Random Thoughts

The one thing I like abt my cycle is how my cup size goes up. I'm like a good A.5 right now. Looks hot in the v-necks. Too bad I don't feel that way.

While on the topic, is it safe to leave "artillery" (what I call fem products) in the car? The heat won't denature anything? I don't want asbestosis on my lady parts.

And STILL on the topic, why did I go to the master bathroom and find a box of liners from 1982!?!?!?! Kanye said it best, "put that p^$$* in a sarcophagus"

So one of my fave homies works for NAS.CAR and got me and Drew access to the last race in the series (Homestead). I have no idea what we got ourselves into. I do want to go and check it off my hypothetical list of things done in life. (Attend a NASCAR race). I do wonder what Craig Mack would do in my case...

The commericals with a random man (dos xx and oldspi.ce) are too funny! We need more anonymous people.

My class makes me want to have children. Seriously, when I work one-on-one with the babes, I marvel at their little brains working and making connections. the lightbulb makes everything worth it :-)

Guess who's the sponsor of the new and improved Cooking Club??? Yeah, another teacher pestered the hell out of the principal and she brought them back. Yesterday, we made carrot-banana bread. Yep, me and 24 2nd-5th graders! Nope, I've never made it before that day. They came out ok!! Possibly too much stirring but you can't ask children not to stir!

I had a talk with Lyds. I think everything should... *fingers crossed* be ok planning wise. All my favorite girls are on board and I'm chipping away at ceremony/reception sites! I's getting excited! Esp when Jam decides to come down! Aaaaaaaah!

Drew said his parents will prob be at our wedding. You have no idea how happy I was when he said that! Now let's schedule a meeting between now and June... Baby steps?

My hair has lost its mind. But, it's getting done tomorrow. I can't wait. No more depending on bobby pins to hold together my self esteem.

Yo, that dress I wore this past Saturday? Straight up disrespectful. It mocked me. I felt like sophomore year after spring break when ALL my jeans and underwear happened to shrink in the dryer... bastards. I swore up and down it was the super hot dryers fault... till my roomie pointed out my face did the opposite of shrink, Texas bitch. I'm kidding (abt calling her a b!. She was one of the nicest people at HU!)

Football was good to me this week. Cowboys won, Giants lost, steelers lost, Vick/Eagles (mostly Vick) won. Dude straight up solo gang banged the Skins. How do you want it? I'll run it, I'll pass it, I'll hail mary it, how you want it? I got it. Gimme dat.

Even though I have two different dress styles in mind, I'm going for the fun party look. Sheath says, "demure". It doesn't say "fun". My brother likes the one I like too! He's so cute, he told me about a nice wedding he saw where I'm thinking of wedding... awwww!

Whyyyyyyy, is there a lady at school who prints out everything she's doing for her daughter's wedding (april 2011) for me? And she asked what size I am in case I was close in size to her daughter who got married last October. Ummmm, thanks but no thanks?!

Who can't wait for Thanksgiving break??? I can't wait for T-Break! even though I know it's going to be some madness...

I'm out!

What am I 'posed to be doing right now?

Again, I thought I'd be having more fun at this time...

I DO however, have a renewed vigor in planning b/c Ricardo is back! I get it from my daddy! His energy is what I need right now, not Lyds faux martyr approach of "not wanting to get in the way"... really? You usually are very imposing ANY OTHER TIME...

Dani Colored Glasses helped me find some dresses online. I LOVE her immensely for that cause in case you don't know I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!!! And the MSW checklist said I'm behind on EVERYTHING! Makes me not want to go back and see what a failure I am :-(

This weekend, I'm going to a jewelry party and possibly a bridal store with the 10-10-10 bride whose BMs were everything I wanted. Their dresses and jewels made me so excited! Lyds was like, "Calm down!" I think I was jumping up and down a little bit, while you playing...

So Drew's neighbor is a photog; an AWESOME one with whom I've spent HOURS talking to abt the art and can spend hours not talking at all, just admiring his work in albums and on his walls, right? I'm going to ask him to take our e-photos. I'm hoping... *fingers crossed* he will find it in his heart to gift us e-party and wedding day shoots!!!!! HAHAHA!

MSW says I need my website up and running. I asked DCG's lil sis who did hers and it's the same person who did their photos... can I just get her to be my web mistress? I mean, the photos were great but I want to ask Drew's neighbor for photos and Chelsea for web techniness. Drew's neighbor JUST got a cell phone... and JUST got a digital SLR. I don't think he's doing websites.

Another photo op, a teacher I used to work with is married to this guy... ummm, HELLLLL YEAH!!!! I am a fan of his wedding port, but not the biggest fan of his e-photos... how does that work? Whatever the case, photos are a big deal so I'm doing my research on that!

Speaking of e-photos, I asked the boy if he wanted to do them,

D: (hesitantly) "Do you want to?"

Me: (matter-of-factly) "Don't answer a question with a question. Yes or No?"

D: (whiny) "Daaah, I don't want to do anything! But if you want to, we will."

Me: (terse) "Whatever."

So I thought having free reign would be fun... it's not.

Tricks or Treats

Next year, I'm finding someone's party to be at! Halloween could've been "funner" if there weren't so many gosh darn people in one place! OMG, I PROMISE all of WPB and half of PBC was Downtown last night for MoonFest! It was LITERALLY shoulder to shoulder EVERYWHERE! Is it really looking like the club on NYE right now?!?! Wow.

So we spent most of the time standing on a bench looking for RJ. Of course with a quarter million people in one place, your phone doesn't know what to do with itself... the only saving grace was I'm okay with being a people watcher and there were people to watch!

There's this one guy I SWORE was Trick Double but one of the girls Tish and I were with said, "Naw, that's his look." I still think he was TDD. I love Trick so that was a treat!

