Knock and the door shall be opened unto thee

Right now, at THIS very moment right here, I wish I was getting married this July. At this moment early on this Monday morning, I wish I have a shared bank account and someone to wake up to everyday. For the longest time, marriage seemed to be the stability I've been craving. In marriage, I won't be here, there, worrying about tomorrow, thinking about what I'm going to do with myself. In my head, marriage solved all that. Yes, I'm sure marriage came with its own set of issues that I don't know about but at least, you have someone to share them with; you don't have to tackle life alone...

Oh well, ask and ye shall receive.

thoughts

i don 't think i'm the marrying type.



i'm the "beautiful dress, fabulous cocktail party, glamorous pics, and lots of gifts to open" type person. (GHoGH)

i think i will end up being a serial monogamist and I am okay with that.

i think i will go half on a baby, not purposefully but if it happens, no worries.

i think there are two of my friends who are on board with me on this path.



if it's just not right, i don't think i can do it.

timing
temperament
taste

He usually comes over in some basketball shorts and shower shoes.
Has on one of his thousands tall tees that foote locker should be fined for "inventing".
He usually doesn't do anything for Christmas, no matter how I feel about the day .


On Christmas night, he came rocking a long-sleeve Polo similar to one I got him last year.
Some dark rinsed jeans that weren't skinny and def not baggy, just right.
Some COGNAC colored meve stadden dress shoes that look AMAZING on his size 14 foot
And he brought 12 gifts for the 12 days of Christmas.












Why I gotta be out of your life for you to get right?

Here's to a year of "get right". For both of us.

the unspoken rift

we're at a standstill.

ummm, i really don't know what is going on. i know i've expressed how much fun i'm NOT having and the feeling is getting stronger. things have changed. what was not awesome before seems to be magnified. such a weird dynamic.

and it's beyond the reality of a day hitting. the reality of forever is what's getting me.

on one hand, you say, "everything in due time"

but something in the back of my head is SCREAMING, "it took too long"

*hangs head*

Random Thoughts

The one thing I like abt my cycle is how my cup size goes up. I'm like a good A.5 right now. Looks hot in the v-necks. Too bad I don't feel that way.

While on the topic, is it safe to leave "artillery" (what I call fem products) in the car? The heat won't denature anything? I don't want asbestosis on my lady parts.

And STILL on the topic, why did I go to the master bathroom and find a box of liners from 1982!?!?!?! Kanye said it best, "put that p^$$* in a sarcophagus"

So one of my fave homies works for NAS.CAR and got me and Drew access to the last race in the series (Homestead). I have no idea what we got ourselves into. I do want to go and check it off my hypothetical list of things done in life. (Attend a NASCAR race). I do wonder what Craig Mack would do in my case...

The commericals with a random man (dos xx and oldspi.ce) are too funny! We need more anonymous people.

My class makes me want to have children. Seriously, when I work one-on-one with the babes, I marvel at their little brains working and making connections. the lightbulb makes everything worth it :-)

Guess who's the sponsor of the new and improved Cooking Club??? Yeah, another teacher pestered the hell out of the principal and she brought them back. Yesterday, we made carrot-banana bread. Yep, me and 24 2nd-5th graders! Nope, I've never made it before that day. They came out ok!! Possibly too much stirring but you can't ask children not to stir!

I had a talk with Lyds. I think everything should... *fingers crossed* be ok planning wise. All my favorite girls are on board and I'm chipping away at ceremony/reception sites! I's getting excited! Esp when Jam decides to come down! Aaaaaaaah!

Drew said his parents will prob be at our wedding. You have no idea how happy I was when he said that! Now let's schedule a meeting between now and June... Baby steps?

My hair has lost its mind. But, it's getting done tomorrow. I can't wait. No more depending on bobby pins to hold together my self esteem.

Yo, that dress I wore this past Saturday? Straight up disrespectful. It mocked me. I felt like sophomore year after spring break when ALL my jeans and underwear happened to shrink in the dryer... bastards. I swore up and down it was the super hot dryers fault... till my roomie pointed out my face did the opposite of shrink, Texas bitch. I'm kidding (abt calling her a b!. She was one of the nicest people at HU!)

Football was good to me this week. Cowboys won, Giants lost, steelers lost, Vick/Eagles (mostly Vick) won. Dude straight up solo gang banged the Skins. How do you want it? I'll run it, I'll pass it, I'll hail mary it, how you want it? I got it. Gimme dat.

Even though I have two different dress styles in mind, I'm going for the fun party look. Sheath says, "demure". It doesn't say "fun". My brother likes the one I like too! He's so cute, he told me about a nice wedding he saw where I'm thinking of wedding... awwww!

Whyyyyyyy, is there a lady at school who prints out everything she's doing for her daughter's wedding (april 2011) for me? And she asked what size I am in case I was close in size to her daughter who got married last October. Ummmm, thanks but no thanks?!

Who can't wait for Thanksgiving break??? I can't wait for T-Break! even though I know it's going to be some madness...

I'm out!

What am I 'posed to be doing right now?

Again, I thought I'd be having more fun at this time...

I DO however, have a renewed vigor in planning b/c Ricardo is back! I get it from my daddy! His energy is what I need right now, not Lyds faux martyr approach of "not wanting to get in the way"... really? You usually are very imposing ANY OTHER TIME...

