby steps?

My hair has lost its mind. But, it's getting done tomorrow. I can't wait. No more depending on bobby pins to hold together my self esteem.

Yo, that dress I wore this past Saturday? Straight up disrespectful. It mocked me. I felt like sophomore year after spring break when ALL my jeans and underwear happened to shrink in the dryer... bastards. I swore up and down it was the super hot dryers fault... till my roomie pointed out my face did the opposite of shrink, Texas bitch. I'm kidding (abt calling her a b!. She was one of the nicest people at HU!)

Football was good to me this week. Cowboys won, Giants lost, steelers lost, Vick/Eagles (mostly Vick) won. Dude straight up solo gang banged the Skins. How do you want it? I'll run it, I'll pass it, I'll hail mary it, how you want it? I got it. Gimme dat.

Even though I have two different dress styles in mind, I'm going for the fun party look. Sheath says, "demure". It doesn't say "fun". My brother likes the one I like too! He's so cute, he told me about a nice wedding he saw where I'm thinking of wedding... awwww!

Whyyyyyyy, is there a lady at school who prints out everything she's doing for her daughter's wedding (april 2011) for me? And she asked what size I am in case I was close in size to her daughter who got married last October. Ummmm, thanks but no thanks?!

Who can't wait for Thanksgiving break??? I can't wait for T-Break! even though I know it's going to be some madness...

I'm out!

What am I 'posed to be doing right now?

Again, I thought I'd be having more fun at this time...

I DO however, have a renewed vigor in planning b/c Ricardo is back! I get it from my daddy! His energy is what I need right now, not Lyds faux martyr approach of "not wanting to get in the way"... really? You usually are very imposing ANY OTHER TIME...

Dani Colored Glasses helped me find some dresses online. I LOVE her immensely for that cause in case you don't know I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!!! And the MSW checklist said I'm behind on EVERYTHING! Makes me not want to go back and see what a failure I am :-(

This weekend, I'm going to a jewelry party and possibly a bridal store with the 10-10-10 bride whose BMs were everything I wanted. Their dresses and jewels made me so excited! Lyds was like, "Calm down!" I think I was jumping up and down a little bit, while you playing...

So Drew's neighbor is a photog; an AWESOME one with whom I've spent HOURS talking to abt the art and can spend hours not talking at all, just admiring his work in albums and on his walls, right? I'm going to ask him to take our e-photos. I'm hoping... *fingers crossed* he will find it in his heart to gift us e-party and wedding day shoots!!!!! HAHAHA!

MSW says I need my website up and running. I asked DCG's lil sis who did hers and it's the same person who did their photos... can I just get her to be my web mistress? I mean, the photos were great but I want to ask Drew's neighbor for photos and Chelsea for web techniness. Drew's neighbor JUST got a cell phone... and JUST got a digital SLR. I don't think he's doing websites.

Another photo op, a teacher I used to work with is married to this guy... ummm, HELLLLL YEAH!!!! I am a fan of his wedding port, but not the biggest fan of his e-photos... how does that work? Whatever the case, photos are a big deal so I'm doing my research on that!

Speaking of e-photos, I asked the boy if he wanted to do them,

D: (hesitantly) "Do you want to?"

Me: (matter-of-factly) "Don't answer a question with a question. Yes or No?"

D: (whiny) "Daaah, I don't want to do anything! But if you want to, we will."

Me: (terse) "Whatever."

So I thought having free reign would be fun... it's not.

Tricks or Treats

Next year, I'm finding someone's party to be at! Halloween could've been "funner" if there weren't so many gosh darn people in one place! OMG, I PROMISE all of WPB and half of PBC was Downtown last night for MoonFest! It was LITERALLY shoulder to shoulder EVERYWHERE! Is it really looking like the club on NYE right now?!?! Wow.

So we spent most of the time standing on a bench looking for RJ. Of course with a quarter million people in one place, your phone doesn't know what to do with itself... the only saving grace was I'm okay with being a people watcher and there were people to watch!

