love languages

Toni had this book that captured my attention with its cover. I don't know about you, but I judge books by them. The title was simple: The Five Love Languages.
I read, studied, took notes, and heed.

1. Words of Affirmation.
Encouraging, kind, humble words. Love requests, love doesn't demand.

2. Quality Time
Undivided attention, genuine conversation of not just speaking, but hearing as well; togetherness

3. Receiving Gifts
Gifts and money or gift of self (physical presence)

4. Acts of Service
Doing things wouldn't neccesarily do as an act of love.

5. Physical Touch
Implicit or explicit


After reading about the different languages, I tried to figure out which one I "spoke". Not the touchy feely type, #5 was out. Born with so much swag, my hair got game, #1 was out... after further discussion and thru everyday conversation with Toni, we figured out that I am #3. I feel love thru gifts.

Few people know how horrible my holiday season was and after reading the book, it all made sense. I was DEVASTATED I got nothing for my anny or Christmas from Drew, brother, or sister. Like, "boo hoo crying, taking hella advil and benadryl to get rid of splitting headache and go to sleep" devastation. "Eyes still puffy the whole next day" devastation. All I wanted was a token of appreciation; it didn't have to be expensive or grand and no-one thought enough of me to get even, a card.

One year, my FAVORITE Christmas gift were colored bobby pins my sister got for me. I just cut all my hair off and she truly surprised me with something less than $2 from Claire's.


Last night, after watching back to back football games with Drew and his crew, I was headed to bed. When I got there, there was a pink hibiscus on my pillow. You would've thought I just hit the lottery. So geeked off of that little token of love. Didn't cost anything but meant so much to me.


Most guys think they are #5 Physical Touch but that might not be the case. True, men are more prone to be physical than emotional but don't be surprised to find the guy who just wants you to share the couch during the game, whether you're watching or not. Or the guy who LOVES how you picked up his dry cleaning for no reason. Or the guy who beams like a kinder when you tell him, "damn baby! You look so good!" You might be thinking, "who doesn't like all of these things?" but one is def dominant and make it your mission to figure out what language you and yours speak.


My mom is an Acts of Service person day in and day out. She holds grudges if you didn't do something for her and will sulk in misery cause you didn't volunteer to iron her dress. I am learning to do little things for her and we'll see how this year goes.

I get my confidence from my dad but I still think he's a Words of Affirmation guy. I'm sure in a household with 12 kids, praise didn't go around freely and I do see him glow when I compliment him on a wonderful wardrobe choice or cool music selection.

My brother. My fragile brother who has this demeanor of having his ish together and being self assured... def depends on what others say. If its negative, you can bet that pisces is headed downstream. If the words are encouraging, the request is humble, (now) he will go all out.

My sister, I have just figured out, is a Quality Time person. She wants you to be there. I think she's still hurt my mom didn't attend many of her softball games but come to find out, mom probably didn't go to the games b/c mini me didn't take out the trash before she left BECAUSE mom didn't pick her up from practice the night before BECAUSE... you see where I'm going with this.
Softball, cheerleading, stepshows, tryouts... we'll see what I can make this semester.

Now my Drewski speaks Physical Touch. It used to annoy the HELL out of me how touchy feely he was. Either I've gotten used to it or he's calmed down... nah, I've gotten used to it. I have to constantly be touching him or vice versa. Holding his hand, rubbing his belly or back, massaging his head, forehead kisses, hugs... he gets despondent if I push him to his side of the bed cause its too hot to be all up on me *shrug* what? I'm in Florida where its 76 degrees at night! But yeah, my Drew needs the PT.

Its really cool finding out what makes your loved ones feel really loved. You could be keeping the cleanest house for your man and he still spends his time somewhere else. You could be showering her with gifts and she's still not happy. Take the info I read and make your 2009 great!