Church Search

As I was sitting in one of the most beautiful episcopalian churches I've ever had the pleasure of worshipping in, I realized I felt empty. Why wasn't the stained-glass moving me? Why weren't the turrets and pointed arches making me swoon with joy at worshipping in God's house? Why was what the father was saying going in one ear and out the other? The only thing that came to mind was, "Ooh, I'd like to come here on Christmas. I bet it's even more beautiful... and full."

Yeah, in the gaping cathedral of St. Ann and the Holy Trinity Episcopal Church, there were all of 40 people, including the choir and clergy. Why the meager congregation? That of course was mostly people my parents age (and older)? I had to think of my own episcopalian journey.

You're little. You go to church because your mom goes to church. You look forward to Sunday school cause that's when you see friends who don't live in your neighborhood or don't go to your school.

You get a little bit older. Your First Communion has come and gone, you take a little bit more responsibility with what's going on. But not that much, you're just excited you can kneel and still see over the pew. You still go cause mom goes.

You're in high school. You hear other classmates and students talking about church retreats, Youth Choir, Teen Bible Study... you start to wonder, "What's up with my church? How come we're so boring?" You may even visit a friend's church and you're really amazed at the energy levels outside the Roman Catholic fold. Is that how church is supposed to be?

You're in college now. You attend the non-denominational church on campus. It's better than your church at home (see: less Catholic based) but you get the feeling it's more for show. Still searching for that perfect fit.

In talking to students from across the country and reading books they read, you find out being an Episcopalian is not such a bad thing. As a matter of fact, it's kind of the haute thing on the low. But you can't just be a black Episcopalian, you have to be born into it. Otherwise, you just don't get it. You get it.

You find a church. It's a black episcopalian church in the South. Just the right mix of tradition and soul. You go to church every Sunday, listening to the canon preach. At times, you visit other churches and you realize what you thought was fun and excitement in high-school really isn't your style. You invite your friends but they are not that into it. That's fine.

But now you're post-bacc. Definitely old enough to make your own decisions, drive to whatever church you want to go to. You're not bound by mommy or lack of transportation (college). So you try and find that perfect episcopalian church. But what do you see? Tons of old people. Whether they are old blacks (St. George's) or old whites (St. Ann's) you wonder, "Where are the me's of the Episcopal church? Is it that it's not dynamic enough to capture the hearts and minds of Gen X and beyond? Is it that growing up in the digital age, who needs to 'stand up and sit down' when I can find a church app on my ipaD? Do we need a Steve Jobs to do some image and brand consulting? Why don't we go to church?"

On a brighter note, the church in the hood was definitely more packed than the one downtown. But I don't want to mingle with people dying every month. I want some youth and energy in the sect I know and love. I love being an Episcopalian. I love the structure and tradition and antiquities. I love how it came to be... but I don't understand why 18-30 somethings don't feel the same way I do...

Knock and the door shall be opened unto thee

Right now, at THIS very moment right here, I wish I was getting married this July. At this moment early on this Monday morning, I wish I have a shared bank account and someone to wake up to everyday. For the longest time, marriage seemed to be the stability I've been craving. In marriage, I won't be here, there, worrying about tomorrow, thinking about what I'm going to do with myself. In my head, marriage solved all that. Yes, I'm sure marriage came with its own set of issues that I don't know about but at least, you have someone to share them with; you don't have to tackle life alone...

Oh well, ask and ye shall receive.

i feel like i'm falling. i just want to hurry up and hit the ground already. where am i going? how will i get there? how will i live? do i belong there or am i just running away? running away from what?

how come senior year in high school, the prospect of going anywhere was the best thing in the world? but as someone knocking on 30s door, the possibility of shucking corn in iowa, or lobbying in dc, or teaching english in japan, or free-loading in denver is scaring the utter fcuk out of me?

I WANT STABILITY.
SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT TO DO SO I CAN DO IT CAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING AND IT'S DEPRESSING ME.

Cheaters

Have you ever watched that show? Why is it so hilarious? But at the same time so sad? I'm wondering if I could've been on an episode...

So you know I have a crusher. That's my term for someone who crushes. Yes, TM really likes me after one incident of dancing the night away and a couple games of bowling. And me being me, I don't encourage crushers but I def don't crush them either... am I an enabler??

Whatever the case, for week 3 of partying with the WBs, RJ, Tish, and I were supposed to go karaoke-ing. What ended up happening was me and TM playing pool. Yep, just us two.