White people love Halloween like no other. They come up with some costumes!! Someone was a polaroid and taking pictures with people! when you saw it on your camera, it was plain genius! Treat!

I saw a beer pong table. I saw jerzey shore cast, I saw Dexter and various super heros. I saw a Spartan ARMY... yes, a legion of guys with skirts, breastplates, and different weapons/helmets. Sexy! Treat, Treat, Treat!

Every time I saw a good looking firefighter, I asked if the chick behind him was his girlfriend and if he said no, we took a picture. Treat!

Then there were the non-dressing scrubs who were like, "Ay! I'm on fire! Put me out!"

*blink*

You're so clever.

Or not.

Most black guys did NOT dress; and if they had something, it was a scream mask. really? Scream? from 1996? Not even jigsaw?? Waaaack.

And if our sistas felt festive, they put on some cat ears with a bodysuit. Why does it have to be the sloppiest looking chick in the onesie? Whyyyyyyyyyy?? I saw leopards, cheetahs, and panthers that should just be put down.

That's a quote for the books.

I think we would've had more fun if there was liq in our system. I'm just not a drinker like that and I had horrible drinks the night before. I can't believe I attacked Halloween sober but you live and you learn! I hope everyone had fun night, whether it was hanging at home or on somebody's street! Trick or Treat!

Randoms

I know you guys think I'm kidding, but I really do wonder what Craig Mack is doing right now and like I did on Twitter, I do wonder, "What Would Craig Mack Do?". It's soooooo random but he was the first victim of Diddie so I worry about him :-(

i've taken up to running. I would rather do conditioning (the whole nine; weights, sprints, balance, agility, etc) but seeing how I don't play an organized sport for a university, that's out. I do miss the gym and having a trainer...

speaking of working out, someone said we're going to play tennis this weekend. If not, I'll continue to get my solo run on.

i've started waxing again. It's amazing to not have to worry about unwanted hair for 3 or more weeks at a time!

we've narrowed it down. Summertime. LAWD, be a cold front!

who here knows how I feel about deadlines?? Planning a wedding doesn't mesh with me... all I know is I want dark pink fabulousness. oh yeah, and a gray dress.

School isn't fun right now. I don't like pressure... I'ma flip out one day...

the political ads that simply DOG the opponent piss me off. I tweeted about one that was simply, "If you like Barack, you'll LOVE (gov candidate)." are you freaking serious?!?! THAT'S what we've come to!?!? and you know there are STUPID people out there who don't know what the fluck is going on but now know NOT to vote for someone cause an ad used psychology on they dumb asses!!!

woosah.

when a person pisses me off to no end, I call them a ninja and I qualify it with their race. "I know this white ninja did NOT ignore my question!!!!!!!!" yes, I've called DFB that a few times. One time, to his face.

I have a grown up costume for Halloween this year!!! I thiiiink, you can click my 'pix' tag and see what i wore 4 years ago. It was not a game!

My favorite ex and I keep in contact. We are the only other person each other knows who loves MJ as much as the other does (did that make sense?). I was thinking about him this morning and guess who sent me a text? Fave ex! I then told him, "I wish we lived closer! We'd be awesome friends and couples!" He replies, "Hell yeah! More ig'nant than 50 Tyson! Y'all should move!" #ChileBoo. The next place I'm moving is to a tower overlooking somebody's water! wait, that can apply where he is... okay, next place I'm moving is the M-I-Yayo!

Art Ba.sel Miami Beach is coming! I's so excited! I LOOOOOOVE visual art!! and my last issue of W mag had a ginormous article on America's most important art show!! woo hoo, can't wait! We haven't been since 2007; that needs to be fixed asap-edly!

speaking of art, I think that adds to my LOVE of Kan. He can do no wrong in my book. People like to ride on him cause he's wearing a red v-neck with hella chains but who else would have the guts to wear that? I LOVE him for that!!! Just cause you're in "hip hop" doesn't mean it has to be jeans and timbs/af1s, stop with the pigeonholing. although I didn't like the song he did on SNL, i LOVED the performance. so simple!

nevermind, people just think you drank the Ye kool-aid if you like what he does. real talk, he's up there with Barack. DON'T TALK ABOUT MY PREZ OR MY 'YE!!

I plan on getting WBW this weekend. We know what happened last time I did that... I found myself an(other) WB admirer. a marine one. BTW, we google chat once in a while... bless his crazy heart. I told him I was engaged before I put it on FB and he said I broke his heart. *snickering*. You're doing the most right now. THEE.most.

I'm ready for my hair to be long again. It was growing like wildfire when I was in the salon every 10 days... but i can't be spending money on frivolity anymore! I gots to put some away for you know, that thing I'm having sometime in the summer... LOL!

Is it too soon to try on dresses? Jam and I are ready to fly to NY and stop by kleinfelds. Anitra, we'll layover in DC and you're coming with. Dani, meet us at 133rd and White Plains. *BREAK!*

Chic-fil- a made me feel better after my trying afternoon that included ig WW, data entry, unsupervised children, and CRYING.

I don't do crying.

Today should've been Friday.

Another Page in K.I.R.

Keeping It Real

I thought this time would be filled with me tasting cakes, playing in chiffon, and comparing shantung fabrics.

It's not.

I'm in a funny place. From my previous post, you know "we" have some family issues that have been discussed but not really resolved. Now that a wedding is in the future, the topic of them is sure to send someone off the deep end. I already feel like I'm walking on eggshells with him.

But then there's my side. My side who came out in surprising DROVES for my brother's wedding. My side, who when I called with the news of my engagement, was already planning for a trip to south florida (and that's without a date). My mom's sister in Strong Island, her sister in UK... my dad's brothers in BX, VA, and So. Fla who are THEE most excited.

THEEEEEE.most.

I'm the oldest grandchild on my mom's side so I really think my grandfather will make an appearance (from Ghana)... and my British cousins on both sides.