Dani Colored Glasses helped me find some dresses online. I LOVE her immensely for that cause in case you don't know I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!!! And the MSW checklist said I'm behind on EVERYTHING! Makes me not want to go back and see what a failure I am :-(

This weekend, I'm going to a jewelry party and possibly a bridal store with the 10-10-10 bride whose BMs were everything I wanted. Their dresses and jewels made me so excited! Lyds was like, "Calm down!" I think I was jumping up and down a little bit, while you playing...

So Drew's neighbor is a photog; an AWESOME one with whom I've spent HOURS talking to abt the art and can spend hours not talking at all, just admiring his work in albums and on his walls, right? I'm going to ask him to take our e-photos. I'm hoping... *fingers crossed* he will find it in his heart to gift us e-party and wedding day shoots!!!!! HAHAHA!

MSW says I need my website up and running. I asked DCG's lil sis who did hers and it's the same person who did their photos... can I just get her to be my web mistress? I mean, the photos were great but I want to ask Drew's neighbor for photos and Chelsea for web techniness. Drew's neighbor JUST got a cell phone... and JUST got a digital SLR. I don't think he's doing websites.

Another photo op, a teacher I used to work with is married to this guy... ummm, HELLLLL YEAH!!!! I am a fan of his wedding port, but not the biggest fan of his e-photos... how does that work? Whatever the case, photos are a big deal so I'm doing my research on that!

Speaking of e-photos, I asked the boy if he wanted to do them,

D: (hesitantly) "Do you want to?"

Me: (matter-of-factly) "Don't answer a question with a question. Yes or No?"

D: (whiny) "Daaah, I don't want to do anything! But if you want to, we will."

Me: (terse) "Whatever."

So I thought having free reign would be fun... it's not.

Randoms

I know you guys think I'm kidding, but I really do wonder what Craig Mack is doing right now and like I did on Twitter, I do wonder, "What Would Craig Mack Do?". It's soooooo random but he was the first victim of Diddie so I worry about him :-(

i've taken up to running. I would rather do conditioning (the whole nine; weights, sprints, balance, agility, etc) but seeing how I don't play an organized sport for a university, that's out. I do miss the gym and having a trainer...

speaking of working out, someone said we're going to play tennis this weekend. If not, I'll continue to get my solo run on.

i've started waxing again. It's amazing to not have to worry about unwanted hair for 3 or more weeks at a time!

we've narrowed it down. Summertime. LAWD, be a cold front!

who here knows how I feel about deadlines?? Planning a wedding doesn't mesh with me... all I know is I want dark pink fabulousness. oh yeah, and a gray dress.

School isn't fun right now. I don't like pressure... I'ma flip out one day...

the political ads that simply DOG the opponent piss me off. I tweeted about one that was simply, "If you like Barack, you'll LOVE (gov candidate)." are you freaking serious?!?! THAT'S what we've come to!?!? and you know there are STUPID people out there who don't know what the fluck is going on but now know NOT to vote for someone cause an ad used psychology on they dumb asses!!!

woosah.

when a person pisses me off to no end, I call them a ninja and I qualify it with their race. "I know this white ninja did NOT ignore my question!!!!!!!!" yes, I've called DFB that a few times. One time, to his face.

I have a grown up costume for Halloween this year!!! I thiiiink, you can click my 'pix' tag and see what i wore 4 years ago. It was not a game!

My favorite ex and I keep in contact. We are the only other person each other knows who loves MJ as much as the other does (did that make sense?). I was thinking about him this morning and guess who sent me a text? Fave ex! I then told him, "I wish we lived closer! We'd be awesome friends and couples!" He replies, "Hell yeah! More ig'nant than 50 Tyson! Y'all should move!" #ChileBoo. The next place I'm moving is to a tower overlooking somebody's water! wait, that can apply where he is... okay, next place I'm moving is the M-I-Yayo!

Art Ba.sel Miami Beach is coming! I's so excited! I LOOOOOOVE visual art!! and my last issue of W mag had a ginormous article on America's most important art show!! woo hoo, can't wait! We haven't been since 2007; that needs to be fixed asap-edly!

speaking of art, I think that adds to my LOVE of Kan. He can do no wrong in my book. People like to ride on him cause he's wearing a red v-neck with hella chains but who else would have the guts to wear that? I LOVE him for that!!! Just cause you're in "hip hop" doesn't mean it has to be jeans and timbs/af1s, stop with the pigeonholing. although I didn't like the song he did on SNL, i LOVED the performance. so simple!

nevermind, people just think you drank the Ye kool-aid if you like what he does. real talk, he's up there with Barack. DON'T TALK ABOUT MY PREZ OR MY 'YE!!

I plan on getting WBW this weekend. We know what happened last time I did that... I found myself an(other) WB admirer. a marine one. BTW, we google chat once in a while... bless his crazy heart. I told him I was engaged before I put it on FB and he said I broke his heart. *snickering*. You're doing the most right now. THEE.most.

I'm ready for my hair to be long again. It was growing like wildfire when I was in the salon every 10 days... but i can't be spending money on frivolity anymore! I gots to put some away for you know, that thing I'm having sometime in the summer... LOL!