There's this one guy I SWORE was Trick Double but one of the girls Tish and I were with said, "Naw, that's his look." I still think he was TDD. I love Trick so that was a treat!

White people love Halloween like no other. They come up with some costumes!! Someone was a polaroid and taking pictures with people! when you saw it on your camera, it was plain genius! Treat!

I saw a beer pong table. I saw jerzey shore cast, I saw Dexter and various super heros. I saw a Spartan ARMY... yes, a legion of guys with skirts, breastplates, and different weapons/helmets. Sexy! Treat, Treat, Treat!

Every time I saw a good looking firefighter, I asked if the chick behind him was his girlfriend and if he said no, we took a picture. Treat!

Then there were the non-dressing scrubs who were like, "Ay! I'm on fire! Put me out!"

*blink*

You're so clever.

Or not.

Most black guys did NOT dress; and if they had something, it was a scream mask. really? Scream? from 1996? Not even jigsaw?? Waaaack.

And if our sistas felt festive, they put on some cat ears with a bodysuit. Why does it have to be the sloppiest looking chick in the onesie? Whyyyyyyyyyy?? I saw leopards, cheetahs, and panthers that should just be put down.

That's a quote for the books.

I think we would've had more fun if there was liq in our system. I'm just not a drinker like that and I had horrible drinks the night before. I can't believe I attacked Halloween sober but you live and you learn! I hope everyone had fun night, whether it was hanging at home or on somebody's street! Trick or Treat!

Randoms

I know you guys think I'm kidding, but I really do wonder what Craig Mack is doing right now and like I did on Twitter, I do wonder, "What Would Craig Mack Do?". It's soooooo random but he was the first victim of Diddie so I worry about him :-(

i've taken up to running. I would rather do conditioning (the whole nine; weights, sprints, balance, agility, etc) but seeing how I don't play an organized sport for a university, that's out. I do miss the gym and having a trainer...

speaking of working out, someone said we're going to play tennis this weekend. If not, I'll continue to get my solo run on.

i've started waxing again. It's amazing to not have to worry about unwanted hair for 3 or more weeks at a time!

we've narrowed it down. Summertime. LAWD, be a cold front!

who here knows how I feel about deadlines?? Planning a wedding doesn't mesh with me... all I know is I want dark pink fabulousness. oh yeah, and a gray dress.

School isn't fun right now. I don't like pressure... I'ma flip out one day...

the political ads that simply DOG the opponent piss me off. I tweeted about one that was simply, "If you like Barack, you'll LOVE (gov candidate)." are you freaking serious?!?! THAT'S what we've come to!?!? and you know there are STUPID people out there who don't know what the fluck is going on but now know NOT to vote for someone cause an ad used psychology on they dumb asses!!!

woosah.

when a person pisses me off to no end, I call them a ninja and I qualify it with their race. "I know this white ninja did NOT ignore my question!!!!!!!!" yes, I've called DFB that a few times. One time, to his face.

I have a grown up costume for Halloween this year!!! I thiiiink, you can click my 'pix' tag and see what i wore 4 years ago. It was not a game!

My favorite ex and I keep in contact. We are the only other person each other knows who loves MJ as much as the other does (did that make sense?). I was thinking about him this morning and guess who sent me a text? Fave ex! I then told him, "I wish we lived closer! We'd be awesome friends and couples!" He replies, "Hell yeah! More ig'nant than 50 Tyson! Y'all should move!" #ChileBoo. The next place I'm moving is to a tower overlooking somebody's water! wait, that can apply where he is... okay, next place I'm moving is the M-I-Yayo!