Then there's friends, family, classmates. I'm not having fun trying to figure out how to pull off something both of us will appreciate and keep my sanity.

The wedding websites overwhelm me. So much to do!

I'm over bridal mags. The last two I bought were underwhelming (Brides and MSW). I found a couple dresses I like, (two silhouettes, ball gown or sheath) so I just have to try them on and keep it moving.

and then of course there's life. You know, bills, work, immediate family... *sigh*

She's cool one minute, not awesome the next. Where's my daddy?

How do bride-to-bes do this? Life has to go one while you plan this ONCE IN A LIFETIME event!

The Un-Fun Side

I went to church for an event and talked to the priest about my engagement. It wasn't a formal thing, just he was sitting beside me asking why I wasn't in church on Sunday and I showed him my ring. He beamed and excused me but expected me next week. Happy, Happy Joy Joy. he asked for a date and of course I don't have one yet but then Lyds (on my other side) said, "Well they won't be getting married in church, he's a Jew."

Damn.

Drew told me 'jew' isn't necessarily bad, but saying someone is 'Jewish' is better than calling them a Jew.

Father said, "That's not a problem. I've co-officiated a Jewish-Christian wedding. But you do know his parents have probably disowned him right? And what are you going to do about your children? How will they be raised? Are you converting? Is he converting?"

"We've talked about his parents and Drew has made his decision a long time ago. Children will be raised in an Episcopalian church b/c he doesn't go to temple, he was just born Jewish."

"Okay! As long as you know!"

Yeah, I do. Thanks for bringing it up.


Thursday, I spent the afternoon and evening at my brother's house. We all were excited about my engagement but of course, the tone turned serious when his family came up.

"So how are his parents taking it?"
"They aren't."
"So they won't be at your wedding?"
"Probably not"
"And what about the engagement? What family will he have there?"
"Maaaybe his sister who lives down here, but he says she's crazy and I think she's a little upset Drew made his decision whereas she listened to their parents and stopped dating her non-Jewish guy"
"Damn. That will be weird not to have your parents at your wedding. They've known about you so what's the problem?"
"I'm not and never will be Jewish. *shoulder shrug*"

It's like I'm so excited and floating but then reality SMACKS me in the face.

Drew and I have addressed the family issue. Of course I haven't shared our convos with everyone else but it always takes me for a loop when people bring it up. And because people don't even know he's NOT black and damn sure don't know he's Jewish, when they find out, the questions I myself had to finally ask, re-hash the feelings of deserted-ness.

How weird will that be to have a beautiful ceremony followed by a wonderful reception and his family is noticeably absent? I'm feeling for DFB right now. I have my ginormous family in full support and he has no-one.

First Day

Due to all the excitement, i didn't go to bed till 4am. And in true to Adei fashion, I woke up sometime before 8a. caught up on twitter, emails, sent out more emails and texts, watched MikeNMike. Drew was knocked out after two shows and the nerves of proposing. He finally woke up around 9am and we decided we'll get breakfast on the water after running a few errands. Errands done, we take the long way to get to Hollywood Beach by driving thru the neighborhoods. I felt like we were little kids dreaming of the day when we could live in a "mansion".

We had breakfast on the water and decided the nap we were going to take was going to be epic. Go home, nap, wake up and decide I need a case for my new iTuch. To the aventura mall it is! Apul store is of course bananas so we just walk around. I tried on a couple dresses Drew saw in window displays at maxStudio and Barney's... DVF has a leather jacket i NEED in my life!! We pass wet seal and the window display has a racer girl costume! OMG, I wanted it but saw they had female prisoner, two kinds of Ms. Officer, french maid (how original), firefighter, bar wench, etc. I try on the racer girl, the prisoner, and the firefighter. Drew LOVED the same one I did so I got it! I'm wearing it to a Halloween party this Friday!!!!! Pics coming soon!

We walked some more, decided Bebe is more miss than hit, there are a lot of high end latino shops in the mall, and we should look at apartments...

!!!!!!!!!!!

We check out a couple towers that look absolutely amazing!! When I say check out, I mean drive-by, lol. We also decided to get oysters in Brickell for happy hour so we weren't trying to do any tours. Who wants to live here!?!?!??! *RAISES HAND!!*

We make it to HH and are debating on half off sushi rolls or half off bar food at a high end bar. Oysters trump toro so we go to the River. The bartender gets Drew a Toddington and I order a white russian, mine was AWESOME! We then get the oyster po boy sliders to start...






heaven







on





earth.




Soooooo cementing my want for an apps only reception!!! O.M.GAWSH those things were amazing!!! We contemplated ordering another plate (there were only 3) but decided to start on the oysters.

We've already had fanny bay and kumamoto so one to the next ones. We like east coast (bigger, saltier) more than west coast (smaller, sweeter) but are open to anything. We order three kinds, 4 each. First time down, just raw. We want to know how they taste unadorned. Cotuits from MA were SALTY as the fluck. I cringed and had to drown the next one in this cucumber wasabi dressing that is only at River. AWESOME dressing for oysters!! The cucumber is so mild and absorbent of whatever quality can be harsh.
Dabob oysters from WA were very good by themselves and even better with mingonette sauce. We converted to west coast off of that one! The lesbian couple next to us reccommended them and I thanked them profusely. On my side of the bar was a lady who Drew thinks is a high end gypsy. She was def European so I deduced Spaniard. She only eats oysters.

her explanation was fried food doesn't do her body well and it has grown accustomed to raw food so that's what she feeds it. and she drinks mingionette sauce. Yes, champagne vinegar and diced red onion is what she takes shots of. Wow.

I don't remember the names of the 3rd one or the other 3 we tried the second dozen Drew ordered. And they change daily so looking on the menu today will do me no good. I do know I got another drink, this time a Greyhound (grapefruit and vodka). That hoe bartender squeezed the liquid equivalent of a supreme into my cup and the rest was vodka. I was drunk. I was nice off the russian but by the time it was time to leave, I was wobbly. and giggly.