Is it too soon to try on dresses? Jam and I are ready to fly to NY and stop by kleinfelds. Anitra, we'll layover in DC and you're coming with. Dani, meet us at 133rd and White Plains. *BREAK!*

Chic-fil- a made me feel better after my trying afternoon that included ig WW, data entry, unsupervised children, and CRYING.

I don't do crying.

Today should've been Friday.

Another Page in K.I.R.

Keeping It Real

I thought this time would be filled with me tasting cakes, playing in chiffon, and comparing shantung fabrics.

It's not.

I'm in a funny place. From my previous post, you know "we" have some family issues that have been discussed but not really resolved. Now that a wedding is in the future, the topic of them is sure to send someone off the deep end. I already feel like I'm walking on eggshells with him.

But then there's my side. My side who came out in surprising DROVES for my brother's wedding. My side, who when I called with the news of my engagement, was already planning for a trip to south florida (and that's without a date). My mom's sister in Strong Island, her sister in UK... my dad's brothers in BX, VA, and So. Fla who are THEE most excited.

THEEEEEE.most.

I'm the oldest grandchild on my mom's side so I really think my grandfather will make an appearance (from Ghana)... and my British cousins on both sides.

Then there's friends, family, classmates. I'm not having fun trying to figure out how to pull off something both of us will appreciate and keep my sanity.

The wedding websites overwhelm me. So much to do!

I'm over bridal mags. The last two I bought were underwhelming (Brides and MSW). I found a couple dresses I like, (two silhouettes, ball gown or sheath) so I just have to try them on and keep it moving.

and then of course there's life. You know, bills, work, immediate family... *sigh*

She's cool one minute, not awesome the next. Where's my daddy?

How do bride-to-bes do this? Life has to go one while you plan this ONCE IN A LIFETIME event!

The Un-Fun Side

I went to church for an event and talked to the priest about my engagement. It wasn't a formal thing, just he was sitting beside me asking why I wasn't in church on Sunday and I showed him my ring. He beamed and excused me but expected me next week. Happy, Happy Joy Joy. he asked for a date and of course I don't have one yet but then Lyds (on my other side) said, "Well they won't be getting married in church, he's a Jew."

Damn.

Drew told me 'jew' isn't necessarily bad, but saying someone is 'Jewish' is better than calling them a Jew.

Father said, "That's not a problem. I've co-officiated a Jewish-Christian wedding. But you do know his parents have probably disowned him right? And what are you going to do about your children? How will they be raised? Are you converting? Is he converting?"

"We've talked about his parents and Drew has made his decision a long time ago. Children will be raised in an Episcopalian church b/c he doesn't go to temple, he was just born Jewish."

"Okay! As long as you know!"

Yeah, I do. Thanks for bringing it up.


Thursday, I spent the afternoon and evening at my brother's house. We all were excited about my engagement but of course, the tone turned serious when his family came up.

"So how are his parents taking it?"
"They aren't."
"So they won't be at your wedding?"
"Probably not"
"And what about the engagement? What family will he have there?"
"Maaaybe his sister who lives down here, but he says she's crazy and I think she's a little upset Drew made his decision whereas she listened to their parents and stopped dating her non-Jewish guy"
"Damn. That will be weird not to have your parents at your wedding. They've known about you so what's the problem?"
"I'm not and never will be Jewish. *shoulder shrug*"

It's like I'm so excited and floating but then reality SMACKS me in the face.

Drew and I have addressed the family issue. Of course I haven't shared our convos with everyone else but it always takes me for a loop when people bring it up. And because people don't even know he's NOT black and damn sure don't know he's Jewish, when they find out, the questions I myself had to finally ask, re-hash the feelings of deserted-ness.

How weird will that be to have a beautiful ceremony followed by a wonderful reception and his family is noticeably absent? I'm feeling for DFB right now. I have my ginormous family in full support and he has no-one.

First Day

Due to all the excitement, i didn't go to bed till 4am. And in true to Adei fashion, I woke up sometime before 8a. caught up on twitter, emails, sent out more emails and texts, watched MikeNMike. Drew was knocked out after two shows and the nerves of proposing. He finally woke up around 9am and we decided we'll get breakfast on the water after running a few errands. Errands done, we take the long way to get to Hollywood Beach by driving thru the neighborhoods. I felt like we were little kids dreaming of the day when we could live in a "mansion".

We had breakfast on the water and decided the nap we were going to take was going to be epic. Go home, nap, wake up and decide I need a case for my new iTuch. To the aventura mall it is! Apul store is of course bananas so we just walk around. I tried on a couple dresses Drew saw in window displays at maxStudio and Barney's... DVF has a leather jacket i NEED in my life!! We pass wet seal and the window display has a racer girl costume! OMG, I wanted it but saw they had female prisoner, two kinds of Ms. Officer, french maid (how original), firefighter, bar wench, etc. I try on the racer girl, the prisoner, and the firefighter. Drew LOVED the same one I did so I got it! I'm wearing it to a Halloween party this Friday!!!!! Pics coming soon!

We walked some more, decided Bebe is more miss than hit, there are a lot of high end latino shops in the mall, and we should look at apartments...

!!!!!!!!!!!