Art Ba.sel Miami Beach is coming! I's so excited! I LOOOOOOVE visual art!! and my last issue of W mag had a ginormous article on America's most important art show!! woo hoo, can't wait! We haven't been since 2007; that needs to be fixed asap-edly!

speaking of art, I think that adds to my LOVE of Kan. He can do no wrong in my book. People like to ride on him cause he's wearing a red v-neck with hella chains but who else would have the guts to wear that? I LOVE him for that!!! Just cause you're in "hip hop" doesn't mean it has to be jeans and timbs/af1s, stop with the pigeonholing. although I didn't like the song he did on SNL, i LOVED the performance. so simple!

nevermind, people just think you drank the Ye kool-aid if you like what he does. real talk, he's up there with Barack. DON'T TALK ABOUT MY PREZ OR MY 'YE!!

I plan on getting WBW this weekend. We know what happened last time I did that... I found myself an(other) WB admirer. a marine one. BTW, we google chat once in a while... bless his crazy heart. I told him I was engaged before I put it on FB and he said I broke his heart. *snickering*. You're doing the most right now. THEE.most.

I'm ready for my hair to be long again. It was growing like wildfire when I was in the salon every 10 days... but i can't be spending money on frivolity anymore! I gots to put some away for you know, that thing I'm having sometime in the summer... LOL!

Is it too soon to try on dresses? Jam and I are ready to fly to NY and stop by kleinfelds. Anitra, we'll layover in DC and you're coming with. Dani, meet us at 133rd and White Plains. *BREAK!*

Chic-fil- a made me feel better after my trying afternoon that included ig WW, data entry, unsupervised children, and CRYING.

I don't do crying.

Today should've been Friday.

Another Page in K.I.R.

Keeping It Real

I thought this time would be filled with me tasting cakes, playing in chiffon, and comparing shantung fabrics.

It's not.

I'm in a funny place. From my previous post, you know "we" have some family issues that have been discussed but not really resolved. Now that a wedding is in the future, the topic of them is sure to send someone off the deep end. I already feel like I'm walking on eggshells with him.

But then there's my side. My side who came out in surprising DROVES for my brother's wedding. My side, who when I called with the news of my engagement, was already planning for a trip to south florida (and that's without a date). My mom's sister in Strong Island, her sister in UK... my dad's brothers in BX, VA, and So. Fla who are THEE most excited.

THEEEEEE.most.

I'm the oldest grandchild on my mom's side so I really think my grandfather will make an appearance (from Ghana)... and my British cousins on both sides.

Then there's friends, family, classmates. I'm not having fun trying to figure out how to pull off something both of us will appreciate and keep my sanity.

The wedding websites overwhelm me. So much to do!

I'm over bridal mags. The last two I bought were underwhelming (Brides and MSW). I found a couple dresses I like, (two silhouettes, ball gown or sheath) so I just have to try them on and keep it moving.

and then of course there's life. You know, bills, work, immediate family... *sigh*

She's cool one minute, not awesome the next. Where's my daddy?

How do bride-to-bes do this? Life has to go one while you plan this ONCE IN A LIFETIME event!

The Un-Fun Side

I went to church for an event and talked to the priest about my engagement. It wasn't a formal thing, just he was sitting beside me asking why I wasn't in church on Sunday and I showed him my ring. He beamed and excused me but expected me next week. Happy, Happy Joy Joy. he asked for a date and of course I don't have one yet but then Lyds (on my other side) said, "Well they won't be getting married in church, he's a Jew."

Damn.

Drew told me 'jew' isn't necessarily bad, but saying someone is 'Jewish' is better than calling them a Jew.

Father said, "That's not a problem. I've co-officiated a Jewish-Christian wedding. But you do know his parents have probably disowned him right? And what are you going to do about your children? How will they be raised? Are you converting? Is he converting?"

"We've talked about his parents and Drew has made his decision a long time ago. Children will be raised in an Episcopalian church b/c he doesn't go to temple, he was just born Jewish."

"Okay! As long as you know!"

Yeah, I do. Thanks for bringing it up.


Thursday, I spent the afternoon and evening at my brother's house. We all were excited about my engagement but of course, the tone turned serious when his family came up.