Drew and I make it home and I change into the gray nightgown he got me!!! Woo hoo!!! I love my gray nighty and I'm SOOOOOOOO wearing a gray wedding dress!!! He finds the aux cable and we listen to kanye's goodfriday releases from my itoones. I fall off the bed trying to rewind a line in Power remix. Yes, I was that chick who fell off the bed after two drinks. We laugh our asses off and I take to tweeting my engagement. I'm just glad I didn't make it onto FB that day cause I'd still be fielding phone calls!! Before I wrote "All my old guys know I'm the one who got away", I asked Drew if he thinks he's the one who got away from all his exes. he says, "Hell yeah! I'm a good guy!" We high five cause i think i'm a good girl for all my exes and THEN I tweet.

I'm in the silliest mood and I'm tripping myself out about the past 24 hours. Then I fall asleep! HAHAHA!

Recap- breakfast on the water, nap, window-shopping at mall, apt gazing, happy hour oysters + drinks, kanye, sleep!

Stace, Wake Up!

Drew and I went to Bonita Springs for a Caribbean Fest he was playing in. It was cool, the city itself wasn't all that but we went and came right back. We got back in time to watch the rest of the Cowboys game and we were both watching, on edge. OMG, as you may or may not know, we lost and lost STUPIDLY. One of the announcers said it perfectly, "The Cowboys have been beaten again, by the Cowboys."

I was so upset at the last play that I literally put myself to sleep. Some 3 hours later, Drew starts fidgeting around, hugging me, kissing my un-wrapped head, and telling me how much he loves me, asks if I love him, who loves who more... mind you, I'm still asleep for the most part; head under the covers, fetal position. "Do you love me, babe?" "Yes, darling you know I do." "Ok, good, cause I love you too." "That's nice." I'm trying to sleep and he shakes me, "Hey, hey, turn around." "What? I'm sleeping!" "Wake up, turn around" I turn my head to face him, squinting cause i'm not awake yet, "What?????" "I love you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"

He puts the ring on my finger and I start laughing uncontrollably! Like, rolling around on the bed, wiping tears out of my eyes LAUGHING OUT LOUD. "ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!??! ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW!??! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" "So is that a yes??" "YESSSSSS!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA YOU ARE TOO MUCH! THIS IS TOO FUNNY!! DAMN, I'M AWAKE NOW! Awww babe, you're too cute!!! HAHAHAHA!!"

When all the laughing was done, he told me all the different ways he thought about proposing. He thought about using other people's children, putting inside of a cake, putting it on my finger while I was sleeping... then he realized the time was right (me sleeping?????) and he went with it. I'm play-play mad my hair was all un-wrapped, nails weren't done and I was half asleep but he said that it was perfect cause I went from zero to 100 in 5 seconds flat and he actually liked that I was drowsy. Weirdo!

Then we ordered sushi as usual and ate, he left for his show on SoBe, I called my mom and Jameil, chatted with Dani and decided to blog about it!

Now what's "weird" is that I thought I'd be on every social network screaming from the rooftops, "I's engaged!! FINALLY, IT HAS HAPPENED TO ME, RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE AND I JUST CANNOT HIDE IT! (I loved CeCe Pen). But I called 2 people, chatted with one, and sent out a few emails to a couple more. No tweets, no FB status update or profile picture of a left hand. I think I'm scared of EVERYONE being all in my business and I've heard the stories of people assuming/inviting themselves to your big day... no, not I.

What's also funny is that Mommy and I pored over my T&C Wedding mag yesterday morning over tea, pancakes and turkey sausage. I showed her all the pages I tabbed and we commented on likes and dislikes of every page. I've only done that with Jam and only felt comfy doing that with her yesterday. Then 24 hours later...!!!

So yeah, now the planning begins!! OW!!

I Don't Understand

I don't know what's wrong. I am very happy right now. Believe it or not, I thank the Lord daily for not sending me to DC. Yeah, I was devastated when the school started but I honestly feel like this year is going better than any I could imagine. From a professional point of view, I am elated.

From a personal p.o.v., I go back and forth. I'm pretty much cool with being at home cause it allows me to take care of bills with ease. I can do whatever I want when I want to. I have a car I love and I'm doing well with, my credit score gets higher as I finish off little remnants of college, and my peoples are better (I think) than they have been in the past.

I think I'm in a good place. I appreciate where I am cause I'm sure it's where I should be.

So whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy isn't anyone else happy but me? I am comfortable in my own skin and situation, why are you "embarassed" (her words)? What haven't I done that is crushing your soul? I didn't buy a house. But I don't want a house. I really don't want to own a house right now. I don't want a lawn, I don't want HOA fees, I don't want any of the things that come with homeownership RIGHT NOW.

I don't have an advanced degree yet. Lord. Why doesn't anyone listen to me when I say I would give myself 3 years to get my tenure and then go from there? It took me 2 schools, 2 majors, 7 years to come out with something I was happy with. I didn't want to be a pharmacist. I'm sorry I disappointed you by changing my major but deal with it. I am happy doing what I do. Why can't you be happy for me?

Last but not least... fuck it. I don't even want to talk abt it anymore.

Cheaters

Have you ever watched that show? Why is it so hilarious? But at the same time so sad? I'm wondering if I could've been on an episode...

So you know I have a crusher. That's my term for someone who crushes. Yes, TM really likes me after one incident of dancing the night away and a couple games of bowling. And me being me, I don't encourage crushers but I def don't crush them either... am I an enabler??

Whatever the case, for week 3 of partying with the WBs, RJ, Tish, and I were supposed to go karaoke-ing. What ended up happening was me and TM playing pool. Yep, just us two.