We check out a couple towers that look absolutely amazing!! When I say check out, I mean drive-by, lol. We also decided to get oysters in Brickell for happy hour so we weren't trying to do any tours. Who wants to live here!?!?!??! *RAISES HAND!!*

We make it to HH and are debating on half off sushi rolls or half off bar food at a high end bar. Oysters trump toro so we go to the River. The bartender gets Drew a Toddington and I order a white russian, mine was AWESOME! We then get the oyster po boy sliders to start...






heaven







on





earth.




Soooooo cementing my want for an apps only reception!!! O.M.GAWSH those things were amazing!!! We contemplated ordering another plate (there were only 3) but decided to start on the oysters.

We've already had fanny bay and kumamoto so one to the next ones. We like east coast (bigger, saltier) more than west coast (smaller, sweeter) but are open to anything. We order three kinds, 4 each. First time down, just raw. We want to know how they taste unadorned. Cotuits from MA were SALTY as the fluck. I cringed and had to drown the next one in this cucumber wasabi dressing that is only at River. AWESOME dressing for oysters!! The cucumber is so mild and absorbent of whatever quality can be harsh.
Dabob oysters from WA were very good by themselves and even better with mingonette sauce. We converted to west coast off of that one! The lesbian couple next to us reccommended them and I thanked them profusely. On my side of the bar was a lady who Drew thinks is a high end gypsy. She was def European so I deduced Spaniard. She only eats oysters.

her explanation was fried food doesn't do her body well and it has grown accustomed to raw food so that's what she feeds it. and she drinks mingionette sauce. Yes, champagne vinegar and diced red onion is what she takes shots of. Wow.

I don't remember the names of the 3rd one or the other 3 we tried the second dozen Drew ordered. And they change daily so looking on the menu today will do me no good. I do know I got another drink, this time a Greyhound (grapefruit and vodka). That hoe bartender squeezed the liquid equivalent of a supreme into my cup and the rest was vodka. I was drunk. I was nice off the russian but by the time it was time to leave, I was wobbly. and giggly.

Drew and I make it home and I change into the gray nightgown he got me!!! Woo hoo!!! I love my gray nighty and I'm SOOOOOOOO wearing a gray wedding dress!!! He finds the aux cable and we listen to kanye's goodfriday releases from my itoones. I fall off the bed trying to rewind a line in Power remix. Yes, I was that chick who fell off the bed after two drinks. We laugh our asses off and I take to tweeting my engagement. I'm just glad I didn't make it onto FB that day cause I'd still be fielding phone calls!! Before I wrote "All my old guys know I'm the one who got away", I asked Drew if he thinks he's the one who got away from all his exes. he says, "Hell yeah! I'm a good guy!" We high five cause i think i'm a good girl for all my exes and THEN I tweet.

I'm in the silliest mood and I'm tripping myself out about the past 24 hours. Then I fall asleep! HAHAHA!

Recap- breakfast on the water, nap, window-shopping at mall, apt gazing, happy hour oysters + drinks, kanye, sleep!

Stace, Wake Up!

Drew and I went to Bonita Springs for a Caribbean Fest he was playing in. It was cool, the city itself wasn't all that but we went and came right back. We got back in time to watch the rest of the Cowboys game and we were both watching, on edge. OMG, as you may or may not know, we lost and lost STUPIDLY. One of the announcers said it perfectly, "The Cowboys have been beaten again, by the Cowboys."

I was so upset at the last play that I literally put myself to sleep. Some 3 hours later, Drew starts fidgeting around, hugging me, kissing my un-wrapped head, and telling me how much he loves me, asks if I love him, who loves who more... mind you, I'm still asleep for the most part; head under the covers, fetal position. "Do you love me, babe?" "Yes, darling you know I do." "Ok, good, cause I love you too." "That's nice." I'm trying to sleep and he shakes me, "Hey, hey, turn around." "What? I'm sleeping!" "Wake up, turn around" I turn my head to face him, squinting cause i'm not awake yet, "What?????" "I love you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"

He puts the ring on my finger and I start laughing uncontrollably! Like, rolling around on the bed, wiping tears out of my eyes LAUGHING OUT LOUD. "ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!??! ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW!??! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" "So is that a yes??" "YESSSSSS!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA YOU ARE TOO MUCH! THIS IS TOO FUNNY!! DAMN, I'M AWAKE NOW! Awww babe, you're too cute!!! HAHAHAHA!!"

When all the laughing was done, he told me all the different ways he thought about proposing. He thought about using other people's children, putting inside of a cake, putting it on my finger while I was sleeping... then he realized the time was right (me sleeping?????) and he went with it. I'm play-play mad my hair was all un-wrapped, nails weren't done and I was half asleep but he said that it was perfect cause I went from zero to 100 in 5 seconds flat and he actually liked that I was drowsy. Weirdo!

Then we ordered sushi as usual and ate, he left for his show on SoBe, I called my mom and Jameil, chatted with Dani and decided to blog about it!

Now what's "weird" is that I thought I'd be on every social network screaming from the rooftops, "I's engaged!! FINALLY, IT HAS HAPPENED TO ME, RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE AND I JUST CANNOT HIDE IT! (I loved CeCe Pen). But I called 2 people, chatted with one, and sent out a few emails to a couple more. No tweets, no FB status update or profile picture of a left hand. I think I'm scared of EVERYONE being all in my business and I've heard the stories of people assuming/inviting themselves to your big day... no, not I.