"So how are his parents taking it?"
"They aren't."
"So they won't be at your wedding?"
"Probably not"
"And what about the engagement? What family will he have there?"
"Maaaybe his sister who lives down here, but he says she's crazy and I think she's a little upset Drew made his decision whereas she listened to their parents and stopped dating her non-Jewish guy"
"Damn. That will be weird not to have your parents at your wedding. They've known about you so what's the problem?"
"I'm not and never will be Jewish. *shoulder shrug*"

It's like I'm so excited and floating but then reality SMACKS me in the face.

Drew and I have addressed the family issue. Of course I haven't shared our convos with everyone else but it always takes me for a loop when people bring it up. And because people don't even know he's NOT black and damn sure don't know he's Jewish, when they find out, the questions I myself had to finally ask, re-hash the feelings of deserted-ness.

How weird will that be to have a beautiful ceremony followed by a wonderful reception and his family is noticeably absent? I'm feeling for DFB right now. I have my ginormous family in full support and he has no-one.

First Day

Due to all the excitement, i didn't go to bed till 4am. And in true to Adei fashion, I woke up sometime before 8a. caught up on twitter, emails, sent out more emails and texts, watched MikeNMike. Drew was knocked out after two shows and the nerves of proposing. He finally woke up around 9am and we decided we'll get breakfast on the water after running a few errands. Errands done, we take the long way to get to Hollywood Beach by driving thru the neighborhoods. I felt like we were little kids dreaming of the day when we could live in a "mansion".

We had breakfast on the water and decided the nap we were going to take was going to be epic. Go home, nap, wake up and decide I need a case for my new iTuch. To the aventura mall it is! Apul store is of course bananas so we just walk around. I tried on a couple dresses Drew saw in window displays at maxStudio and Barney's... DVF has a leather jacket i NEED in my life!! We pass wet seal and the window display has a racer girl costume! OMG, I wanted it but saw they had female prisoner, two kinds of Ms. Officer, french maid (how original), firefighter, bar wench, etc. I try on the racer girl, the prisoner, and the firefighter. Drew LOVED the same one I did so I got it! I'm wearing it to a Halloween party this Friday!!!!! Pics coming soon!

We walked some more, decided Bebe is more miss than hit, there are a lot of high end latino shops in the mall, and we should look at apartments...

!!!!!!!!!!!

We check out a couple towers that look absolutely amazing!! When I say check out, I mean drive-by, lol. We also decided to get oysters in Brickell for happy hour so we weren't trying to do any tours. Who wants to live here!?!?!??! *RAISES HAND!!*

We make it to HH and are debating on half off sushi rolls or half off bar food at a high end bar. Oysters trump toro so we go to the River. The bartender gets Drew a Toddington and I order a white russian, mine was AWESOME! We then get the oyster po boy sliders to start...






heaven







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earth.




Soooooo cementing my want for an apps only reception!!! O.M.GAWSH those things were amazing!!! We contemplated ordering another plate (there were only 3) but decided to start on the oysters.

We've already had fanny bay and kumamoto so one to the next ones. We like east coast (bigger, saltier) more than west coast (smaller, sweeter) but are open to anything. We order three kinds, 4 each. First time down, just raw. We want to know how they taste unadorned. Cotuits from MA were SALTY as the fluck. I cringed and had to drown the next one in this cucumber wasabi dressing that is only at River. AWESOME dressing for oysters!! The cucumber is so mild and absorbent of whatever quality can be harsh.
Dabob oysters from WA were very good by themselves and even better with mingonette sauce. We converted to west coast off of that one! The lesbian couple next to us reccommended them and I thanked them profusely. On my side of the bar was a lady who Drew thinks is a high end gypsy. She was def European so I deduced Spaniard. She only eats oysters.

her explanation was fried food doesn't do her body well and it has grown accustomed to raw food so that's what she feeds it. and she drinks mingionette sauce. Yes, champagne vinegar and diced red onion is what she takes shots of. Wow.