Now in MY head, I don't like him like that. He's a bit off from various injuries, he's a vet, he smokes his medicine pretty much all day, he's just visiting for a month or two, etc. No reason to start anything even if I was single. Oh yeah, he has an ex-fiance and an ex-wife. Sir.

I regress. I don't like him. I don't want him. I do appreciate the attention b/c of what's going on in my personal life (will talk abt later) and I honestly just have fun with him. I see it as the beginning of a cool friendship with the opposite sex. But, I know TM doesn't see it that way and I can only imagine how DFB would see it if he was watching me on video from an unmarked van.

We shot a couple games of pool, of course he whooped my arse cause he's good at everything, he drank a mug of beer, I had water... I started getting hungry so we went to a nearby bbq restaurant. We ordered and ate and left. Then went to DD for a chocolate craving he needed to fix. Oh yeah, your boy LOOOOOOOVES chocolate. More than any guy I've ever seen. All kinds of chocolate too. o_O

We sat outside of DD while he talked abt some Marine stuff, things he did his freshman year at WVU before he joined the Corp, the fact you can give him ANY weapon whether he was trained on it or not, from bow n arrow to rocket launcher, and he can hit the target in 3 or less shots, from its MAXIMUM range (I thought that was a scary cool piece of info), talked about how he spent a whole month stalking, hunting, and trapping a top 10 villian so that was 30 he did not shower...his italian mother and his german father, etc. He found it remarkable I called him an "Axis baby" and thought I was even better cause I'm cute and smart. The whole time he's talking and stuffing his face with coffee and dough, I'm thinking, "I hope nobody I know happens to show up... that'll be fcuked up." Because I started feeling guilty abt what I was doing even though on the other side of that coin, I knew I wasn't doing anything, I got up and said, "okay, I have to go now."

My question to you readers, was I wrong? I'm on the fence with myself. My definition of cheating is surprisingly liberal and I will def talk abt that in another post cause the TM issue is far from over. But talk to me abt opposite sex friendships, can you make new ones or is someone getting set-up for the okie-doke?

Lord, Lordy, Lord

Y'all thought it was over, didn't you?

So he calls to make sure I got home, I tell him I got in by the skin of my teeth and that's all I remember. No, I remember thinking, "I'm never going to be able to fall asleep, the ringing in my ears won't stop."

I fall asleep and wake up and hour later than usual (8a). I text Dani to find out when exactly Ash's shower is and I really think I was on the verge of tears when she told me it was in about 3 hours. Aww man, might don't make it. I was clearly drunk when I woke up. And I had a slight headache. back to sleep.

Woke up at 1030 and told myself I have to start getting ready for the shower. My hair was a mess cause I think TM was running his fingers thru it...? and I of course didn't wrap that ish the night before. I check my phone and see a text from TM.

"Hey gorgeous! Just want to let you know I had the most fun in a long time! You are awesome! I hope we can hang out again!"

Lord.

I eventually make it to the shower; Dani directs me straight to the OJ... I think she told me to bypass all guests and just keep walking... that OJ was the best thing that ever happened to me that day!

I get another text from TM,

"How's your day going? I hope you don't have a hangover! You were stumbling a bit but don't worry, I had you! And no-one was going to mess with you!"

"I'm barely at a bridal shower, drinking orange juice. I'll talk to you later."

I don't know when I text him but I do know the 5 of us who were at SkyBar decided we would go bowling the next Friday.

Friday rolls around, TM and I have been texting general ass texts that would NOT be awesome if I didn't have unlimited everything...

TM: hope you have a good day!

Me: thanks, you too

Friday night, RJ and I are on the phone on our ways to the alley. We're thinking, "It bets not be date night at the bowling alley... I'm sure they'd like that but yeah, no."

We walk in and it's AWESOME! Better than the alley we girls went to when Kitty was here last! The side we're bowling on had black lights and music and ish... DAMN! This looks like it'll be fun!

Matt and TM show us the lane and we get started! Apparently, Matt used to work there and is a bowling genius. Do you know what a Turkey is? 3 strikes in a row. Yeah, that was his cup du jour. TM has a gangsta arm that bowls 20-25mph and ish... Me and RJ? 8lb ball, 7mph, gutter balls. Aww man, it was so sad!! But fun at the same time cause bowling is just fun in itself!

So Matt is watching our technique and he gives us pointers,

STRIKE!!!

I GOT A STRIKE!!! I GOT A FUTHERMUCKING STRIKE!!! Awww man, I'm doing cheerleading leaps and spirit fingers, TM picks me up and throws me in the air! I yelp and he says, "Aww baby, I got you! And I don't want to let go!"

BREAK

"You know I'm in a relationship right? It says so on my fasebook page."

"I know, I'm sorry. You're just so darn cute! I just want to pick you up and hold you! And if given the opportunity, I'd make you mine. But I don't want the karma of messing up what you got."

"You don't know me. This is out second time ever seeing each other in LIFE. I've known D since high school, you know? There's history there. So we can hang out with RJ and Matt and have fun and all that and and hug here or there... but you're going to have to admire me from afar."

OMG, i'm so full.

"I hear you sweetie, any time with you is good enough for me"

and then he kisses me hard on the cheek.

RJ's like, "Girrrrrrl, that boy is in LOVE with you!"

Lordy

We've bowled I don't know how many games and I start to get hungry. But hungry for pancakes. We leave the alley and go to Denny's. That's when more info comes out.

So we know he lives in Cali and is here visiting his cousins for a month or two.

He gets medical... natural medicine, yeah.

He is SERE trained

He has jumped out of and driven any and everything you can think of.

He can most likely take out anyone in a given place

Depending on the state, he is considered a deadly weapon

He's been a part of missions that have captured Top 10 villians

oh yeah, "[he] can keep [me] very, very safe". He is TRAINED and INGRAINED to put his life on the line.

*blink blink*

Lord.