Now in MY head, I don't like him like that. He's a bit off from various injuries, he's a vet, he smokes his medicine pretty much all day, he's just visiting for a month or two, etc. No reason to start anything even if I was single. Oh yeah, he has an ex-fiance and an ex-wife. Sir.

I regress. I don't like him. I don't want him. I do appreciate the attention b/c of what's going on in my personal life (will talk abt later) and I honestly just have fun with him. I see it as the beginning of a cool friendship with the opposite sex. But, I know TM doesn't see it that way and I can only imagine how DFB would see it if he was watching me on video from an unmarked van.

We shot a couple games of pool, of course he whooped my arse cause he's good at everything, he drank a mug of beer, I had water... I started getting hungry so we went to a nearby bbq restaurant. We ordered and ate and left. Then went to DD for a chocolate craving he needed to fix. Oh yeah, your boy LOOOOOOOVES chocolate. More than any guy I've ever seen. All kinds of chocolate too. o_O

We sat outside of DD while he talked abt some Marine stuff, things he did his freshman year at WVU before he joined the Corp, the fact you can give him ANY weapon whether he was trained on it or not, from bow n arrow to rocket launcher, and he can hit the target in 3 or less shots, from its MAXIMUM range (I thought that was a scary cool piece of info), talked about how he spent a whole month stalking, hunting, and trapping a top 10 villian so that was 30 he did not shower...his italian mother and his german father, etc. He found it remarkable I called him an "Axis baby" and thought I was even better cause I'm cute and smart. The whole time he's talking and stuffing his face with coffee and dough, I'm thinking, "I hope nobody I know happens to show up... that'll be fcuked up." Because I started feeling guilty abt what I was doing even though on the other side of that coin, I knew I wasn't doing anything, I got up and said, "okay, I have to go now."

My question to you readers, was I wrong? I'm on the fence with myself. My definition of cheating is surprisingly liberal and I will def talk abt that in another post cause the TM issue is far from over. But talk to me abt opposite sex friendships, can you make new ones or is someone getting set-up for the okie-doke?

"Where's #371?"

I just have the most backwards "luck" with things I "speak" into existence. I just KNEW I was moving to DC and teaching there this year. But it's kind of hard to teach when you don't have a classroom or even a school to go to.

I may be jumping to conclusions but let's keep it real; I haven't heard a PEEP from anyone in DC since I posted the "Congrats! You've been hired by DCPS" post on July 29. I take that back. I got an OOO reply from 4 of the 14 principals I e-mailed.

Add this to the list of things I said I was going to do but didn't. I hate this feeling. I feel like I'm all talk and no action. I'm pissed.

Then I try to look at the "bright" side. "Everything happens for a reason," and "It's not on your time but God's time" and all those platitudes you tell yourself to make yourself feel better.

Fuck that shit.

Now I'm on this defeatist attitude like, "Why'd I even bother?"

That's what I've been on since I left DC. Ups and downs; highs and lows. I'm feeling good knowing that everything in due time, then I drive to school and burst into tears in my parking spot. I tell myself, "This is a good time to save hella money" then I think of how I would ignorantly spend money on things that would make me feel better about where I am... again.

At the end of the day, I just wish I never got in the starting blocks.*

*reference to my deep seated fear/hate of running track. although i'm naturally talented in track and field, I HATED the sport b/c of the chance I would not come in first. I would rather not run than not win.

4/10/10

I just registered for Arlington Independent School District's Teacher Expo. It will be on Saturday, April 10, 2010 from 8-11am. The district website told me to expect an email letting me know when my interview will be.

I guess I should buy a plane ticket sometime this week...

*wow*

It seems so sudden! Let me cool my jets, I haven't even gotten an interview yet.

And what does one bring to a teacher interview? When I graduated, I was picked up by the school I interned at and my portfolio was online. I wouldn't know the first thing to bring. My resume' of course...

*sigh*

I'm feeling some kind of way right now. Scared, for one...

*

On another note, in case you don't know, April 10th is National A-Hole Day. Least favorite ex was born on 4/10. So was Mr. Big, the self-proclaimed ass. It's actually funny cause they HATE each other. Yeah, this world is too small. How does a biz major in orlando cross paths with an engineering major in Tally? *eye roll*

Whatever the case, it looks like I'm moving forward with my TX plan.

