L Boogie

When It Hurts So Bad is playing in my head so hard right now.

Make it stop.

Thru It

That's what I'm going thru.

A teacher at my school was fired on Monday. Integrity issues.

My question remains: what kind of place do we work at where people feel the need to cheat? Data driven instruction or just data driven?

I've been called out several times for my "low data" but guess what? My class is LEARNING. These 6 & 7 year olds don't care abt Eva and her previous system; how the system looks to the public... They want to learn and I'm going to teach them.

It's re-hiring meeting time. She wants me in kindergarten but she won't give me responsibility for my own students who aren't making the grade. Yeah, for guided reading, she feels like another teacher is better suited to teach the below grade level students, the ones who are still at a kinder level...

Wait, what? I taught kinder, will teach kinder next year but can't teach the ones at a kinder level right now?

Oh, ok.

FOH.

Day Made? Check!

Your girl just got her hair done, right? Fresh mizani relaxer in this mug. Anyway, jet black hair is blowing in the wind as I'm walking from right-aid and leave it to the stoop niggas to say something.

SN: Hey Miss...

SN 2: Miss...

SN: Sweetheart...

SN 2: Sweet Miss...

SN: Chocolate...

SN 2: Sweet Chocolate...

SN: Swiss Miss

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I BUST.OUT.LAUGHING WHEN DUDE CALLED ME SWISS MISS!!!!! I had to turn around and see who deemed me Scandinavian!!! I flashed a smile and said, "Y'all just made my day!"

and then I scurried home.

I've decided to get relaxers every 4 months and keep it moving.

Miss Me

I miss teaching kindergarten at a regular school.

I miss getting relaxers.

I miss wearing open toed shoes.

I miss wearing jeans.

I miss my car.

I miss having my own place.

I miss the Mayfair Resort.

I miss the DMV.

So what am I going to do about it?

What's Good, Miss?

Spring time is here. Stoop snowbirds are returning to their perches. So you want to know what's good? Let me tell you.

1.

i hate ghetto people. the bitches on welfare with their wic checks taking forever at the grocery store but let's not forget their new and improved ugs, winter 2012 northfase, fresh mani and using their ifone 4... on speakerphone of course. yeah the face of welfare is actually white trash but damn it if the black people on public assistance aren't ostentatious as hell! you have four children before you reached 25 and ALL OF THEM ARE WEARING JORDANS; baby being pushed in a maclaren stroller... iCan't.

Speaking of ugs, what happened to just your standard sand colored classic boots? why does a winter boot have to have satin and sequins? and leave it to Starkeisha to get that pair and a matching set for her two daughters.

2.

our charter is being changed. well, just the brooklyn schools. priority in the lottery will no longer go to 'at risk' students. well damn. what's the point of opening a charter school for children who would otherwise be attending failing schools? 6 years of closing the achievement gap was good enough i guess.

3.

i have finally decided to do something the weekend before my birthday. Keep your calendars and stomachs open for Friday, May 4 thru Sunday May 6th. But don't keep it open for birthday cake, I want that on my actual birthday (make my cake, snitches!). I've already started on my beauty diet of vitamins, cocoa butter and a bottle of water a day. Bringing in 30 gorgeous!

4.

living soshul is going to be the death of me. you already know abt my 4-day mexican vacay i have to use before october but now i've been hitting up the restaurant deals as well. Those truffled fries I had last sunday????? OMG, I was in heaven. And let's not even talk about the baked potato soup amuse bouche, crabcake appetizer, or the most delish burger. then the fresh doughnuts with cinnamon sugar and whipped creme fraiche, AND the chocolate shortcake sandwiching salted caramel... (i don't like shortcake or salted caramel but everything else was so good, i just ate it. i tasted nothing but sea salt.) All for $30.

*weeps*

Soigne, I will be back.

I have a dozen oysters and a bottle of wine on tap, a 4 course prix-fixe dinner for two, and some tapas to enjoy this spring!

5.

yesterday evening, i text officer anderson cooper to ask him where a good place to enjoy the St. Pat's parade would be. he called me at 1030pm and I was knocked the fcuk out. What's really funny is how I just knew in my head, I sounded okay but he was clearly like, "Umm, I woke you up. I will call you in the morning."

Would you believe he called me on his way to the gym? I was like, "Sir! You're not doing the parade?! YOUR NAME IS PATRICK!" He laughed and said he's done it more than enough times, he's going to enjoy his day off.

I would find the one Irishman who doesn't drink more than a bud light and avoids the St. Pat's Day parade. No fun!

6.

me and the other 30 something teacher have decided to be in a heterosexual domestic relationship where each of us has a baby by a hispanic man. We asked Boo Thang and BeyAndre but they both grimaced, choked on air, and quite simply over-reacted to our proposition. Ew, it so would've been artificial insemination, duhhhh!

7.

I bought JJ some DVF. I'm so excited for her!!! and i'm even more excited to be that auntie! do country things with your momma's side of the family. when it comes to me and mini me, be prepared to get glamourous! The Glamourest!!! (shout out to trina!)

8.

counting down to Summer vacay! BRING IT! I EARNED THE HELL OUT OF IT!!

Liq'd Saturday

Like any and every other Saturday, I lie in bed for hours and around 4pm, get to getting. Yesterday started off a little differently. I didn't want to get up and go. Matter of fact, I was in such a bad mood, I wanted to stay home and feed myself papa jon's pizza. I cancelled plans to meet up with friends at 1st Saturday and chatted with my sister. we both decided we will get married under the radar. i used to wonder why people elope; make 200% sense now.

Anyway, around 6pm I knew I couldn't waste a precious saturday being pissed at family and in-laws so i text Lish to see what she's up to. she was with another teacher who just happened to text me at the same time. they asked what i wanted to do and i said, "The ideal place for me would be a lounge that happens to be a bakery and a bar. I want red velvet cake and red wine. I want dessert and drinks.

Well lo & behold, there is a place just like that. Well, minus the lounge vibe. The Chocolate Room in Park Slope Brooklyn was a bakery with wine (& one beer) pairings!! Are you freaking kidding me?! I can really get cake and wine only? And the cafe setting is perfect for you and a date or your girlfriends?!

I got the flourless chocolate cake with a Spanish port.

Fraser and Niles would be so proud!