TMI

Two weeks ago, RJ and I were on this, "We need to get white boy wasted tonight.". It was one of those weeks were everybody and their mother was getting on our nerves and we wanted to drink our tension away. We met downtown at the SkyBar and caught up on each other's lives. About 15 minutes in, we decide to start drinking. "I got the first round, what do you want?" I tell her to get me a White Russian and she's off to grab two. She comes back with two white boys and they weren't russian.

"Adei, remember Matt?! We went to SOA together!"

"I recognize the face, I'll have to dig out my middle school yearbook."

"Well, he and his cousin bought our drinks, yay!"

"Oh, yay! Have a seat!"

(lmao)

So introductions go around, RJ and I are sippin on really good white rush, the guys are drinking beer (duh) and the cousin starts telling a story about the Marine Rugby Team. Then I see his tatts on either arm. 'RUGBY' on one arm and the seal for the US.MC on the other. Whoa.

"So yeah, it's a pile up and all you hear is 'FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!' We get up and there's blood everywhere. Yeah, his bone broke and was sticking out. But my captain was more upset he had to miss the rest of the game!"

*cue the girly "ewwwwwwwwwwwww!"*

"Aww man, we're Marines! Recon, not desk jobs either!"

That went over my head but I knew better than to ask what that meant. I didn't feel like engaging a military man in what he does. Plus, you never know what kind of response you'll get.

We finish our drinks and Matt tells us the bartender is a... (the kind that throw bottles and cups and stuff... flamer?) show bartender AND he happens to be his best friend. "Let's do a shot!"

RJ and I look at each other and give the kanyeshrug. "Why not? We're not paying!"

I think The Marine made a dirty toast but I wasn't listening, the DJ was playing my song so I wanted to get on the dance floor. But before that happened, I got a text from Tisha saying she's on her way so we hang out by the bar for a few more minutes. Then The Marine busts into a solo dance. Loooord, look at this awkward WB...

Matt says, "You guys want another drink? The bartender is my friend!"

if he told us that one more time... I think it was his sad version of game

RJ and I look at each other and vote on a fruity drink. "Nothing with bananas and we're good." It was some kind of transparent punch drink the bartender came up with. I think there was sprite in it. Maybe it was sizzurp.

Tish shows up and gets a blue long island. More introductions and information. Come to find out, The Marine is also a martial artist, a championship swimmer, basketball player, track & fielder from West Virginia (ran against Randy Moss in high school) and computer geek. He was medically retired from the military cause he suffered too many concussions and started suffering from nerve damage. He was also getting black-out migraines. Then we hit the dance floor.

Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!!! Can I tell you how The Marine was dancing his ass off?!!?!? He knew the words to EVERY song and was get.ting it the whole night! Squats, dips, two steps, double time, shimmies, shakes, slow wines, cupid shuffles, butterflies, kid n play...

I was beyond surprised.

I was TRULY at a loss for words.

And then I was excited!

I hadn't danced like that since Labor Day 07 when Jameil came to visit and we did Nicky Beach!! Man!

I got thirsty, got another white russian and we danced some more. Baby Got Back came on and he cut up on the "Even white boys got to shout" part!!! LMAO!!!!! But

That's when the TMI (The Marine Incident) began.

"You are too much fun!"

"Oh I think I like you!"

"Are you okay, let me know if anyone messes with you, I'll fcuk their ass up!"

"You have a nice body!"

"Can I kiss you?"

BREAK

"Alriiiiiight, it's past 3am and I have a bridal shower to go to in a few. Tish and I will walk each other to our cars, seeyoulaterkthxbye"

They leave but I am in NONE shape to even walk down stairs. We stand and look down on the people below (lit and fig) while I try to regain some sense of ANYTHING. About half an hour goes by, we get into a little conversation with a Jamaican who was just saying all the wrong things so we REALLY decide, "Okay, time to go." I thought it was all good till I took a step. "Fuuuuuuuuuuuck, I'm white boy wasted."

Then TM calls.

Three Weeks Ago Today...

I woke up very excited. It was my only brother's wedding day! MY brother who at the mention of his name, to this DAY, gets a reaction for his rep in high school and college. My dog-ass brother who met the woman that would change all that. I started thinking about what I was going to say at the reception b/c siblings of the couple were expected to say something. Then I decided to let it come from the heart when the time came.

That morning, Drew and I got breakfast at this AWESOME bakery down the street. Crawfish with two eggs, gravy, and a biscuit. So simple and so awesome. OMG, it was def better than another broken egg! So that was at like, 730am. We went back to the hotel room and took a nap. I woke up around 10a and started flat-ironing Mini Me's hair. She had some natural looking ish sewn in and it was a beast! Noon rolls around and we're just walking around. Not sure what exactly is supposed to be done... my hair is wrapped with some body from the curls my hair-dresser put in two days prior, dress and accessories are ready... ho hum.

At 145, we get a text to meet in the dressing room at 2p. That upset me cause i'm like, "damn lil... no notice!" I hop in the shower, get my things together and head down around 245. I spend the next 2 hours kind of milling around. I had JR's hair-dresser throw a bump or two in my hair and that was it. Mini-Me did my make-up, I straightened her hair some more... ho hum. I pour JR some water to make sure she stays hydrated and I pretend to be busy so the photo could get some "candids" of the maids getting ready. We realize how quiet it is in the room and I made a note to self, "have music blasting while me and my girls get ready". JR asks for some music. "What kind?" "Rap, I don't want anything sappy cause it'll make me cry". For the one and only time in my life, I suggest Plies. JR emphatically agrees! Whyyyyyyyyyy...

did her BM put on Beyonsay? DANGEROUSLY I.N LOVE IS NOT THE SONG SHE WANTS TO HEAR AS SHE GETS READY TO WALK DOWN THE AISLE!!! you're fired. I take out my phone and play my UGK station on pandora. "yeaaaaaah!"