Why am I so nervous?

Ring the Alarm

We met in kindergarten and became fast friends. She was the only other person who used the brown crayon in self-portraits. Our moms became friends and you know the whole deal. Birthday parties, skating rinks, park dates, etc.

So after kindergarten, we met again in middle school. 6th grade, we both learned how to play the clarinet. 7th grade we both dated the same guy. 8th grade we both transferred to our county's school of the arts.

With the advent of FB, we reconnected after YEARS. We exchanged numbers and promised to do lunch sometime over the summer. That was going on 3 years ago. We called each other with plans to meet over the breaks and our plans never coincided.

FAST FORWARD to January 2010.

I walk into my salon on an early Saturday morning and there she is, sitting at the shampoo bowl with conditioner in her hair.

"OH MY GOSH!!!! OH MY GOSH!!! OMIGOSH I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN FOREVER!!"

and we jump right into each other's lives. "How's your momma/daddy/brother/sister?" I find out both our sisters attend State, both our brother's are doing big things, and on and on. Then the convo turns to our personal lives.

"I don't think I can take another year in Palm Beach County"

"Me neither!"

"Every week, I'm ready to move somewhere else"

"Man, I looked at Fairfax County, Va. Austin, TX, Atlanta, Ga..."

"Omigosh, I looked into Texas, DC, and Dekalb!"

Our convo was basically one of us saying something and the other going, "OMG, me too!" we both realize we're too young to be where we are right now, we have no hubbys or chaps (#shoutout Jameil) so we need to get our YFF on and on and on and on.

Then the convo turned to our mens. She let me know that for personal and professional reasons (more personal) she has to move. She needs a change and a place where she can start over. Her mentor has a job open for her in case she decides to move but she just hasn't done it yet. I shared that I simply have a strong urge to live somewhere else before I settle and speaking of settling, I caught her up on my sentiments regarding Dreez. Blah, blah, blah.

As of Saturday, she was ready to move to Georgia. Like, stoneface, "I need to get the fluck out of here". The guy she's been dating for years and who she hung around for doesn't seem to be getting his act together or is "waiting for something big to happen at his job". Well "something" hasn't happened so they've been stagnant. She also told me she "got into HU for grad school but stayed in town for him", with the tiniest bit of regret/resentment. Aww man, I saw what was me in that statement.

We kind of agreed that we're going to do US once this school year is over. We said it with such conviction that out hairdresser was like, "What is all this talk about leaving!?" and then she laughed when we told her, "We're 27! We need to get out before we get stuck!"

Anyhoo, her"man" proposed to her last night. And she accepted. She text me last night and I saw the message this morning.

I thought I was still sleeping and I had to check the name. Yeah, I know only one person with that name... but the Maxine I was talking to was "reds to go"! The Maxine I was just talking with had lots of issues to deal with regarding Julian... the Maxine I was conversing with made an unofficial pact with me about being young, flashy, and fly somewhere besides WPB, FL!!

So... a ring makes everything better?

I may come off as Miranda from SATC but what happened to all those dreams and plans you were just talking about on Saturday? and that dream job hand-made for you by your mentor? I'm trying not to be a skeptic as I type this and I know Corinthians told me love heals all wounds but...

RING the ALARM.

to be continued

Scribble Scrabble

That's what I felt like today. Like my brain was scribble scrabbled. Like someone messed up and instead of erasing or even drawing a line thru the error, they just scribbled it out.

I want to say I'm confused but that's not an excuse anymore. I'm so not confused. I know exactly what I want.

*

Today was one of those days where I didn't even want to get out of bed. Not depressed or tired, just didn't feel like leaving the house, much less the bed. I wanted to do nothing today but sort out the thoughts that kept me up all hours past my bedtime. But alas, nineteen 5 & 6 year olds needed some knowledge dropped on them.

Today was one of those days where I was obviously running late and when I started my car, I realize I left my phone on the bed.

Today was one of those days where once past Jog Road, I realized I left my lunch in the fridge.

Today was one of those days where I accidentally dropped my ipod in between my seat but because I'm already running late, I can't take the extra 3 minutes to fish for it. I really wanted to tune out the children and listen to my music all day.

Today was one of those days where goo gobs of printed lesson plans were placed in my mailbox and I didn't even know where to go with them.

