He usually comes over in some basketball shorts and shower shoes.
Has on one of his thousands tall tees that foote locker should be fined for "inventing".
He usually doesn't do anything for Christmas, no matter how I feel about the day .


On Christmas night, he came rocking a long-sleeve Polo similar to one I got him last year.
Some dark rinsed jeans that weren't skinny and def not baggy, just right.
Some COGNAC colored meve stadden dress shoes that look AMAZING on his size 14 foot
And he brought 12 gifts for the 12 days of Christmas.












Why I gotta be out of your life for you to get right?

Here's to a year of "get right". For both of us.

Christmas Menu

When Lyds sprung the menu decision on me, I had no idea where to even begin. I turned on the tv and Robin Miller was making a quick fix meal of turkey tenderloin.

Hmmmm, so we can have turkey without the big bird to-do? I'm there! She had hers with a mango lime dressing which I will be making as well.

Now we love us some ham so a brown sugar glazed one is on deck.

then the sides

green beans sauteed in garlic, EVOO, and butter
shallot smashed potatoes
cornbread stuffing
yellow rice (Africans gotta have their rice!)
fresh shucked white corn with orange and red bell peppers
spring mix salad

I's excited!

Cray-Cray

Why does the season bring out the crazy in people?

Why did someone I'm related to get so far out of pocket, all I could do was blink?
Then when I called my bestie to vent, I didn't even have words.

Raise your hand if you own a house? *hands in pocket* Raise a hand if you WANT to be your own landlord right now right now? *sits on hands*

I'm not ready to be responsible for ANYONE but myself right now.

How come the Christmas dinner menu was just sprung on me and my sister? So in other words, me? I'm not sure if she's improved since she left for college, but last I checked *MICROWAVING*... *TURKEY* bacon... (yes, that awful combination) doesn't count as cooking. *shudder*

Why is someone else I'm related to PRESSURING me to call DFB over so we can "talk things out"? All the talking has been done; don't you get too far out of your pocket now...

All I want for Christmas is... semblance.

Holiday!

Today was the last day of school before winter break! Much needed rest and relaxation on deck! Well, starting after tomorrow cause unfortunately, I have a funeral to attend.

The woman we called Grandma (b/c ours are, you know, in Ghana... and don't speak english.) passed away last week and her service is tomorrow morning. When I got the news, I asked my mom if she told my brother. He doesn't take bad news very well and of course, I was feeling for him. In addition, he took to Grandma Mc more than my sister or I did. During his turbulent middle and high school years, he would go to her house and decompress. Then that Sunday, she'd wag her fingers at the family and tell us "not to mess with [her] Stanley". *sigh* I'll be fine, I hope he will be, too.

Now the next thing I'm going to share with you canNOT, CANNOT be shared with anyone else! Do not come on my FB page and mention it, don't tweet, don't drum, don't pass no notes, NADA! It is a surprise and I am beyond excited about it and I will be sooooo mad if one of y'all hoes ruin it! How? I don't know the world is small.

I'm going to Denver for New Years.

Yes, I will be in COLOfuthermuckingRADO at the end of this year and the beginning of next year! How outrageous is that?! And how random?! If you know me, you'd know I have moments of impulsiveness and buying a plane ticket last Sunday was a moment! I text a homie, "what are y'all doing for NY?" and he said, "drinking." "Can I join you?" "... ... HELL FUCK YEAH!"

I bought my ticket and that was that!

Now here's where the surpise comes in. Homie is married to my friend. She was a kinder teacher who up and moved two years ago. She.has.no.idea. she thinks HIS friend is coming to town! She will PISS herself when he sends her into DEN to get Phil but I'm standing there with the biggest poop eating grin!! OMFG, I soooooo can't wait!

Now you see why you can't say isht on FB? I'm at the point where I'm ignoring her calls cause honestly, I'm not good with secrets. I love sharing what's going on with my life with y'all! And this is def shareworthy! But don't say NUFFIN till the 31st :-)

This year, I have most of my presents done. I have a feeling Jameil will get hers before the New Year! HAHAHAHAHA! Now I just need to physically get mom and dad's. Half the battle was done when I figured out what to get them. Yaaaaay!