I don't remember the names of the 3rd one or the other 3 we tried the second dozen Drew ordered. And they change daily so looking on the menu today will do me no good. I do know I got another drink, this time a Greyhound (grapefruit and vodka). That hoe bartender squeezed the liquid equivalent of a supreme into my cup and the rest was vodka. I was drunk. I was nice off the russian but by the time it was time to leave, I was wobbly. and giggly.

Drew and I make it home and I change into the gray nightgown he got me!!! Woo hoo!!! I love my gray nighty and I'm SOOOOOOOO wearing a gray wedding dress!!! He finds the aux cable and we listen to kanye's goodfriday releases from my itoones. I fall off the bed trying to rewind a line in Power remix. Yes, I was that chick who fell off the bed after two drinks. We laugh our asses off and I take to tweeting my engagement. I'm just glad I didn't make it onto FB that day cause I'd still be fielding phone calls!! Before I wrote "All my old guys know I'm the one who got away", I asked Drew if he thinks he's the one who got away from all his exes. he says, "Hell yeah! I'm a good guy!" We high five cause i think i'm a good girl for all my exes and THEN I tweet.

I'm in the silliest mood and I'm tripping myself out about the past 24 hours. Then I fall asleep! HAHAHA!

Recap- breakfast on the water, nap, window-shopping at mall, apt gazing, happy hour oysters + drinks, kanye, sleep!

Stace, Wake Up!

Drew and I went to Bonita Springs for a Caribbean Fest he was playing in. It was cool, the city itself wasn't all that but we went and came right back. We got back in time to watch the rest of the Cowboys game and we were both watching, on edge. OMG, as you may or may not know, we lost and lost STUPIDLY. One of the announcers said it perfectly, "The Cowboys have been beaten again, by the Cowboys."

I was so upset at the last play that I literally put myself to sleep. Some 3 hours later, Drew starts fidgeting around, hugging me, kissing my un-wrapped head, and telling me how much he loves me, asks if I love him, who loves who more... mind you, I'm still asleep for the most part; head under the covers, fetal position. "Do you love me, babe?" "Yes, darling you know I do." "Ok, good, cause I love you too." "That's nice." I'm trying to sleep and he shakes me, "Hey, hey, turn around." "What? I'm sleeping!" "Wake up, turn around" I turn my head to face him, squinting cause i'm not awake yet, "What?????" "I love you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"

He puts the ring on my finger and I start laughing uncontrollably! Like, rolling around on the bed, wiping tears out of my eyes LAUGHING OUT LOUD. "ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!??! ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW!??! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" "So is that a yes??" "YESSSSSS!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA YOU ARE TOO MUCH! THIS IS TOO FUNNY!! DAMN, I'M AWAKE NOW! Awww babe, you're too cute!!! HAHAHAHA!!"

When all the laughing was done, he told me all the different ways he thought about proposing. He thought about using other people's children, putting inside of a cake, putting it on my finger while I was sleeping... then he realized the time was right (me sleeping?????) and he went with it. I'm play-play mad my hair was all un-wrapped, nails weren't done and I was half asleep but he said that it was perfect cause I went from zero to 100 in 5 seconds flat and he actually liked that I was drowsy. Weirdo!

Then we ordered sushi as usual and ate, he left for his show on SoBe, I called my mom and Jameil, chatted with Dani and decided to blog about it!

Now what's "weird" is that I thought I'd be on every social network screaming from the rooftops, "I's engaged!! FINALLY, IT HAS HAPPENED TO ME, RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE AND I JUST CANNOT HIDE IT! (I loved CeCe Pen). But I called 2 people, chatted with one, and sent out a few emails to a couple more. No tweets, no FB status update or profile picture of a left hand. I think I'm scared of EVERYONE being all in my business and I've heard the stories of people assuming/inviting themselves to your big day... no, not I.

What's also funny is that Mommy and I pored over my T&C Wedding mag yesterday morning over tea, pancakes and turkey sausage. I showed her all the pages I tabbed and we commented on likes and dislikes of every page. I've only done that with Jam and only felt comfy doing that with her yesterday. Then 24 hours later...!!!

So yeah, now the planning begins!! OW!!

