Keep Me Near the Cross!

It's the first official day of summer vacay.  Fine.  Just left a middle school where I applied for a summer job... *sigh*  sat down and not one but TWO people from highschool walk in.  Chick was an acquaintance so it was the, "hey! what's up? how ya been? how ya momma doin?"  bit.  The guy on the other hand is one of those people who prolly got on my nerves but I forgot.  Oh, he reminded me.  he says really obvious things.  i.e., "if you notice, people who smoke weed talk reaaaally slllloooow"

. . .

1. did you really slow motion yourself?

2. really?  i NEVER noticed how people talk when they smoke!  I lived my whole college career under a rock in Wisconsin.  I wasn't a part of a hip-hop hippie group that smoked and listened to music for fun.  

Camp hasn't even started and I'm already annoyed.  But wait! there's more!!!

So I get the phone call to come in before 12 noon.  This was 1045.  I tell the sec'y I'll be there at 11am.  I get there at 11 on the dot and she tells me the director "will be back right quickly"

RIGHT QUICKLY?  Did you really say "right quickly"??  as if that's better than "right quick"??

*face*

But wait!!!  She's the sec'y.  I soooooooo failed to mention what happened at the interview 2 weeks ago.  The actual director is one of those people who try to sound intelligent but come off as dumb as the fcuk.

*she's in script, i'm thinking in my head in italics*

"So Ms. Kutieboots, tell me pacifically (specifically?)what your strenfs (strengths?) are?"

or

"These kids are phenomenom! I love working with them! (phenomenal? or a phenomenom?)

or

"I know it may seem low but that's what we do here, we bring these kids up to part" (par?)

"I ordered materials for arts and crafts... glue, construction paper, sequence..." (sequins?  that one is a bit tricky  but still NO)

I can't even begin to list the rest of the oratorical offenses.  I really wanted to bring my phone out and jot them down but that would've been rude.  And if you see her face when she speaks, you KNOW she thinks she's doing big things.  Ugh! She got on my last never and made the left side of my face itch!!  

But wait!!

As mentioned earlier, I get there at 11... why this ghetto b! not show up till 1148???  you black woman from the depths of hell!!!!! ANNNNNND wearing something my sister would wear!!! She had on a red v-neck with a yellow cami underneath.  Not my choice for a color combo but, whatever.  Did you really pile on yellow bead necklaces and hella plastic red and yellow bracelets?!?  How old are you!?  Why are you dressed like a highschool senior with too much money to spend at Claire's or the Icing?!?!?  let me find a pic of Mini Me in all her plastic glory...

*two people just got engaged in the last 5 minutes.  damn you bacefook!*

man, i'm going to eat something now.  where's my comfort food??!!?!?!?