What's also funny is that Mommy and I pored over my T&C Wedding mag yesterday morning over tea, pancakes and turkey sausage. I showed her all the pages I tabbed and we commented on likes and dislikes of every page. I've only done that with Jam and only felt comfy doing that with her yesterday. Then 24 hours later...!!!

So yeah, now the planning begins!! OW!!

Three Weeks Ago Today...

I woke up very excited. It was my only brother's wedding day! MY brother who at the mention of his name, to this DAY, gets a reaction for his rep in high school and college. My dog-ass brother who met the woman that would change all that. I started thinking about what I was going to say at the reception b/c siblings of the couple were expected to say something. Then I decided to let it come from the heart when the time came.

That morning, Drew and I got breakfast at this AWESOME bakery down the street. Crawfish with two eggs, gravy, and a biscuit. So simple and so awesome. OMG, it was def better than another broken egg! So that was at like, 730am. We went back to the hotel room and took a nap. I woke up around 10a and started flat-ironing Mini Me's hair. She had some natural looking ish sewn in and it was a beast! Noon rolls around and we're just walking around. Not sure what exactly is supposed to be done... my hair is wrapped with some body from the curls my hair-dresser put in two days prior, dress and accessories are ready... ho hum.

At 145, we get a text to meet in the dressing room at 2p. That upset me cause i'm like, "damn lil... no notice!" I hop in the shower, get my things together and head down around 245. I spend the next 2 hours kind of milling around. I had JR's hair-dresser throw a bump or two in my hair and that was it. Mini-Me did my make-up, I straightened her hair some more... ho hum. I pour JR some water to make sure she stays hydrated and I pretend to be busy so the photo could get some "candids" of the maids getting ready. We realize how quiet it is in the room and I made a note to self, "have music blasting while me and my girls get ready". JR asks for some music. "What kind?" "Rap, I don't want anything sappy cause it'll make me cry". For the one and only time in my life, I suggest Plies. JR emphatically agrees! Whyyyyyyyyyy...

did her BM put on Beyonsay? DANGEROUSLY I.N LOVE IS NOT THE SONG SHE WANTS TO HEAR AS SHE GETS READY TO WALK DOWN THE AISLE!!! you're fired. I take out my phone and play my UGK station on pandora. "yeaaaaaah!"

But the hair-dresser's grand-daughter is in the room so we end up going back to Bey.

445 rolls around and we're ready to rock. I look at all of us and marvel at how pretty our dresses are. We all looked really nice in our wisteria and eggplant *tear*.

In the hallway with the guys. Take more pics. Line up in front of the french doors that lead out. Game time!

5p, right on time, we start processing. Parents, minister, brother. Then Mini Me. Then me. I smile and walk OVERJOYED at the thought of what's about to happen. I look at our side of the space and almost start tearing up. This wonderful event brought family from near and far. People from GHANA and UK came to Panama City Beach to celebrate the union of my brother to his girl. I see his friends from MIDDLE school, I see Chargers, I see Rattlers. OMG, this is so awesome.

JR is about to walk down aisle and she looks breathtaking. She.looks.like a bride. As if my eyes went to soft focus (not tears), everything became hazy in a good way.

Ceremony goes on longer than it should've because pastor was not all there. He was repeating stuff, saying the vows Stan and JR were supposed to say (TWICE!!!!!), etc. I kept on looking at Stanley's face and I know what he was saying in his head, "Come on, man." He and JR had little convos here and there that were too cute and they held each other by the pinkies! A nice little humorous break came when someone on their boat decided to play RickJames' "Superfreak".

WOOOOOOW!! My cuz from DC was beside us taking pictures and it took EV.ER.Y.THING not to look at him and die from laughter!!! I made eye contact with the GMs and they peeped. How can you cut up while standing completely still??? They did!

Sand, rings, kiss, time to go! Man & Wife!! Now it's time for pics and the reception!

Two Weeks Ago Today

Drew and I woke up and headed to breakfast some 13 miles outside of Tallahassee. As I was driving to what was very close to the Georgia state line, I thought about the one time I drove out this far (and not cross into GA). It was for the very first champagne sip y'all have heard me rant and rave about.

Spring 2003, blah, blah, blah, you know the deal. White Boy Wasted before Gucci, yada, yada, yada. What really struck me was how long a drive Kitty and I had to make DRUNK. Yo, what the hell did we think we were doing? Not only were we driving from Bumbafcuk, but it was dark with barely any lighting and WE WERE DRUNK! Man, I was feeling that drive in broad daylight after a good night's sleep! It was only by the Grace of God did we and other party patrons made it home without any incident. Now if there were subsequent incidents that popped up... say 9 months later as a result of the aforementioned debauchery, that's on y'all!!

So we did breakfast. Blackberry grits are THEE best I've ever had! No more savory grits for me! I'm all about the sweet! Drew got a lobster omlette with a champagne cream sauce and I got a grit + crab cake with crawfish and company all on top of garlic french bread. The bread was great but I only had two bites. I try to limit my white carb intake. I've discovered I don't digest it well.