Today was one of those days where my principal decided to stop by my classroom for what I think was a clandestine operation. She walked in shocked and said, "Oh, you didn't take them to fine arts?" Oh, you thought my room was going to be empty, didn't you?

Today was one of those days where I forgot to eat. And I think I was hungry, but Ryoko def didn't stop by. How is that even possible?

Yeah, it was the 100th Day of School... on a Friday. Pseudo mayhem.

*

When I got to school, I flatly told my class, "Ms. K is not feeling well. I'm not sick but my brain is all mixed up. I need to focus." I was talking to myself all day and CONSTANTLY redirecting myself. I didn't even bother teaching today. I used my whiteboard to make myself a to do list. It helps me GREATLY to write things down, to see them in black and white. I was a jumbled, scribbled mess today and I know why.

*

I've talked about it before. And i'm almost scared to say anything cause it's been years but I've only talked and never done anything. I've applied to however many schools in so many years, but I'm still here.

Eff A U- master's in reading ed: accepted

FAM- master's in elem ed: accepted

FAM- b.a. in photog: accepted

Eff S U: master's in reading ed: pending

U T Austin: master's in bilingual ed: considered

After going to the smithsonian museum for african art, I was inspired to do what? Apply to U T Arlington for a B.A. in art history. Summer 2010.

Am I just going to apply to schools and do nothing with the acceptance letters? WTF am I waiting on? I know what I'm waiting on and it makes me mad/sad/confused that I'm still doing that. My life cannot be contingent on another person. There. I put it out there. I don't want to be 30 and resentful. I'm already getting there. i can't be mad/confused/scrambled all the time. I know what I want to do, I don't know why I'm not doing it. I do know why I'm not doing it but WHY am I knowingly not doing it?

did you follow that?

It had crept back into my head that I want to do me. I feel like I'm doing a pseudo "we" and I can't operate like that. Either we're a 'we' or we're not. I'm cut and dry. I'm so quick to say, "And there it is" when talking to others, but what about me? Do I need to have a talk with me?

and there it is.

(y'all should've seen my eyes just widen as I asked myself that question. a lightbulb just turned on)

I'll be back. I need to talk to and with myself.

Humble Pie, anyone?

Adei von K: I want to get a tattoo this Friday

DreezyFBaby: What are you going to get? an apple?

AVK: No on the apple. I'm not telling

DFB: Don't get my name. I don't like that

AVK: lmao!

DFB: that's weird

AVK: I wasn't going to get your name!!! LMAO!

DFB: ok

AVK: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!! LMAO!!!!!

AVK: LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!! Oh Drew!!! Did you think I'd really do that!?!?!?

AVK: LOLOLOLOLOL!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

AVK: I love that you told me not to get your name!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

DFB: ok

AVK: LMAO!!!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

DFB: haha

AVK: *whoo* now THAT was a good laugh. Don't get your name... LOLOLOLOLOL

DFB: ok

*snickering*

Who do these guys think they are!?!?!?

Monday Mindspacing

But it's Tuesday!!!!

Live on the edge a little, guys.

1. As you may or may not know, I'm at my brother's place somewhere in the central part of southern florida. Like, right under Lake Okeecho.bee. If you imagined there are mosquitos galore, you are absolutely correct!!

2. His place is awesome. I really wish I could bring people here. It's like a country inn resort. Maybe I'll take pix and upload them via twits.

3. I've never been a fan of the Atlanta Classic but considering my affinity for that southern piece of HEAVEN grows with each visit, I think I will go this year!! And I know how to use the TARMA? Oh, it is ON!!

4. I really want to wear smocked dresses for a looooooooooong time. Stank actually made a comment abt them the other day, "How many of those do you have? I guess they are the perfect dress, huh?" They sure are!

5. I am kiiiiinda looking forward to the school year starting.

*cringe*

I feel like my remaining 2 weeks are going to go by a warp speed now that I've put that in the universe...

6. There are 4 celebs that I follow on Twitr. I had to remove E.Dabu cause something is going on in that brain of hers and I didn't want to and couldn't stand to be privy to it. I removed Talib cause I remembered I liked Mos more. Lastly, I removed Joel McHail cause he's so much funnier on TV. All that's left is Ghostface (my boo!) Estelle (my british boo!) Johnny Boy, and Steven Colbert (huh-larious!).

7. I have a sudden LOVE for soft tacos. I mean, I've always liked them but now I want them ALL THE TIME!! I think I will make them tonight. I blame Jameil. She made some the last night we were in ATL and they were AWESOME. Quite simply, awesome.