But the hair-dresser's grand-daughter is in the room so we end up going back to Bey.

445 rolls around and we're ready to rock. I look at all of us and marvel at how pretty our dresses are. We all looked really nice in our wisteria and eggplant *tear*.

In the hallway with the guys. Take more pics. Line up in front of the french doors that lead out. Game time!

5p, right on time, we start processing. Parents, minister, brother. Then Mini Me. Then me. I smile and walk OVERJOYED at the thought of what's about to happen. I look at our side of the space and almost start tearing up. This wonderful event brought family from near and far. People from GHANA and UK came to Panama City Beach to celebrate the union of my brother to his girl. I see his friends from MIDDLE school, I see Chargers, I see Rattlers. OMG, this is so awesome.

JR is about to walk down aisle and she looks breathtaking. She.looks.like a bride. As if my eyes went to soft focus (not tears), everything became hazy in a good way.

Ceremony goes on longer than it should've because pastor was not all there. He was repeating stuff, saying the vows Stan and JR were supposed to say (TWICE!!!!!), etc. I kept on looking at Stanley's face and I know what he was saying in his head, "Come on, man." He and JR had little convos here and there that were too cute and they held each other by the pinkies! A nice little humorous break came when someone on their boat decided to play RickJames' "Superfreak".

WOOOOOOW!! My cuz from DC was beside us taking pictures and it took EV.ER.Y.THING not to look at him and die from laughter!!! I made eye contact with the GMs and they peeped. How can you cut up while standing completely still??? They did!

Sand, rings, kiss, time to go! Man & Wife!! Now it's time for pics and the reception!

Last Night's Dream

I was in my room trying to turn on the light. I knew where the fan/light was but I could never reach the cord. Or when I did find the cord, it was for the fan. So I'm in my room with the fan on 3 just trying to turn on the light. The light in the hallway was on and gave enough for me to see there was a flying beetle on my arm. When I tried to kill it, the fan blew it away. I tried to lie down and there were 10 roaches on my pillow. I feel like my brother tried to come help me kill them or turn on the light but both our efforts were in vain.

I googled dream dictionary and came up with these two.

Darkness

If you dream that you are stumbling around and groping your way about in a dark room or building this is an omen that you do not have enough information about a person, place, or thing to make a clear decision. If you find the light switch, you will meet with success after acquiring understanding. A lost article will be found if you dream you were walking in the darkness.

Insects

Insects in a dream always represent obstacles that you must overcome to reach your goals, if you manage to exterminate them or they are not bothersome to you then you will meet your obstacles with strength, and be able to overcome them. Insects also represent excessive worry over certain things, meditate to find out what they might mean to you by using all the symbols in your dream for reference.

Two Weeks Ago Today

Drew and I woke up and headed to breakfast some 13 miles outside of Tallahassee. As I was driving to what was very close to the Georgia state line, I thought about the one time I drove out this far (and not cross into GA). It was for the very first champagne sip y'all have heard me rant and rave about.

Spring 2003, blah, blah, blah, you know the deal. White Boy Wasted before Gucci, yada, yada, yada. What really struck me was how long a drive Kitty and I had to make DRUNK. Yo, what the hell did we think we were doing? Not only were we driving from Bumbafcuk, but it was dark with barely any lighting and WE WERE DRUNK! Man, I was feeling that drive in broad daylight after a good night's sleep! It was only by the Grace of God did we and other party patrons made it home without any incident. Now if there were subsequent incidents that popped up... say 9 months later as a result of the aforementioned debauchery, that's on y'all!!

So we did breakfast. Blackberry grits are THEE best I've ever had! No more savory grits for me! I'm all about the sweet! Drew got a lobster omlette with a champagne cream sauce and I got a grit + crab cake with crawfish and company all on top of garlic french bread. The bread was great but I only had two bites. I try to limit my white carb intake. I've discovered I don't digest it well.

After brekky and the long drive back, I think we took a nap. Then we hit the road for Panama City Beach which depending on who you talk to, could take anywhere from 45min to 1.5 hours.

It took us 2.5 hours. Why? The way we were told to take was the 'one lane highway thru the backwoods of North Florida' way! The 'rebel flags and black nor jews are not welcome' way! Ugh, don't get stuck behind a slow moving truck or car... you know how much gas I burned speeding up to pass cars?? Not a fun thing to do. Then when we finally made it into a town that looks like Daytona's big sister who went off to college and got a little polish, it was just in time for traffic. Greeeeeat. So I'm stuck in traffic, I'm late even though I left well in advance, and guess what? We miss our turn. Well, I didn't miss the turn. My navigator missed it. You have know idea how many times we drove up and down the bride connecting Panama City and Panama City Beach... not my idea of fun. ESPECIALLY since his GPS ALWAYS flucks up.

We finally made it in time for the rehearsal and dinner. That went well; for me and Steph. We didn't talk to the other 3 maids the whole time. It was kind of the tone for the whole wedding weekend. Family kept to family. Steph and I talked, the other maids (cousins) talked. weird dynamic.

So on Thursday, I figured out I want a simple ceremony with food, family, and friends. On Friday, Steph and I discussed how everyone involved in the wedding should be friends. I can't imagine having a bridal party where the maids don't talk, don't know eachother, haven't spoken and don't speak. If y'all know me, I speak to everyone. But if I don't get as much as a head nod in passing ESPECIALLY AFTER I SPEAK...

So class, let's review!

Simple.

Friends.

Class dismissed!

One Week Ago

One week ago today, my brother got "married". In front of family and friends, my aunt, uncle, and I showered JR and her family with gifts straight from Ghana. Yards of fine cloths, scarves, jewelry, gin, etc. When all was said and done, my uncle said some things and placed JR's hand in my brother's. It was finished! If we were back home, that would be the wedding and the reception would begin.