Is that it? I really don't have anything else to share! Happy Holidays!

Dear Santa

Hey Homie!

How you been? Tis your season! Don't work to hard but please see that I get something from my list. I've been very good. At least at work, I've been. Personal life? Don't hold "heartbreaking" against me :-(
So here's my list!

A pair of flat brown boots. Steve Madden has a pair called Internn that I think I like. 7.5 please.

Headbands. I don't like flowers/blossoms. I like bows and stones. Feathers are cool, too. Big band, skinny band, doesn't matter.

Books. Off the top of my head, I want 'Rosencr.antz and Guildenstern are Dead'. That play was so hilarious to me! I can also go for 'Death of a Sales.man', 'Christ Stopped at Eboli', 'The Meta.morphosis', (hardcover preferrably)and any Eric Carle book you like to add to my classroom library.

Thank-you for sending your elf, Jameil, to get me every season of SATC and the movie! OMG, some of the best times in my condo were spent watching hours of that show at a time. You're never alone when Carrie, Miranda, Sam, and Charlotte are around!
Now even though I heard it was hor-ree-blay, I would like SATC 2, just to complete the collection.

While on DVDs, I need MJ's "This is It", all seasons of Gossip Gurl, and seasons 2+ of NipTuck. Oooooooh! GON HEAD AND THROW...damn, what's that vampire show I got sucked into watching this summer...? TRUE BLOOD!!i I WANT TRUE BLOOD ON DVD!

J-Zee's catalog, 808 & <3breaks, Nee-Yo's catalog.

Anything from VSPink that's FAMU or Dallas Cowboys related :-)

What I Learned from Him (1)

i just went to the laundry room to start my second load of laundry and I saw some camo peeking from under a basket. I bent down and saw it was the 'hot weather cap' from PVC C. L. WHITE.

Wow.

he was my first boyfriend at FAMU. He was my (equivalent of a student leader) tour guide during TOPS (total orientation for parents and students) who caught my eye. 6 foot, 230? I'm there. We started dating at the end of the first football game. Yes, he asked me out old school style at the end of a football game. LOL, it was actually cute.

What led to our demise was another woman. I think I was actually "the other woman". I remember that spring 2003 day, I was truly heartbroken cause I couldn't believe that someone would NOT treat me the way I had been treating them. I take the "Golden Rule" very seriously!!

Whatever the case, he was Army reserve and activated in Feb 2003. Went to iraq and everything. made it back in one piece only to die on the operating table.

Yes, he is dead.

I have an ex who is no longer with us.

When he got back from Iraq, he went back to school, crossed Que and was seemingly back to normal. With a combination of not (having to) tak[ing] care of himself and medication many of our vets are put on to re-acclimate them to civilian life, C. L. was a candidate for gastric bypass surgery. It was on the table the world lost him. Not on the front lines, not from an IED or suicide bomber. Here in the States.

Holding his hat for the first time in some years, I was flooded with the memories we shared. They were good at first and I only wish we ended on a good foot cause I really liked his family and they loved me. We talked about the future (I believed him) and I saw a future with him. What shook me as I put on his hat like I used to do Fall 2002 was "What If...?"

What if we jumped on that marriage before war bandwagon and wedded before he was deployed. I'd be a widow.

What if I was still in the picture, even as a friend to tell him, "C Dub, let's go for a run."

What if...

I told you this story cause there is someone I love DEEEEEEEAAAAARLY who is overweight. Yes, it's Drew. He's beyond the range I like. By 20+ pounds. I don't want him to be on someone's table and not make it. During our time apart (yes, we're taking break) I told him what I'm going to do and he asked, "Well what should I do?"

Work out. Not just for you, for me.

the unspoken rift

we're at a standstill.

ummm, i really don't know what is going on. i know i've expressed how much fun i'm NOT having and the feeling is getting stronger. things have changed. what was not awesome before seems to be magnified. such a weird dynamic.

and it's beyond the reality of a day hitting. the reality of forever is what's getting me.

on one hand, you say, "everything in due time"

but something in the back of my head is SCREAMING, "it took too long"

*hangs head*