I Don't Understand

I don't know what's wrong. I am very happy right now. Believe it or not, I thank the Lord daily for not sending me to DC. Yeah, I was devastated when the school started but I honestly feel like this year is going better than any I could imagine. From a professional point of view, I am elated.

From a personal p.o.v., I go back and forth. I'm pretty much cool with being at home cause it allows me to take care of bills with ease. I can do whatever I want when I want to. I have a car I love and I'm doing well with, my credit score gets higher as I finish off little remnants of college, and my peoples are better (I think) than they have been in the past.

I think I'm in a good place. I appreciate where I am cause I'm sure it's where I should be.

So whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy isn't anyone else happy but me? I am comfortable in my own skin and situation, why are you "embarassed" (her words)? What haven't I done that is crushing your soul? I didn't buy a house. But I don't want a house. I really don't want to own a house right now. I don't want a lawn, I don't want HOA fees, I don't want any of the things that come with homeownership RIGHT NOW.

I don't have an advanced degree yet. Lord. Why doesn't anyone listen to me when I say I would give myself 3 years to get my tenure and then go from there? It took me 2 schools, 2 majors, 7 years to come out with something I was happy with. I didn't want to be a pharmacist. I'm sorry I disappointed you by changing my major but deal with it. I am happy doing what I do. Why can't you be happy for me?

Last but not least... fuck it. I don't even want to talk abt it anymore.

Cheaters

Have you ever watched that show? Why is it so hilarious? But at the same time so sad? I'm wondering if I could've been on an episode...

So you know I have a crusher. That's my term for someone who crushes. Yes, TM really likes me after one incident of dancing the night away and a couple games of bowling. And me being me, I don't encourage crushers but I def don't crush them either... am I an enabler??

Whatever the case, for week 3 of partying with the WBs, RJ, Tish, and I were supposed to go karaoke-ing. What ended up happening was me and TM playing pool. Yep, just us two.

Now in MY head, I don't like him like that. He's a bit off from various injuries, he's a vet, he smokes his medicine pretty much all day, he's just visiting for a month or two, etc. No reason to start anything even if I was single. Oh yeah, he has an ex-fiance and an ex-wife. Sir.

I regress. I don't like him. I don't want him. I do appreciate the attention b/c of what's going on in my personal life (will talk abt later) and I honestly just have fun with him. I see it as the beginning of a cool friendship with the opposite sex. But, I know TM doesn't see it that way and I can only imagine how DFB would see it if he was watching me on video from an unmarked van.

We shot a couple games of pool, of course he whooped my arse cause he's good at everything, he drank a mug of beer, I had water... I started getting hungry so we went to a nearby bbq restaurant. We ordered and ate and left. Then went to DD for a chocolate craving he needed to fix. Oh yeah, your boy LOOOOOOOVES chocolate. More than any guy I've ever seen. All kinds of chocolate too. o_O

We sat outside of DD while he talked abt some Marine stuff, things he did his freshman year at WVU before he joined the Corp, the fact you can give him ANY weapon whether he was trained on it or not, from bow n arrow to rocket launcher, and he can hit the target in 3 or less shots, from its MAXIMUM range (I thought that was a scary cool piece of info), talked about how he spent a whole month stalking, hunting, and trapping a top 10 villian so that was 30 he did not shower...his italian mother and his german father, etc. He found it remarkable I called him an "Axis baby" and thought I was even better cause I'm cute and smart. The whole time he's talking and stuffing his face with coffee and dough, I'm thinking, "I hope nobody I know happens to show up... that'll be fcuked up." Because I started feeling guilty abt what I was doing even though on the other side of that coin, I knew I wasn't doing anything, I got up and said, "okay, I have to go now."

My question to you readers, was I wrong? I'm on the fence with myself. My definition of cheating is surprisingly liberal and I will def talk abt that in another post cause the TM issue is far from over. But talk to me abt opposite sex friendships, can you make new ones or is someone getting set-up for the okie-doke?