After brekky and the long drive back, I think we took a nap. Then we hit the road for Panama City Beach which depending on who you talk to, could take anywhere from 45min to 1.5 hours.

It took us 2.5 hours. Why? The way we were told to take was the 'one lane highway thru the backwoods of North Florida' way! The 'rebel flags and black nor jews are not welcome' way! Ugh, don't get stuck behind a slow moving truck or car... you know how much gas I burned speeding up to pass cars?? Not a fun thing to do. Then when we finally made it into a town that looks like Daytona's big sister who went off to college and got a little polish, it was just in time for traffic. Greeeeeat. So I'm stuck in traffic, I'm late even though I left well in advance, and guess what? We miss our turn. Well, I didn't miss the turn. My navigator missed it. You have know idea how many times we drove up and down the bride connecting Panama City and Panama City Beach... not my idea of fun. ESPECIALLY since his GPS ALWAYS flucks up.

We finally made it in time for the rehearsal and dinner. That went well; for me and Steph. We didn't talk to the other 3 maids the whole time. It was kind of the tone for the whole wedding weekend. Family kept to family. Steph and I talked, the other maids (cousins) talked. weird dynamic.

So on Thursday, I figured out I want a simple ceremony with food, family, and friends. On Friday, Steph and I discussed how everyone involved in the wedding should be friends. I can't imagine having a bridal party where the maids don't talk, don't know eachother, haven't spoken and don't speak. If y'all know me, I speak to everyone. But if I don't get as much as a head nod in passing ESPECIALLY AFTER I SPEAK...

So class, let's review!

Simple.

Friends.

Class dismissed!

One Week Ago

One week ago today, my brother got "married". In front of family and friends, my aunt, uncle, and I showered JR and her family with gifts straight from Ghana. Yards of fine cloths, scarves, jewelry, gin, etc. When all was said and done, my uncle said some things and placed JR's hand in my brother's. It was finished! If we were back home, that would be the wedding and the reception would begin.

As I get older, I look more to the traditions of my family. I was so excited to be a part of the Ghanian ceremony! I was very excited to see my family and JR's family participate in this joyous event. If you knew the headache that went into just Thursday, the minute it started, you would've breathed a sigh of relief along with me. Leaving Tally on time (her fam is in Micosukee), caravanning with family that was in town, prepping gifts and speeches... and on and on! My dad was thisclose to canceling it b/c most of our family friends wouldn't be in town till the next day. I'm glad he didn't.

Another thing I appreciated on Thursday was the simplicity of the event. Family. Friends. A table for all the gifts and dinner afterwards. That's all. No bouquets and boutonnieres. No mass made dresses and rental shoes. No venue that really has no reason to charge an arm & a leg. Just what's important; family, friends, food. That's how weddings used to be but unfortunately, "we" have gotten away from that. With the advent of wedding reality shows (bachelor/ette, anything on We/Oxygen, Cake _____, etc), I feel we've gotten away from what's important: family, friends, food.

I've been saying it for a long time, but Thursday confirmed for me how simple I want my eventual day to be.

Keepin It Real

cause that's just what I do!

So this weekend is my brother's wedding and Drew asked me to send him an e-mail of what to pack. I broke it down by the days and nights we would be there.

Long story short, in one of the days, I said "wear something decent, like a solid polo and either madras or seersucker shorts." He said he planned to wear jean shorts and I inadvertently went in on him.

"Drew, you can wear jean shorts whenever you want. Just not this Thursday, Friday, or Saturday. Matter of fact, I'll be nice. You can wear them on the way to NoFla and that's it." He wanted to know why not and I told him, "You can wear a faded tee and jean shorts when you're chilling. But when we're out, no jean shorts.

"Damn, so that's how you see me?"

"Noooooooo...

*damage control on 10*

I just know those are your comfort clothes but I want you to look extra good this weekend. You know I love you in those plaid shorts with your salmon polo..."

*flattery? yes?*

"Hmph."

*

I can't help that I'm brutally honest when it comes to clothes/style/fashion. If I love you dearly, I would want you to look your best, ESPECIALLY if I'm going to be with you. My parents are almost afraid to ask me how they look cause they know I'll keep it real!

I don't know what my mom had on one time but I told her she looked like she was going on date to a laundromat! How and where I got that imagery from is part of the "humor" in my critique but at the end of the day, it's very acute. It's kind of like when I'm on the phone and I hear noise in the background, I'll ask of some random ass situation. "It sounds like you're playing shuffleboard on your counter with a can of ravioli." is still one of my favorite deductions.

You know what, tho? I get it from my momma. I remember I bout DIED the time my dad had on some adidas tear away pants and a polo sport tee and she said "you look like the guy who follows rappers around, go change."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! SHE SAID YOU LOOK LIKE A MALE GROUPIE!

So anyway, this will be the first time a lot of my family members will be meeting Drew and I want him to look his best! Can you fault me for that? *bats eyelashes*

I Do... my way.

In less than one week, my brother will be a married man! Can you believe that?! I can't! I am so excited for him! I love JR for him; she def makes him a better person. He strives to provide for her. How cute is that?