As I get older, I look more to the traditions of my family. I was so excited to be a part of the Ghanian ceremony! I was very excited to see my family and JR's family participate in this joyous event. If you knew the headache that went into just Thursday, the minute it started, you would've breathed a sigh of relief along with me. Leaving Tally on time (her fam is in Micosukee), caravanning with family that was in town, prepping gifts and speeches... and on and on! My dad was thisclose to canceling it b/c most of our family friends wouldn't be in town till the next day. I'm glad he didn't.

Another thing I appreciated on Thursday was the simplicity of the event. Family. Friends. A table for all the gifts and dinner afterwards. That's all. No bouquets and boutonnieres. No mass made dresses and rental shoes. No venue that really has no reason to charge an arm & a leg. Just what's important; family, friends, food. That's how weddings used to be but unfortunately, "we" have gotten away from that. With the advent of wedding reality shows (bachelor/ette, anything on We/Oxygen, Cake _____, etc), I feel we've gotten away from what's important: family, friends, food.

I've been saying it for a long time, but Thursday confirmed for me how simple I want my eventual day to be.

Keepin It Real

cause that's just what I do!

So this weekend is my brother's wedding and Drew asked me to send him an e-mail of what to pack. I broke it down by the days and nights we would be there.

Long story short, in one of the days, I said "wear something decent, like a solid polo and either madras or seersucker shorts." He said he planned to wear jean shorts and I inadvertently went in on him.

"Drew, you can wear jean shorts whenever you want. Just not this Thursday, Friday, or Saturday. Matter of fact, I'll be nice. You can wear them on the way to NoFla and that's it." He wanted to know why not and I told him, "You can wear a faded tee and jean shorts when you're chilling. But when we're out, no jean shorts.

"Damn, so that's how you see me?"

"Noooooooo...

*damage control on 10*

I just know those are your comfort clothes but I want you to look extra good this weekend. You know I love you in those plaid shorts with your salmon polo..."

*flattery? yes?*

"Hmph."

*

I can't help that I'm brutally honest when it comes to clothes/style/fashion. If I love you dearly, I would want you to look your best, ESPECIALLY if I'm going to be with you. My parents are almost afraid to ask me how they look cause they know I'll keep it real!

I don't know what my mom had on one time but I told her she looked like she was going on date to a laundromat! How and where I got that imagery from is part of the "humor" in my critique but at the end of the day, it's very acute. It's kind of like when I'm on the phone and I hear noise in the background, I'll ask of some random ass situation. "It sounds like you're playing shuffleboard on your counter with a can of ravioli." is still one of my favorite deductions.

You know what, tho? I get it from my momma. I remember I bout DIED the time my dad had on some adidas tear away pants and a polo sport tee and she said "you look like the guy who follows rappers around, go change."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! SHE SAID YOU LOOK LIKE A MALE GROUPIE!

So anyway, this will be the first time a lot of my family members will be meeting Drew and I want him to look his best! Can you fault me for that? *bats eyelashes*

I Do... my way.

In less than one week, my brother will be a married man! Can you believe that?! I can't! I am so excited for him! I love JR for him; she def makes him a better person. He strives to provide for her. How cute is that?

So since i'm not the MOH, I don't have to make a speech, right? JR said as his sister I do. We're going to see about that!

Yo, when did it become the norm for children to pay for their own weddings? What happened to father of the bride or at least the bride's family taking care of the wedding? We need to bring back those days! I'm not even trying to do it big, I just want to do it my way and I don't want to pay for it! *hmph*

I'm talking about my wedding as if I'm even engaged. Oh well, I like talking about it so I will.

I wanted some shade of green (besides 'sage') but it's supposedly bad luck. I think it's fake bad luck and just Ghanians hating on the color green ("you will not have that nigerian green"). But now that I think about it, green is color that not everyone looks good in; it doesn't matter the shade. I don't want my maids looking sick.

Drew is so on this Vegas tip... "Let's just have a bunch of our friends go out there and we do it! And party afterwards!" I see where he's going with that but Britney.Spears comes to mind when I hear "let's just go out to Vegas for a wedding." He says it's only B.Spears when you've known the person for 3 months and get divorced less than 3 months later. Well, if a fabulous and thought out wedding can be planned out there, why not do the same... where?

MIAMI, BITCH!

did you expect anything less from me?

Again, I just want to have my homies around and we eat, chill, party. And I get married in a pretty dress sometime in between, is that too much to ask? Oh yeah, family can be present... on only one day!

Pre S.

The post below is not pity party. it was just a stream of consciousness post.

"Where's #371?"

I just have the most backwards "luck" with things I "speak" into existence. I just KNEW I was moving to DC and teaching there this year. But it's kind of hard to teach when you don't have a classroom or even a school to go to.

I may be jumping to conclusions but let's keep it real; I haven't heard a PEEP from anyone in DC since I posted the "Congrats! You've been hired by DCPS" post on July 29. I take that back. I got an OOO reply from 4 of the 14 principals I e-mailed.

Add this to the list of things I said I was going to do but didn't. I hate this feeling. I feel like I'm all talk and no action. I'm pissed.

Then I try to look at the "bright" side. "Everything happens for a reason," and "It's not on your time but God's time" and all those platitudes you tell yourself to make yourself feel better.

Fuck that shit.

Now I'm on this defeatist attitude like, "Why'd I even bother?"

That's what I've been on since I left DC. Ups and downs; highs and lows. I'm feeling good knowing that everything in due time, then I drive to school and burst into tears in my parking spot. I tell myself, "This is a good time to save hella money" then I think of how I would ignorantly spend money on things that would make me feel better about where I am... again.

At the end of the day, I just wish I never got in the starting blocks.*

*reference to my deep seated fear/hate of running track. although i'm naturally talented in track and field, I HATED the sport b/c of the chance I would not come in first. I would rather not run than not win.