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Saturday, August 25, 2012

Do You Know Who I Am?!


went out for drinks with a guy who saw me devour loaded tacos.  he's gotta be good if I was eating the unsexiest food ever and he wanted to see me again.  whatever the case, dude thought he was being "deep" when he started talking about people with tattoos. I let him talk and then I showed him two of my four.

foot-in-mouth.

but what really IRKED the isht out of me was how he tried to be impressive and I saw thru all his bullshit.

someone passed by holding d.brown's angles and deemons.  this fool starts waxing poetically about an author named garcia marquez who wrote a book with the same title...










Y'all.












Y'ALL!

RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU KNOW WHO MY FAVORITE AUTHOR IS


Yes, you in the middle... that's right, G. Garcia-Marquez. Green treat for you.

Me: actually, the title of his book is 'Of Love and Other Demons'

Him: oh, you're familiar. There's another book by him I love... the main character, I forgot his name... he stayed in his room for 6 months. When he came out, he said, "The world is round like an orange." Ha, ha, the world is round like an orange.

Me: *blink*
Jose Arcadio Buendia or Aureliano Buendia?

Him: ...
I forget which one.

Me: It was Jose.

Him: wow, you really know your stuff.

Me: Gabe is my favorite author. Are YOU familiar?

Him: I really like Love in a Ti-

Me: that became a movie, everyone likes that one.


He quickly changed the subject to talk about himself.  "I've been to 50 different countries.  You like to travel?"

Me: *knowing smile* Yeah, I do. My summers are usually filled with flights.

Him: ah, have you ever been to Africa?

Me: Three times.

NEXT SUBJECT

Him: I own houses here and in Europe.

Me: oh really? where?

Him: upstate and long island.

Me: oh what part?

Him: You're probably not familiar... Middletown.

Me: BWAHAHAHA! I'm actually familiar with M-Town!! I've been to visit a college friend several times. Stuart Regional Airport, right? and what part of Long Island?

Him: Harris

Me: Never heard of that... I ride the LIRR all the time, I have family in Brentwood.

Him: you're something else. Have you ever been sailing? I have a boat. I love to sail to Cape Cod.

Me: yeah, used to go sailing in Nantucket when I was younger. I'm from Boston.  Now, I prefer yachts, but sailing is cool.

okay, that was me being a itch-bay but he was getting on my nerves.  WHO ARE YOU TRYING TO IMPRESS?! NEXT SUBJECT!!!

1 returned the favor:

Jameil said...

HAHAHAHAHA!!! I haaaaate name droppers! And how are you trying to impress people but you don't actually know your stuff??? Also, you KNOW Love in the Time of Cholera has been one of my faves since forever! Stop hatin! Now, I prefer yachts, BUT SAILING IS COOL. HAHAHAHAHA!!!