Heart to Heart

Pops and I went to dinner yesterday. Nothing extravagant; just Chicken Tropical... we were there for a good 2+ hours listening to the world music they had going on, people watching and of course, talking.

He touched on 3 subjects that have been on his heart.

He doesn't think me moving to TX would be the best for me... or him.
"In this economy, unless a school district is paying for your relocation, gives you a signing bonus AND finds your housing, I wouldn't feel comfortable you just upand heading to texas cause you 'love texas'". I graduated from Northeastern, up and left for Florida and was miserable. Mommy was pregnant with you in Boston and I was practically homeless in Florida. I don't want that to be you. I can't, in good conscience let you drive off to Texas without a plan. And I know you're paying off your credit card bills and you're helping out with Steph... Secure a job, think about it."

He wants to know what's going on with "Hollywood". I told him at the end of the school year, I'll either be in Hollywood or Texas.
"Have you discussed your concerns with Andrew? Have you even met his parents? Ok, they're super Jewish. We're super Ghanian! If his parents are the reason why things aren't progressing as fast as you thought they would, you guys need to talk about it. maybe you guys would be better as friends. I know you think you can just leave things at the end of the year but you need to talk to him. Guys don't think they way women do. He might think everything is okay and obviously, you don't. Tell him you have plans and goals for your life, you guys aren't 18, 19 years old so the dating thing is getting old. You're going to be 27, its not like you all don't know eachother, he's definitely welcome and comfortable with our family if his family isn't the same with you..."

my dad is too perceptive.

Plus, it seems my situation is the family topic. My uncle in New York wants to know if I need him to talk to Drew or if he should just go ahead and find someone else for me. No, thanks Uncle. *eye roll* as if I needed more pressure

Lastly, about 2 weeks ago, I broke down and told my dad how hurt I was by my brother when we were in Tally. I think I deleted those posts but some of you may remember what was going on. The shoe is on the other foot and bro asked me to do something for him. I did it cause that's the type of person I am but something Pops asked me opened floodgates on something I haven't talked about since Fall 2006. I was bawling about how a short 2 years ago, my own blood broke my heart and did me wrong. About how the tables have turned, about how if this was 2 years ago and I asked Bro to bring me something to eat, or borrow money cause I don't even have a quarter to make a call on a pay phone... my request would've met with a swift and harsh NO. I was sad cause I like to think that its all in the past but I two weeks ago it call came back like it was yesterday.

My dad wants us to be as tight as he and his siblings are. I can't see past 2 years ago. When I was at my lowest and needed the closest person to me, he damn near spat on me. I couldn't even call my family in West Palm to tell them I needed help. NO house phone, no cell phone and I wasn't allowed to use either one of Bros cells. He had two. He was throwing parties and making money and I was literally counting PENNIES to put gas in the car so I could make it to school and work.

You know what? I need to go. This isn't even about me and Pops anymore.