So since i'm not the MOH, I don't have to make a speech, right? JR said as his sister I do. We're going to see about that!

Yo, when did it become the norm for children to pay for their own weddings? What happened to father of the bride or at least the bride's family taking care of the wedding? We need to bring back those days! I'm not even trying to do it big, I just want to do it my way and I don't want to pay for it! *hmph*

I'm talking about my wedding as if I'm even engaged. Oh well, I like talking about it so I will.

I wanted some shade of green (besides 'sage') but it's supposedly bad luck. I think it's fake bad luck and just Ghanians hating on the color green ("you will not have that nigerian green"). But now that I think about it, green is color that not everyone looks good in; it doesn't matter the shade. I don't want my maids looking sick.

Drew is so on this Vegas tip... "Let's just have a bunch of our friends go out there and we do it! And party afterwards!" I see where he's going with that but Britney.Spears comes to mind when I hear "let's just go out to Vegas for a wedding." He says it's only B.Spears when you've known the person for 3 months and get divorced less than 3 months later. Well, if a fabulous and thought out wedding can be planned out there, why not do the same... where?

MIAMI, BITCH!

did you expect anything less from me?

Again, I just want to have my homies around and we eat, chill, party. And I get married in a pretty dress sometime in between, is that too much to ask? Oh yeah, family can be present... on only one day!

A Ga Wedding Story

My dad made me type this up for my brother's wedding. He wants a handout at the reception where I think they will actually do this... I've seen it once on a Wedding Story YEARS ago and was geeked! I already knew the procedure but it's been a while and the refresher was cool!

*

The Ga marriage ceremony is where the groom’s family asks the bride’s family for the bride’s hand in marriage in the presence of family, friends, and well wishers. This ceremony as now been adopted by almost all ethnic groups in Ghana and now it is a necessary common rite of marriage for all Ghanaian couples. In Ghana today, some people perform this alone as a marriage ceremony, however most people go on to perform the Western wedding in a church in addition to the traditional marriage ceremony.

Procedure

The ceremony starts with the groom’s family “knocking” (kokooko) on the door of the bride’s family home. The groom’s family is gathered outside the house and waits for permission to enter.

- The groom’s family is given a seat with the groom in the rear of the group.

- The family is offered water to drink.

- The spokesperson of the groom announces his intentions by first asking if they are in the right house. “Is this the house of (bride's name)?”

- The bride’s family responds with, “Yes”.

- A religious official from the bride’s side prays to open the marriage ceremony

- - An elder from the groom’s side prays or pours libation for the same purpose.

The groom’s side presents drinks and presents for the bride and her family.

- The groom’s family poses a question to the bride’s family: “Is your lovely daughter free to be married to our son? She has not been betrothed to anyone, has she?” At this time, the aunties go to the back room where the bride has been and confer with her.

- They ask if she’s ready, explain how momentous the event is, and might even play a little delay tactics to make the groom, “sweat”. When they come from the room, they announce the bride is ready for marriage.

- The DJ begins to play loud, celebratory music

- The same group of women goes back to the room to dress the bride in beautiful attire. They bring her out to her family with music still playing.

- The bride’s family explains what has happened and ask if they can accept the presents on behalf of her.

- A male member of the bride’s family takes the bride hands and places them in the hands of the male leader of the groom’s family.

- He will then tell the groom’s family “we have given our daughter to you, promise to take care of her.” The male will go on to brag about the bride. “She is well fed, well educated, no scars, bumps, or bruises. She’s happy and drop dead gorgeous.”

- The groom’s family accepts the bride and also promises the bride’s family that she is in the right hands, in the right family. At this time, the male can brag about his family and their accomplishments.

- The groom comes from the back of the group and joins hands with his bride. They hug and kiss. They make rounds and greet people as a couple.

- Then the party really begins!

*

Sounds like a plan to me!

Randoms

One of my children wrote down what his homie told him about a girl in my class. "Jermaine said you are sexse."

1. What do you know about "sexse"? How old are you that you used that word for a classmate???

2. Should I've reminded him about the trailing 'y' and how it sounds like 'ee'? i.e. "sunnY", "cloudY", "StaceY"?

3. I wonder how I should've responded... I don't talk sex with 5 y.o.

*

Real talk, I thought I was going to get a ring this weekend. Drew made a big deal out of going to UM this weekend and got a hotel room at the most magnificent hotel I've ever been in, The Mayfair (waaaaaaaaaay prettier in person!)... for apparently no reason. But here's the kicker, when we checked out and got back to his place, he held my hand and said, "I'm looking for a stone for your ring."

*blink blink*

*

Tima is starting to grow on me. Bump that, she has grown on me. I was sooooooooooooo ready to give her back! But guess who REALLY likes her?? Mom Dukes! Little does she know, she's getting her!

*

I talk a big game about growing my hair but I reeeeeeallly like it "short". I'm starting to think the longest I'll grow it is chin-length. A graduated bob with the gentlest layers in the back sounds too chic! I can do the sleek look, I can do the roller wrap wavy look... I'm a fan!

Speaking of hair, my sister cut hers off. She really needed to. Her nape has not grown since her Sweet 16 when she first glued tracks to it. yeah. And if you know Mini Me, she STAYS with some weave in her hair; it never got a chance for fresh hair or a chance to rest. We shall see how long this will last.