8. Everyone wants to know where I'm going before school starts. I've been away more than home this summer and the question I get from Pops, Stank, Mini Me, other relatives and even some teachers is,"So where's the next place you're going? You still have time!" Word?! Don't let me find a cheap ticket to the Queen City cause it'll be on like popcorn! If I planned properly, I'd be there now. Then again, it's more fun to be spontaneous in the summer! Who knows where I'll be before Aug 6

9. Would you be offended if someone asked you to be a hostess at their wedding?? That question as be PLAGUING me the past couple of days!! I guess I need to know what role the hostess plays... what does she do, guys?

10. There are TWO wedding invites I haven't recieved yet and I'm not too happy about it. One of them is for a wedding in August and the other is for September. I'll be VERY hurt abt the August one. The September one, not so much. I know I'm going to that with or without an invite.

11. One for the road: In J-Hud's latest song, who is that guy HOLLERING "Worldwide" (or whatever he says) in the beginning?! OMG, he IRKS me!! I HATE that part! What does it do for the song?! Absolutely NOTHING! And then the ATL "oh!" thruout the chorus?? Sooooooooooo not a fan. The song is wack and I kinda think she is too. yeah, I'm talking about a pregnant woman.

12. speaking of preg chicks, WHYYYYYY do celebs deny being pregnant??? Is it to build more intrigue? Have people wondering about you? To keep your name in peoples' mouths?? It took her Dreamgurls co-star (A. Rose)to put it out there! Maybe they are afraid of losing the baby? I know when J-Lope FINALLY announced she was expecting it was like, "in other news, Tupac Shakr has been shot". Whatever.

oh FB

I haven't been on FB all day. I log-on and this is somebody's status; the first thing I read.

"Gratefulness is the key to a happy life that we hold in our hands, because if we are not grateful, then no matter how much we have we will not be happy -- because we will always want to have something else or something more. something to think about"

*sigh*

What kills me the most is who it comes from. He's an ATL head-busser who I affectionately call, Cuz. He rivals Wayne in tats, rivals T.I. in Bankhead/West-Side street savvy, and he is one of the most thugnificent young men I have ever met. He was kicked out of highschool AND JobCorps... his whole life is the "Dead & Gone" video...

I just don't know.

Extraneous Protocol? *UPDATED*

So as usual, I'm on FB, stalking newly engaged people and counting the years I've known my beau...

sadistic? masochistic? both?

anyway, what I've noticed is a big thing is the engagement party. Since when was that the thing to do? To me, it seems like an awesome idea; I love a reason to have a party but then again, when you're planning a wedding, budget is a big deal and where does an extraneous party fit in? So, on the other side of that coin, the engagement party seems superfluous.

But it is a party. I like parties.


Another seemingly extraneous expense; STDs.

I was wary of STDs. I remember the first one we got in the mail. It was a postcard with a picture of my godsis and her fiancee. I was so confused. "Is this what wedding invitations are now? We're extra casual with the invites?" I mean, I saw the words, "Save the Date" but it didn't register. That was back in '06. Then as college classmates got engaged, they started flooding in, months in advance, warning us to 'Save the Date'. Magnets, postcards, mini movie posters (my fave) "starring" the couple. But now, like Jameil, I was swayed and amazed by Soon to be Mrs. Patti's approach.

But... that's an added paper expense!! Even if you're gansta with it like Miss Patti!! and I know I won't be!

Lastly, engagement pics.

Normally, I wouldn't have a problem with pictures. Well, I don't have a problem with pictures I take. I just keep thinking back to senior year when i was working my lil part time job and had to spend all my money on my senior AND cap and gown pictures. Professional pics/photogs scare me. I look at graduation albums of friends and wonder why I didn't have cap and gown pics shot all over Tally but then I remember, I didn't have a job. Professional pictures cost MONEY! So why is it the thing to have photo albums of you and yours? Jam and I went a wedding site today and were AMAZED with all the albums!!! Christmas, Just Cause, etc!!! Really?? All that??

I'm not going to front, I will probably do all the aforementioned. I think the e-pics are some of the best professional pictures i've seen. They are sooooo adorable!
With my friends split up between two colleges and sprinkled all over the place, STDs will be mandatory and I think and e-party is a wonderful way to kick off the wedding season for a couple.

