Paging super man

I've been dealing with a guy since July, right?  It's been cool, fun, chill, all the above.  He's a giants fan so you know we talk isht any give.nSunday. His fave is Mos and Tribe so we can literally sit and listen to music all night. Then one day, my spidey senses go off.  I've had this feeling before. I remember feeling this with CMF (charming muhfuh) AND Thesaurus Rex.  Like an idiot, I ignore my instincts. a few weeks pass and eerily like CMF, I spot his and her items in the bathroom.  A venus razor, lavender bath pouf, and dove body wash. My heart stops then starts racing. "Wait, what's going on?" I ask myself.  "Is it 2005 again? I'm too old for this."  I think to revert to Adei of yesteryear and start fcuking isht up but I'm 30 now. I just move things around. I hang the lavender pouf on the shower head and move the venus raze to the quattro razor dock. I reeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaally want to squeeze out all the dove body wash and fill it with water but I center myself and move it to the front of the bathtub. I go back to the front room, grab his face with one hand, give him a kiss on the lips and tell him I'm out.

Next guy is a friend I just can't figure out. I think I like him cause when we hang out, it's nothing but laughs.  I think he likes me cause when we hang out it's nothing but laughs.  Then he disappears for weeks.  So now I hate him.  What kind of friend disappears on a nigga like that?

Angry Black Man.

So he's in love with me but for the life of him can't show it.  I tell him EVERY.SINGLE.DAY, "I don't like you. You get on my nerves on purpose ALL THE TIME and you never have anything nice to say. Holla back with that isht."  He swears I should get to know him, get to know the real him, things would be different in person, yada yada yada.  

Sir, if you can't be nice over the phone or via text, what makes you think I want to spend any amount of time with you in person?? He really doesn't get it.  Just this past weekend he was with the, "you don't love me so why should I be nice?" Uhhhh, are you serious right now? I teach 4, 5, and 6 years olds how to be functioning citizens of society. I'm not bout to teach a 31 y.o. how to be courteous, decent, and nice.  Go read a book and get back to me. Maybe, I'll let you try again with Lion King.

Can I put all three of the above together to make a super man?