*

It hit me that if I still lived with my parents, I would be more than able to afford a new car. Like, an actual new car. I'd never buy a brand new car but if I wanted to, I could've. My rent alone takes two car payments. Then there's my ortho bill, cell phone, car insurance, and utilities. I need a two income household.

*

Drew and I spent most of the weekend in Dade County. I so want to live there. While driving to UM, we looked at the pretty mediterranean houses and admired every last one. Then while on the topic, I asked if he wanted to own a house. He said yeah, so I asked why. He couldn't think of a reason. Then he was like, "Why DO we have to own a house? It's a nice idea but whose nice idea was it that it has to be ours?" My thoughts exactly. But, I do want a yard for children to play in wiffle ball in. And a driveway to put up a basketball goal. And the idea of renting a house sounds weird. Maybe when our first born turns 5, we'll buy a house. At the rate we're going, I'll holla at a mortgage at 40.

*

I watched '16 & Preg.nant' for the first time this weekend. Wow. Wow.

*blink blink/blankstare*

- my creepy old man neighbor felt the need to give me some advice this morning as I was rushing to work. "The best thing you can do in life is buy a house"...

*blink blink*.

Sir, I am in between reverse and drive and you stopped me to tell me that??

- same old man told me this afternoon, "The best thing you can do in life is buy a house." I'm thinking, I already got that tidbit from you but then he added a P.S.! "The second best thing you can do is not get married."

Wow.

"Well, if you do get married, don't marry a bum."

*blink blink*

- my mom drove from S.Lakes down Village to tell me my dad is planning the biggest Ghanian party... as my wedding reception. "Just like he wanted to invite everyone and their maid to my birthday party in Ghana, he wants to do that for your reception."

*blank stare*

"How come no-one believes me when I say I want a small wedding?"

"Tell your father now. He wants to invite the Colemans, their children, and their grandchildren. He says people get offended if you don't invite them so... do like Odette. Have a destination wedding. If entire families want to come, they can pay for it themselves."

- my sister hasn't ordered her bridesmaid dress for our only brother's wedding. Today was the deadline for ordering it to get it in time for just-in-case alterations.

did you follow that? if you order dress after today, you will get it in time for the wedding. but if you have to send it back for alterations, you will NOT get it in time for the wedding.

Why did she call me -on her way to Miami, mind you- to order her dress?

*blink blink*

"What have you been doing all day? Even if you woke up at 1pm, you could've gone to David's and ordered your dress and still have time to spare for the ride to MIA. Now why are you putting the pressure on ME not to ruin Jess' wedding cause YOU didn't order your dress? Chile, boo. You better find a computer down there and order it online."

- It was HIGHLY recommended we wear our FCAT shirts to show support for the 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders who began testing today. Okay, I'll wear this adult small tee that I'm not really a fan of. I wore it with skinny jeans and navy blue peep-toe pumps. Why did a teacher wearing khakis tell me, "Dr. M doesn't want us wearing jeans cause the children can't wear jeans"

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*blink blink*

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MAAAAAAN, futherMUCK the kids! I AM A TEACHER! I MAKE PENNIES! MY STARTING SALARY IS A JOKE AND... IT'S BEEN THE SAME FOR THE PAST THREE YEARS!! Leave me, and my futhermucking Joe jeans alone! yeah, I name dropped!! I'm wearing these damn jeans that I've been wanting and finally bought when I realized I wouldn't be making any more money!

What I said was, "Guess what? I did this already. I wore uniforms and had dress codes already. You know who's worried about the wrong thing?"

out.

Good Morning...??

I call my favorite uncle in VA to talk to my fave aunt from Chile. He said she's in bed being lazy so I figured she hasn't heard the news... I don't want to be the one calling first thing in the morning to say there's utter devastation in Chile so I just chat with my uncle for a while.

"How's everything?"

"Cool. I've been a little off this week so I'm very glad it's the weekend where I can just chill and only do what I want to do."

"I hear that. How's Andrew?"

"He's doing fine. He's getting a lot of engineering work and a lot of shows. That's always good you know, being an artist"

"Yeah, tell him I said 'hi'. You know I'm waiting for your wedding."

*Carrie Bradshaw look of shock, the one where she blinks & shakes her head like, "the hell!?" Damn, no lube? no dinner? Just straight to the fcuked*

"Everyone is. Have you gotten Stanley's Save the Date? Isn't it cute? OMG, I'm so excited!"

"The magnet? Yes! We've saved it and the date. But when can we save your date?"

*Damn Taurus persistence*

"Uncle, I don't know. We've talked and he bought the setting so he's looking for a stone now... baby steps."

"Okaaaay, you know we can't wait for that one. We'll be there and bring the whole gang"

"I know you will!"

"Alright Miss Afutu #1. I love hearing from you. Don't take any mess from your dad, you can tell him I said that. Talk to you later"

"*LOL* Okay Uncle Dzani, love you too, ttyl"

So much for a quickgardenweddinginMiamiBeachwheremy'maidswearayellowdressoftheirchoice followed by a wardrobe change and quickAstiandmarblecakereception chased with a fit change for the after-party at Ni.kki Beach South Beach...