Damn peer pressure.

*ADDED*
I think there is one more thing to add... if you have the money for it. The PRE-Honeymoon trip. Yep, I've seen it. The album was awesome and I want one. NOW.

Fashion Convo Fail

Mini Me: do white strips work?

Adei von K:  With what? navy blue?  Yes.  Nautical is on the horizon, I said it last year and only Kelly Rowland had it on but if you wear it now, you'll be haute

MM: LMAO krest strips not stripes!!!

AVK:  oh $#!t LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

          yes, they work.

MM: well they are buy one get one free and galwreens

AVK: thanks.  I'll be sure to stock up for when my braces come off NEXT April

MM: oh $#!t  LOLOLOLOL

blah

I don't really have much to say. but I don't want a week to go by without ANYTHING so here are some random things on my mind


I am more excited to see what M.O. is going to wear as her inaugural gown. I hope she picks the no name chick from the Chi she's been wearing and not one of the big name designers who dress celebrities all day, everyday.

I swear today was everybody get married or engaged day on facebook. I know I swore it off last year but that was when guys were doing the damn thing and proposing left and right. today, it was chicks I know and family in ghana. albums from everyone's vantage point. i was actually surprised about how nice one wedding was... based on the couples' website, i thought it was going to be some hood ish.

the school year is half over. we have reached the 90 day mark. 100th day of school is jan 30 and I can't wait. i think my kids will count out 100 cheerios and m&m's for math. do 100 jumping jacks? read 100 books? we'll figure something out by then

i think jill b.is so cute. its too funny that she got shushed. "did you just 'shush' me?!" is my automatic question to that! LOL I wish somebody would shush me...

it was overcast all day today. no rain or anything. just clouds and wind. it made the temp feel much cooler than it really was. and 2 cold fronts are coming thru this week. so much for my barack tees everday this week. maybe i will layer...i'm good for that. i love the longsleeve/short sleeve look. yeah. there it is.

been doing some thinking... 2009 is not looking cool. i can't say that i've been happy yet. the one person who used to be my hero isn't anymore. it saddens me and i just wonder, if other things pick up in his life, will I?

had good ole convo with God on the way home today. I seriously asked him, "let me know what's up, Dude."


I need to be missed. Pull a disappearing act or something.




that's where I am today. toodles.

I'm Out!

I'm going to Tally this weekend!

I'm sure it will be better than last time; Jameil is coming!!


the Rattlers of Florida A&M vs. the Pirates of Hampton U



Do I "strike, Strike, and STRIKE again!"?

or do I

"Rock the Blue and White, Rock the Blue and White!"?

In one, I see my begining, my first time away from home, my first time with people like me, my first friends who I DIDN'T know since forever, my first time listening to Mos and Ghost

yet, the other was more my home, easier to just be, closer (in proximity) to family, more "real" (not everybody is born with a silver spoon in their mouth, or even a silver plated one for the 'fake it till you make it' folk)...




well, its State's Homecoming. Maybe I'll be a Seminole for the day.

Question of the Day

I am SERIOUSLY sitting here wondering if I can be friends with people who vote for McCain...


a HU homie of mine has been blasting his love for the McCan't-Plain ticket and I thought he was joking or being facetious. But it kept on going and going and going...

today on bacefook, his picture is of his ballot with a plain as day mark for Mc & P!


HE WAS DEAD ASS SERIOUS!!


It just makes me wonder what does he see in them? I know he's not a military man or someone over 65 or a large corporation who would "benefit" from the Mc-P administration...

he is a young man trying to become this great director. he's "directing" his first movie in 2008 but that got changed to "tv show".

I guess the movie didn't work out.


he is a middle school health teacher and I know for a fact that the Nat'l Ed Assoc, and the American Fed of Teachers; the two largest teacher orgs have publicly endorsed Rocky. not saying, "well if they did it, then I should too" but...

I'm not sure if his parents went to school here the way my dad did but I know he is Nigerian, 1st generation. Immigrants for education or just a better way of life?

I just don't get what a young black, first generation, college educated, teacher by day, "budding" artist by night, civilian man would see in anyone besides Barack. In Barack, we see ourselves. How can you not want the best for yourself?

Don't Shop While Hungry

BTW: I coied and asted the letter after o for this ost. don't feel like doing it now


I woke up this morning with an agenda.

eat breakfast
wash own hair.

i know this house and decide to look around to see what he have and don't have. Naturally, since I want to wash my hair, we have conditioners for days but no shampoo.



