the beholder (draft from Mar '12)

my first question about my looks came when I was in middle school. and even then, it wasn't about my looks, it was about my skin.  puberty hit me and my face showed it.  luckily, my dad was able to get me the prescription of what we now know as OTC persa-gel and that kinda kept things under control.  well, not really, whatever. it was middle school.

in high school, i was considered "cute with an underlying sexiness."  I don't know how that combination comes about cause all i can picture is a baby chick wearing a garter belt. that's cute and sexy at the same time, right?

college. when I actually began to question BEAUTY. what makes someone beautiful? unfortunately in the black world, you can't talk about beauty without talking about skin color.  I mean you can but it always comes down to a debate and then we have to have a forum and then we have to watch school daze and then and then and then...

there was a day when i was trippin because i thought i was outside of the loop when it came to beauty. then i realized that is not the case because beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  corny, right? not to me.

i have NEVER questioned my beauty, and yes, i think i'm BEAUTIFUL. of course there is someone who probably disagrees with me but guess what? he or she matters not. and THAT'S where TRUE beauty stems from, within.

i just want to SCREAM maya's poem 'rise i still' at my friend who doesn't think she's beautiful.

it hurts me that she's hurting because some people (who matter not) decided to share their thoughts with her.  i don't even know how she came across them. well, I do. I have a couple naysayers in my side of the woods, but he's been dismissed cause he doesn't know what he's talking about :-P