*sigh*

now I have to go to publix and buy some cause I try not to patronize the asian/arab stores who are getting away with highway robbery. also, sallie's is closed.

make a list: shampoo and mushrooms (for brekky)

as I'm driving to the store, I realized I can't find my tweezers and my eyebrows need some help.

shampoo, mushrooms, tweezers.

Wait, I can't have a breakfast souffle with out fresh spinach!

shampoo, mushrooms, tweezers, spinach.

and I'm almost out of salsa

shampoo, mushrooms, tweezers, spinach, salsa.

since i pass the bread aisle to get to the beauty aisle, I might as well pick up some tortillas; I mean, I already have the salsa...

shampoo, mushrooms, tweezers, spinach, salsa, tortillas.

Well what's the point of tortillas if you're not going to make tacos?

shampoo, mushrooms, tweezers, spinach, salsa, tortillas, ground turkey

awww, I'm sure russ and coke would like some bones to chew on

shampoo, mushrooms, tweezers, spinach, salsa, tortillas, ground turkey, beef bones dog treats

ooooh, who doesn't like to be brushed?

shampoo, mushrooms, tweezers, spinach, salsa, tortillas, ground turkey, beef bones dog treats, two in one dog grooming brush.

now i need black beans to make my tacos REALLY good!

shampoo, mushrooms, tweezers, spinach, salsa, tortillas, ground turkey, beef bones dog treats, two in one dog grooming brush, black beans

tweezers, tweezers... oooh. I need a pedicure.

shampoo, mushrooms, tweezers, spinach, salsa, tortillas, ground turkey, beef bones dog treats, two in one dog grooming brush, black beans, pumice stone.

Finally got the tweezers and now i need taco seasoning.

shampoo, mushrooms, tweezers, spinach, salsa, tortillas, ground turkey, beef bones dog treats, two in one dog grooming brush, black beans, pumice stone, taco seasoning.

But wait, the kits are buy one, get one free. down goes the seasoning, black beans, and tortillas, up goes the soft taco and fajita kits! Now i need sour cream.

shampoo, mushrooms, tweezers, spinach, salsa, ground turkey, beef bones dog treats, two in one dog grooming brush, pumice stone, two el paso kits, but one, get one free sour cream.

Cheese, por favor.

shampoo, mushrooms, tweezers, spinach, salsa, ground turkey, beef bones dog treats, two in one dog grooming brush, pumice stone, two el paso kits, but one, get one free sour cream, shredded cheese.


Damn.




do I want monterey jack cheddar or 4 cheese mexican blend?

Registry

So as you may or may not know, I will be attending 4 weddings these next four months. The one in october is this couple I wrote about so long ago.


yeah.

But can I tell you when the wedding is??


a tuesday evening.


in jacksonville.


so... even if i leave work an hour early (2pm), I will get there JUST IN TIME (6pm)?!?! Does that mean I have to wear my clothes to work cause I sooooooooo won't have enough time to change!?!? Boy, Kitty and I cussed that boy OWT!!! "WTF is that about?!? who gets married on a Tuesday evening?!!? Naw I ain't coming to that ish!"

But its Mike so we have to go. We love him dearly. Plus, its a post bacc reunion of some sort and is he the first friend of mine to get married?? No, an ex of mine got married like, 4 years ago (sheesh!) Kitty will be missing a once a week lecture and I will miss 1 AND A HALF days of work!!! I'm leaving at noon on Tuesday and taking Wednesday off cause there is no way in hell i'm going to the wedding and reception and driving home only to get to West Palm no earlier than 4am...! we are going to be talking ish the whole time...


2nd wedding is in November. It's actually to a middle/high/college classmate of my bro that i know as well. Very nice fellow, his pops is a doctor friend of my dad, yada yada yada. this one should be cute! its down here in south florida and I think it's going to be outside but NOT at the beach.


3rd wedding is in december.

fave ex's.

*inhale deeply*

am I a starter wife or something!?

naw, it's all good. I am truly happy for him and this is the wedding i'm most excited about!! Fave X is one of my favorite people and he helped me a lot when i transferred to FAM. This one is on the beach in Daytona. on his birthday *eye roll* such a typical move for him. I am mad that that day has been taken though. I was going to use it as mine cause it's the inverse date of loving day. 6/12---> 12/6. oh well, we'll see when that time comes.


4th wedding is in January. and its a girl!!! FINALLY!! she's actually a friend of several friends I have and we got cool. on top of that, we were 'talking' to frat brothers and would see eachother at events. not trying to be mean, but her wedding website is a mess. Full of speech and syntax errors. It's like it was a 'stream of consciousness post'; justa typing what came to mind!


now that the weddings have been outlined, let me address the title of this post.

You can tell a lot about a person by their registry, don't you think? registry is at JCPenny's as opposed to bloomingdales or even macy's? k-mart or crate and barrel? sears or williams sonoma?

i feel like that's 220 thread count vs. 800. I'm not being a snob or elitist or anything, I just want your honest opinion.

Birthdays

I hate shopping for them. although I love shopping in itself, the pressure of finding something perfect by a certain time gets on my nerves. I don't like doing ANYTHING on someone else's time. Why do you think I skipped so much class? if I didn't want to do chemistry right after lunch, they I won't be doing chemistry right after lunch!

how did that work out for you, Dei?
shut-up, stace.

So there's my mom whose b-day was yesterday. She is one of those people who always got something to say, therefore, being a pain to shop for. The gift card is a beautiful thing but I HATE BUYING THEM!!! to me, they say, "i didn't feel like buying something personal, you know, to show that I care. Knock yourself out when you get a chance"

Knowing who my mom is, she gets a gift card.
to show i care.

and a gift. to show I care.

and a meal at a restaurant of my choosing.
again, to show that I care.

She's still talking about her mother's day present (necklace, giftcard, lunch for the two of us)

:-)

This time, she got a M.uvico gift card and some B&B.Works. She looooooooves hand creams! OMG, it can be easy to shop for her but when you get what she likes, its like, "oh. more lotion." or "oh, more pajamas"; (her two favorite things in the world)


AAAAAAAHHHH!


Now Drew's b-day is 7/7. I personally think guys are easy to shop for. Knock out a s.ean john button down... maybe an e.cko hoodie, some jordan b-ball shorts...

one year, i did it big and he got an en/yce sweater, an authentic iv.erson jersey and some flannel pj bottoms from the GAP. I got 3 out of the 7 days of Haunukah, holla back. but you know what his cancer ass' favorite gift was?

the flannel pjs.
sonofa...

I want to get him some sneakers cause my boo loves him some shoes but...


HE WEARS A SIZE 15

FIF.
TEEN.

WTF, dude?

I saw these re-released Jordan 1's that would be AWESOME on him (he looks good in brown, khaki, cream, etc) but alas, they only come in sizes up to 11.

I don't want to get him clothes cause he can barely wash and hang the ones he has!!!! what to do?!?!!?

He cuts his own hair and beard, but... every man loves an old fashioned shave right? like the kind they show in gangsta movies? where they whip the shaving cream up and apply it with a big boar bristled brush after steaming your face with a towel? then they take a leather strap and sharpen the blade... yeah... that sounds like his present right there.

Along with a gift card to Champ.s.
to show that I care.

The Color of Water

i read that book a couple of weeks ago and now I'm scarred. Scarred and scared.

I'm at the point where I want to know what's going on with Drew's family. Point is the wrong word... more like crossroads. I can keep on going the route we've been going; me not knowing who from what and honestly being happy (for the most part)

OR

I can find out something I'm better off not knowing about.

do i want to know why i haven't met his fam? do i want to know that his people have disowned him for dating a gentile? do i want to let my imagination keep getting the best of me?

or

do i want to be blissfully unaware? (for the most part)


see, these questions come up every once in a while. i'm chillin real hard and then it hits me, "i still don't know his mom!"


Granted, every situation is different but, a close family friend of ours, the people who got us acclimated once we moved from Boston (the Silver.steins) told my mom to tell me to be careful of the Jewish mom and her boy. Jewish women, more than dads, don't play about their family; who comes in and out of it. A mutal friend of Drew and I has a Jewish father and a Haitian mother and she was telling me her Jewish grandparents were livid, furious, ashamed of and at their son... until they saw their grandaughter (that would be her). Now they can't get enough of her OR her son, their great who is totally black (Pops is from Camer.oon).


there are so many things running around my head right now... i'm a family person and I know that he is... or was one too. it almost saddens me that he's not the family person he used to be and it might be cause of me. i may be taking it personally, but how can i not?